I Missed You
by shana852963
Summary: It's been years since Freddie has seen Carly or Sam. He's been living his seemingly perfect life in Texas with his wife and daughter, believing that his drifting away from the two was how it was supposed to be. But then Freddie stumbles across Sam, who has just moved to town. Will he still be convinced that everything ended up how it was supposed to? Or will Sam change his mind?
1. Chapter 1

**AN-So if you have read any of my other stories, I usually have my more mature stories like this centered around the idea of Sam having some new life away from Carly and Freddie and Freddie coming back to find her. But for awhile now I've been thinking about reversing the roles a little bit and I came up with this story. I hope you guys like it. Obviously, there will be Seddie!**

…

"Daddy!"

"Hey there, pumpkin," Freddie smiled, scooping his five-year old daughter into his arms as she came charging towards him once he stepped through his front door.

"I missed you daddy," the child said.

"Lauren, I was only gone for a couple hours," Freddie chuckled, kissing the top of her head and rustling her long, red hair.

"I know, I still missed you," Lauren said simply.

"Freddie? Is that you?" he heard his wife calling from the kitchen.

"Yeah," Freddie said, heading into he kitchen with Lauren. "I just got home, Sarah. How was your-"

"I thought you were going to be home half-an-hour ago," his wife, Sarah, said as she pulled a large casserole dish out of the oven.

"My meeting ran late," Freddie said. "And since I only go into the office a couple times a month, I couldn't exactly just _leave _during one of the only times I was required to be there, could I?"

"No, I guess not," Sarah sighed, giving him a quick kiss. "But now I'm going to be running late for _my _meetings. I'm meeting with three clients and giving tours of two new open houses I just took on. Plus I have so much paper work…I think I'm gonna have to be a little late tonight, sweetie."

"Aw, well, that's okay," Freddie told her. "Lauren and I will have fun here, won't we, Lauren?"

"Uh-huh!" Lauren smiled.

"Great, well, I'll see you guys later then," Sarah said, grabbing her bag. "I just finished up a squash casserole for you guys to have for lunch. Make sure Lauren eats enough of it, she needs her vitamins."  
"Yeah, okay, got it," Freddie said.

"Bye Lauren, be good for daddy," Sarah said, giving her daughter a quick hug before heading out.

This was a typical day for Freddie Benson. As a stay-at-home father, he'd spend his days taking care of Lauren while Sarah rushed off to her job as a real estate agent.

Freddie didn't mind, though; he loved getting to spend most of his time with his daughter.

"Daddy?" Lauren said, cringing at the casserole sitting on the counter. "Do we have to eat this for lunch?"

"Er…" Freddie frowned, looking down at the very unappetizing dish. "How about this? Let's go _out _to lunch and maybe sort of dump this casserole down the garbage disposal when we get back. Sound like a plan?"

Lauren nodded eagerly.

"Great, go get your jacket," Freddie told her. "We'll go get those hot dogs from the park that you love."

"Yay! You're the best, daddy," Lauren said happily.

"Yeah, well…I know," Freddie chuckled.

Once he had helped Lauren fasten the buttons on her coat, the two set out outside.

It was unseasonably cold; even in the winter, Texas usually didn't see temperatures this low.

"Can I play at the park after we eat our hot dogs?" Lauren asked as Freddie took her hand and led her down the sidewalk in front of their home.

"Sure," Freddie agreed.

The park wasn't too far from their home; just a short walk across the street led them to the large grassy area that Freddie had been taking Lauren to since she could walk.

"Two hot dogs, please," Freddie said to the vendor of the small hot dog stand across from the jungle gym.

The vendor handed him the hot dogs and Freddie and Lauren headed over to their usual bench to begin to eat.

"Why doesn't mommy like hot dogs?" Lauren asked as she took a bite of her lunch.

"Mommy's a vegetarian, sweetie," Freddie explained. "That means she doesn't eat meat."

"But hot dogs are so good," Lauren pointed out, and Freddie couldn't help but laugh.

Sarah had been an avid health nut ever since Freddie had met him during college so many years ago. She exercised religiously, never ate anything that wasn't organic or came from the health store and scowled at anything processed or filled with sugar.

"I know," Freddie agreed. "But everybody has different preferences."

Ten minutes later, once Lauren had finished her hot dog and Freddie had wiped the mustard from the corner of her mouth, he watched his daughter run off towards the jungle gym.

He smiled as the wind blew Lauren's hair out behind her, and he took a moment to appreciate just how much she looked like her mother. The red hair, the hazel eyes, the small, button nose… Freddie would sometimes joke that his genes appeared to have gotten lost. But even though Lauren didn't inherit too many of his physical characteristics, she definitely got his love of knowledge and computers, which always made Freddie's heart swell up with fatherly pride. She might be Sarah's clone on the outside, but on the inside, she was a real daddy's girl.

Him and Sara had met while they were both studying at the University of Texas. He had gotten a full-ride scholarship to peruse software development and she had been working hard to earn her business degree. They were drawn to each other because they had both felt like outsiders at the school. Both were far from home, missing those they had left behind.

He sighed as he thought back to how hard those first few months were away from home. Washington was far from Texas, after all, and when he was first accepted, he was hesitant to go at all. It had been the hardest thing to say goodbye the night before he left. He remembered how Carly had had tears in her eyes as she smiled and told him have a safe trip and how Spencer had clasped his shoulder and wished him good luck and how Gibby had tried to pass down his lucky socks to him (though he had politely refused those).

But it was always Sam's goodbye that he had been most moved by…

Right when Freddie was about to set off on the road, Sam had pulled him aside.

"I'll miss you," she had said softly as she looked right into his eyes. "A lot."

That was all she had said, but those few words had stuck with Freddie the longest, and they were the ones that had kept him up at night in his small dorm room for the entirety of his freshman year.

That was the reason when it came time for him to choose between going back home to Seattle for the summer and staying down in Texas until the next term, Freddie had opted to stay.

It had been near impossible to leave once; he knew he wouldn't be strong enough to do it again.

That was the summer he had met Sarah, and he had always taken that as a sign that he was supposed to have stayed.

He never went back to Seattle, but that didn't mean he didn't still think about his home. There were days like this where he couldn't help but reminisce on what he had left behind. He wondered how everybody was…he knew Sam and Carly had both went to Washington State, but that was about it.

He wondered if they were mad at him for never coming back…

_It was for the best, _Freddie told himself. _I needed to get out and spread my wings. And look what happened. I have a beautiful wife, the best daughter I could've ever asked for…this is the way my life was supposed to turn out. _

Freddie watched Lauren scramble to the top of the jungle gym, laughing as she slid down the slide. She could climb up and down for hours without ever getting bored, and Freddie could sit and watch her for just as long.

He glanced over to a crowd of people cutting through the park. It was always busy around this time. It was the normal lunch hour and people from the office buildings surrounding the park would cut through on their way to get their food from one of the nearby restaurants.

He stared at the busybodies, chuckling slightly as he remembered how he had always imagined being one of them. Back when he was in high school, he'd never have imagined being a stay-at-home father. He did have a job; he worked from home as a web designer for a large company. He had given up several promotions throughout the years so that he could continue to stay home with his daughter, and he had never regretted the decision once.

Suddenly, though, his eyes fell on a woman in the crowd. She had long blonde hair and even from a distance, he could see she had piercing blue eyes. She was small, but she walked with such conviction that she could've been ten feet tall.

"No…" Freddie said softly, his jaw dropping the woman came closer, allowing him to see her better. "No…It's not…it can't be…"

But it was, there was no mistaking it.

That was Sam Puckett.

Tossing his half-finished hot dog in the trash, Freddie ran over to the crowd, nearly running into a jogger as he did.

"Sam!" he called out. "Sam!"

He reached out and touched her shoulder, causing her to spin around, taking the ear buds that had been in her ears out.

For a moment she simply stared at him. Then she opened her mouth. "Freddie?" she said in amazement.

"Sam," Freddie said again. "I-Hi."

From this close, Freddie could see that Sam looked almost as she did the day he had left Seattle.

Sam continued to stare at him. "What-What are you doing here?" she asked slowly.

"I _live _here," Freddie said. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I live here too," she replied. "As of…fifteen hours ago, that is."

"You just moved here?"

She nodded. "Yeah, um, I got a new job down here so here I am."

"Oh," Freddie said. "Well, um…wow. Um…you-you look-I just-I mean…I can't believe I'm really seeing you right now."

Sam gave him a small smile. "Yeah…me neither."

The two stared at each other for another moment before they both stepped closer and wrapped their arms around the other.

"It's good to see you again, Sam," Freddie said. "I've missed you."

"Yeah, um, you too," Sam said. "I mean we haven't seen you since you went off to college…"

"Um, yeah, I-I know," Freddie said, somewhat guilty. "I-I just-So you live here now. Well, um, we'll have to catch up some time."

"Yeah, that'd be nice I guess," Sam agreed.

"You busy now?" Freddie asked. "We could sit here and talk or-"

"I, um, actually have to get some residency forms over to city hall," Sam said, holding up the folder in her hand. "The guy I need to give all this stuff to leaves in a couple hours so I sort of need to get them over there now."

"Oh, right," Freddie said. "Yeah…Well, um, maybe tomorrow you could come by my place for dinner? You know, if you're free. My wife makes this really good walnut salad."

"Your wife?" Sam repeated, raising an eyebrow. "You mean you're married now?"

"Um, yeah," Freddie nodded. "Yeah…I am."

"Oh," Sam said, somewhat surprised. "Well…congrats. Guess-Guess things really worked out for you here then."

"Yeah, they did," Freddie said. "So…does tomorrow work for you then?"

"Uh, sure, I get off of work around six," Sam replied.

"Perfect, we'll eat at seven then," Freddie said. "I'll text you my address. Oh, I guess I should get your number then…"

Sam gave him a small smirk. "Yeah, that would probably help. Here, let me get yours too…"

They had both pulled out their phones when Lauren came running over from the jungle gym.

"Daddy, can you come push me on the swings?" Lauren asked, tugging on Freddie's sleeve.

"Yeah, sure Lauren," Freddie said. "Just a minute though. I want you to meet someone. This is Sam. Her and I…we used to be-she's an old friend of mine. Sam, this is my daughter, Lauren."

Sam stared down at the child, almost in disbelief. She quickly recovered though and extended her hand to Lauren.

"Hi there, Lauren," she smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"You're my daddy's friend?" Lauren said hesitantly. "Daddy doesn't have friends."  
Sam laughed.

"I do too!" Freddie defended.

"How come I never see them?" Lauren asked simply.

"I-I don't know," Freddie said lamely.

"I was friends with your dad back when he was barely taller than you," Sam told Lauren.

"Wow," Lauren said, impressed.

"She's real cute," Sam said to Freddie.

"Thanks," Freddie said.

"Um, okay well…I need to get to city hall," Sam said. "I-I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Lauren."

"See you tomorrow," Freddie echoed.

"I like her, she's nice," Lauren said.

Freddie chuckled. "Yeah, Sam's…Sam's great. Now come on, let's get you on those swings."


	2. Chapter 2

"It's official," Sarah said later that evening as she stepped into her and Freddie's home. "I work with morons."  
"Rough day?" Freddie asked, looking up from his laptop as he gave his wife a quick kiss.

"Don't get me started," Sarah sighed, collapsing onto the couch next to him. "Lauren asleep?"

"Well yeah, it's almost midnight," Freddie said.

"Oh," Sarah said, looking at the clock. "I guess it is. I didn't realize it was so late. You and Lauren have fun today?"

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "I, um, took her to the park, we got some books at the bookstore, we watched cartoons. Hey, funny thing…"

"What?"

"At the park today, I-I ran into an old friend of mine," Freddie told her.

"You mean from college?" Sarah frowned.

"No, from _way _back," Freddie replied. "From Seattle."

"Seattle?"

"Yeah," Freddie said. "You remember I told you me and my friends used to have a web show, right?"

"Yeah," Sarah said. "iConnie or something."

"iCarly," Freddie corrected. "Anyway, I-I ran into one of the girls I did the show with. Sam. Sam Puckett. She lives here now. In Texas. Isn't that something? I can't believe I actually saw her again. I mean what are the odds, right?"

"Oh…" Sarah said, looking surprised. "Yeah, pretty strange."

"I know," Freddie smiled. "I mean if I hadn't looked over at the right time and seen her, I may have never found out she was here."

"Did you talk to her?" Sarah asked.

"Of course I did," Freddie said. "Not for long, though, she had to be somewhere, but we talked for a few minutes. I introduced her to Lauren."  
"You did?"

"Yeah, Lauren seemed to really like her," Freddie said.

"Oh, well, that's nice," Sarah said.

"I want you to meet her too," Freddie continued. "I invited her over for dinner tomorrow night and-"

Sarah frowned. "You-You what?"  
Freddie's face faltered. "Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?"

"Well it's just I wish you'd at least _ask _me before you decide to bring people over," Sarah shrugged. "I mean what if I had had meetings tomorrow night or other plans or-"

"I thought Thursdays were your free nights," Freddie pointed out. "But…I can always call Sam and reschedule and-"

"No," Sarah sighed. "No…don't do that. I can make tomorrow work. Just next time swing things like this by me first. You know I hate surprises."

"I will," Freddie promised. "But I can't wait for you to meet Sam, Sarah."

"Is she the girl whose apartment you used to always hang out in, or the one who used to beat you up twice a week?"

"Er…the second one," Freddie admitted. "But that was when we were kids. She mellowed out when we got older…sort of…a little."

"Well," Sarah smiled, moving closer to him and wrapping her arms around him. "She better not do any real damage to you. I'd hate to have to break in a new husband."

Freddie chuckled. "Don't worry, honey. I can handle myself."

…..

"Alright, sign here, initial here…I'll need your driver's license."

Sam flipped through the piles of paperwork down at city hall, wondering what on Earth half of this stuff was used for. Did she really need to sign so many dotted lines just to actually be a resident of a state?

"Now just fill out this last form and you're all done, Ms. Puckett," the man who had been helping her said. "Welcome to Texas."  
"Thanks," Sam mumbled.

As she took back her drivers license and handed back the last form, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket for the eighth time that day.

"Please don't hesitate to stop by between the hours of eight A.M. and five P.M. if you have any further questions," the man said as Sam headed for the door.

"Sure," Sam said simply, thinking to herself the only way she'd come back to this stuffy old place was if she was if she was forced against her will.

As she stepped outside into the fresh air, Sam took a moment to look around her new home.

_I hate it here_, Sam thought. After all, she hadn't exactly _wanted _to move here in the first place…

She started down the street towards her new apartment building. While she walked, she thought back to a few hours earlier, when she had run into none other than Freddie Benson.

_I can't believe I moved to the same exact city Freddie's in…how unlikely is __**that**__? And he's married now with a __**kid**__? Crazy…_

Honestly, she had never thought she'd see Freddie again. After he decided to move to Texas permanently after he left Seattle for college, they had lost touch.

She couldn't be mad at him for that, though, as much as she had wanted to at first. Her and Carly had never gone back to Seattle either, except every now and then to visit Spencer. They had wound up finding an apartment not far from the campus of Washington State to live in while they were in school.

Sam remembered when they had first gone their separate ways, Carly would always talk about the two of them taking a road trip down to Texas to visit Freddie some weekend. But projects and midterms and papers had gotten in the way, and by the time their freshman year was finished, both girls had adjusted so well to their new lives…

Still, though Sam couldn't deny the fact that when Freddie never called or texted or _anything _that she hadn't been hurt.

She tried to justify it over the years…He had probably been really busy in college, being the overachiever that he always was. She had been busy too, even though she wasn't exactly a star student. And friends lost touch with each other all the time; it wasn't unheard of, especially when they went off in different directions.

But had that been all her and Freddie ever were? _Just friends_?

Once again, Sam's phone buzzed in her pocket, and deciding not to ignore it any longer, Sam fished it out and saw Carly's name flashing on the screen.

"You're weren't gonna do anything else with yourself until I answered, were you?" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Well you promised you'd call when you got into Texas," Carly said on the other line. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Sam said. "I was just tired when I got here last night and I had to fill out some stuff at city hall this morning."

"Alright," Carly said slowly. "Well, just remember Sam, even though you're living in Texas now, if you need anything-"

"I thought the point of me moving away was so that I could, as you put it, 'get my life back'," Sam pointed out. "How do you expect me to do that with you calling me ten times a day?"

"I only called you nine times today," Carly corrected.

"Same thing," Sam said, running her fingers through her long, blonde hair. "Hey, actually, I do have something to tell you…Guess who I ran into today."

"What? You mean you found someone you know already?"

"Someone that _we _know," Sam said. "I-I found Freddie."

"_Freddie_?" Carly gasped on the other line. "_Freddie_?"

"Yeah, Freddie," Sam said. "You know, the tech monkey that hung around with us in high school."

"I know who Freddie is, Sam!" Carly exclaimed. "I just-Oh my God! I can't believe you ran into him! It's been _years_. What's he doing there?"  
"He lives here," Sam explained. "I guess he never left Texas when he came here for college…And get this, he's _married_. _And _he-he has a daughter."

"A daughter?" Carly repeated.

"Yeah," Sam said. She stopped walking and looked across the street at the park she had run into Freddie in hours earlier, watching as the young children scrambled on the jungle gym.

"Well did you talk to him?" Carly asked quickly, snapping Sam out of her daze.

"Um, yeah," Sam replied. "I'm actually supposed to have dinner with him and his wife tomorrow."

"That's great," Carly said. "Knowing someone will help you out a lot. Hey, tell Freddie I say hi and that I miss him and that he should give me a call sometime so we could talk. Give him my number. Maybe I could come down there some weekend and the three of us could meet up again. Like old times."

"Yeah, I-I'll tell him," Sam said. "Hey, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later, Carls."

"Alright, call me if you need _anything_, Sam," Carly said. "I mean it."

"Uh-huh," Sam said. "I will. Bye."

She hung up her phone, letting out a small sigh. She supposed Carly had a point; maybe a familiar face in this new town would make things a little easier.

But then again, she realized as she continued down the sidewalk, away from the park, they couldn't exactly get harder than they already were.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sarah? Where are you? I thought you said you'd be home in time for dinner!" Freddie said into his phone as he left his wife a voicemail. "Sam's gonna be here any minute now and-"

"I'm here," Sarah said, walking into the house. She stepped into the kitchen where Freddie was hanging up his phone as he slid a tray of chicken out of the oven.

"Chicken?" Sarah frowned. "I made a salad for tonight."

"Yes, well, you see Sarah, some people enjoy more than a _salad _for their main meal of the day," Freddie smirked, giving her a quick kiss. "Where were you? I thought you said you were leaving work early today."

"I did, but I still had to finish up a few emails and review a presentation," Sarah said, pulling a wine bottle out of the paper bag in her arms. "I got wine, though."

"Thanks," Freddie said. "And don't worry about the chicken. I put in one of your tofu cutlets for you to have."

"Good," Sarah said, still cringing at the chicken. Freddie knew Sarah would probably have a few more words to say about him serving something she had labeled as 'grossly unhealthy', but if memory served him, he'd be in more danger if he presented Sam with a vegetarian meal. "Well, I'm going to run up and change before she gets here then."

"Alright," Freddie nodded as Lauren ran into the room.

"We're having chicken for dinner?" Lauren said excitedly as Sarah hurried upstairs.

"Yes, but enjoy it while it lasts," Freddie told her as he scooped her into his arms and kissed the top of her red head. "You excited to see Sam again, sweetie?"

"Yeah, I liked her," Lauren nodded. "You think she'll play Treasure Hunt with me?"

Treasure Hunt was Lauren's favorite board game that Freddie would usually play with her at least once a day.

"I don't know, she might have to get back home after dinner," Freddie said. "She might be busy."

Was she busy? It suddenly dawned on Freddie that he knew virtually nothing about Sam anymore. Sure, they had been close friends for years growing up, but he had spent just as many years away from her now.

He didn't know what she did, if she was the same person she had been back in Seattle, if she had a family now.

She was hardly more than a stranger.

_Well_, Freddie told himself. _Hopefully I'll find out more tonight._

Just then he heard the doorbell ring.

"Is that her?" Lauren asked anxiously.

"It should be," Freddie said, setting his daughter down as he hurried to the door.

Sam was standing on his doorstep, and as he opened the door, she gave him a small smile.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," Freddie said, letting her into the house. "You found the place…great. I was a little worried you'd get lost. When I first moved here I had trouble getting around."

"I just used my phone," Sam shrugged.

"Oh…right," Freddie nodded as he led Sam into the kitchen. "Well, my wife is just upstairs changing. She should be down in a minute and then we can eat."

"Cool," Sam said. She spotted Lauren sitting at the table. "Hey there…Lauren, right?"

"Yeah," Lauren said brightly. "Are you the reason we're having chicken tonight?"

"Um…what?" Sam said, confused.

"Nothing," Freddie said quickly. "My wife, Sarah, she's a vegetarian, but I figured you'd rather have meat. I mean…you would, right? I remembered how much of it you ate back in high school and-"

"Yeah," Sam said. "Yeah…chicken's great."

"Right…well," Freddie said, clearing his throat. He picked up the wine bottle "Here, let me pour you something to drink."

"Oh," Sam said as Freddie got down three wine glasses from the cabinet. "I-I actually…I don't drink."

That caught Freddie off guard. _Surprise number one._

"Sorry," Sam said quickly.

"No, it's fine," Freddie said, putting one of the glasses back. "I-I didn't know. Well can I get you water or um-"

"Water's good," Sam said.

"So…" Freddie said as he handed her a bottle from the fridge. "Um, how are you liking Texas so far?"

"I dunno, it's different than Washington, I guess," Sam said simply. "More people. I got stuck in traffic twice on my way to my job this morning."

"Yeah, you get used to it," Freddie said, pouring wine for him and Sarah. "Where do you work?"

"That dance school across from the mall," Sam replied. "I'm teaching there."

"You teach dance?" Freddie said. He briefly remembered Sam telling him at once point years ago that she used to dance, but he never would've thought she'd make a career out of it.

_Two new things in under five minutes_, Freddie noted.

"That's where I dance!" Lauren exclaimed. "Madame Lucille's Dance School!"

Sam turned to her and grinned. "Oh, so you're a dancer, huh?"

"Yeah, I like to spin," Lauren nodded.

"She takes a ballet class a couple times a week down there," Freddie said. "Maybe-Well, I guess that means we'll see you there sometimes then."

"I guess you will," Sam said, meeting his gaze.

"I just would've never thought you'd become a dance teacher," Freddie continued. "But hey…that's great!"

"I just started out with it," Sam told him. "I used to be a lawyer."

"A _lawyer_?" Freddie repeated, and Sam couldn't help but chuckle at his amazement.

"I know…not what anyone expected," Sam said. "But I like to argue and I can find loopholes in anything, so I figured why not get paid the big bucks to do those things? But, um, I sort of hated it after awhile. You know, sitting in a skirt all day in some stuffy office. Carly actually pushed me into going back to dance like I had been talking about for awhile and-"

"You still talk to Carly?" Freddie said.

"She's still my best friend," Sam nodded. "I, um, actually told her I ran into you here…She said to tell you hi for her and that she hopes we all can catch up sometime. She's bound to come visit eventually."

"That's be perfect," Freddie said. "I'd love that. How is she?"

"She's good," Sam said. "She's a journalist for a fashion magazine." She hesitated for a moment before reaching into her pocket and handing him a slip of paper. "She actually said for you to call her sometime. You know, to catch up."

"Oh…" Freddie said, accepting the slip of paper. "Okay, I-I'll do that then."

"Hello," Sarah said, walking into the kitchen. She gave Sam a friendly smile and extended her hand to her. "You must be Sam, nice to finally meet you."

"Sam, this is my wife, Sarah," Freddie said as Sam shook her hand.

"Hi," Sam said. "Um, nice to meet you too."

"Well, I'm sure you're hungry, so what are we waiting for?" Sarah said. "Let's eat. Freddie? Why didn't you get Sam some of that wine I got?"

"She doesn't drink," Freddie told her.

"Oh," Sarah said. "Well that's very _nice_."

Sam said nothing as everyone sat down at the table.

"So Sam," Sarah said pleasantly, piling green beans onto her plate. "Freddie tells me you just moved here. From Seattle, right?"

"Yeah, I got a new job," Sam nodded.

"She's teaching at Madame Lucille's!" Lauren told her mother. "She can see me dance!"

Sam smiled at the girl.

"A dance teacher," Sarah repeated. "Well I'm sure that leaves you plenty of time for your family. Or…_are _you married?"

Sam looked down at her lap. "No," she said. "Um, I never really had time for that. I was a lawyer back in Seattle."

"Really?" Sarah said, somewhat impressed. "A lawyer to a dance teacher? Quite a big career shift. Mid-life crisis or something?"

Freddie rolled his eyes. Tact had never been a strong suit of Sarah's. He supposed it was the one thing she had in common with Sam.

"I just wanted a change," Sam mumbled.

"Will you play Treasure Hunt with me after dinner?" Lauren blurted out. "It's a fun game. You have to be a pirate and try to find the buried treasure!"

"Lauren, don't bother our guest with games," Sarah scolded her daughter. She looked back at Sam. "I'm sorry, she's gotten attached to one of her board games."  
"It's fine," Sam said. She turned to Lauren. "I'll play with you. Sounds like a fun game."

"It's the best!" Lauren said eagerly. "You'll love it!"

…

That night after Sam left and Freddie had tucked Lauren into bed, he headed into the kitchen to help Sarah with the dishes.

"So what'd you think?" Freddie asked as he began to dry the plates.

"She seems fine," Sarah shrugged. "She was kind of quiet though…The way you talked about her, I was picturing someone a lot louder."

Freddie realized she was right. Sam _had _been rather quiet tonight. She talked and conversed with everyone, but she definitely seemed much more _timid _than she had been in high school.

"Well it _has _been a long time since I've seen her," Freddie reasoned. "Everybody changes over time. She was real great with Lauren though, wasn't she?"

After dinner, Sam had played four straight games of Treasure Hunt with Lauren.

As much as Freddie loved spending time with his daughter, even he could only manage to get through one or two games of that at a time before wanting to pull his hair out.

But Sam seemed to enjoy herself as she played with the child, and Lauren had had fun as well.

"Yeah, Lauren had a good time," Sarah said simply.

"I'm really glad I ran into her the other day," Freddie said, placing the clean dishes back in the cabinets. "Hey, maybe I'll see if she wants to have lunch with Lauren and me later this week."

Sarah didn't reply.

"Oh, and Sam also gave me Carly's number," Freddie continued. "You know, my other friend from the web show."

"Why?" Sarah asked, surprised.

"She said Carly wanted to catch up, she told her we were living in the same town, after all," Freddie shrugged. "I was thinking I'd give her a call. Maybe with Sam here she'll want to come down and we can all get together."

"Why are you suddenly so excited for a big reunion?" Sarah asked curiously. "I mean…these are the people you were okay just leaving back in college, weren't they?"

"I wasn't _okay _with leaving them," Freddie frowned. "I-I missed them…but I needed to settle down here and get used having my own life." He put an arm around her. "And now that I have the perfect life here, what's the harm in seeing my old friends if they're here anyway?"

"I guess," Sarah said, turning off the sink. She gave Freddie a quick kiss. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Throw out the rest of that chicken. I don't want it in the fridge."

"Alright," Freddie agreed, figuring he'd hide it for him and Lauren to have the next day.

He waited for Sarah to retreat upstairs before he pulled the slip of paper with Carly's number out of his pocket.

_Should_ he call her? What would he say to her? "_Hi Carly. It's me, Freddie. You know, one of your best friends back in Seattle who you haven't talked to in years? How are you?_

Even in his head it sounded stupid.

But then he remembered how great it had been getting to see Sam here…how even though it had been years, there was still something that felt…_right_.

_What could it hurt to call_? Freddie thought, looking at the clock above the stove. It was ten o'clock in Texas, which meant it was only eight back in Washington…she was most likely up.

So taking a deep breath, Freddie pulled out his phone and dialed the number on the slip of paper.

On the third ring, he heard her pick up.

"Hello?" came the familiar voice of Carly Shay.

"Carly?" he said slowly. "Hi…this-this is Freddie. Freddie Benson. You-You know, from-"

"Freddie!" Carly exclaimed on the other line, and Freddie couldn't help but smile as he heard the same enthusiasm in her voice that had been there years ago. "I'm so glad you called! Sam told me she ran into you the other day and I just couldn't believe it!"

"Yeah, it was some coincidence," Freddie chuckled. "She, um, gave me your number. Said you wanted to catch up."

"Yeah, yeah I definitely do," Carly said. "It's been so long. Listen, I was planning on coming down to Texas in a few months anyway to visit Sam. I figured if I went down right when she moved she'd think I was 'checking up on her', but now that you're there…Anyway, I was thinking of taking next weekend off of work and coming down now so three of us could get together sooner!"

"Oh," Freddie said. "Yeah, that's a great idea, Carly."

"Perfect!" Carly said happily on the other end. "I'll call Sam and let her know. It will be a lot easier for us to catch up in person than on the phone anyway, right?"

"Right," Freddie nodded.

"Sam told me you two had dinner today," Carly continued.

"Uh-huh," Freddie said. "She just left, actually."

"How was she?" Carly asked.

Freddie frowned. Why would Carly be asking _him _how Sam was? He had only just met up with her for the first time since they were kids yesterday!

"What do you mean?" Freddie asked.

"I mean, was-was she okay?" Carly asked, her tone becoming more serious.

"I-I guess…she seemed okay," Freddie said slowly.

"Um, Freddie…look," Carly sighed. "I didn't ask Sam to give you my number because I wanted to catch up with you…I mean I do! Don't get me wrong, when I come down there I want us to hang out and talk about what's been going on in our lives and everything. It's just right now…I was hoping you-you'd do me a favor."

"A favor?" Freddie repeated. This isn't what he had expected from this call at all. "What sort of favor?"

"It's nothing big," Carly said quickly. "I-I just want you to keep an eye on Sam and let me know that she's okay. I can't keep calling her a million times a day, she's gonna start getting annoyed and push me away. But if _you _were to, you know, just talk to her and stuff…"

"Carly, why do I have to check in on Sam?" Freddie asked, confused.

Carly was silent for a moment, and Freddie almost thought she had hung up.

"Freddie?" Carly finally spoke. "Why did Sam tell you she moved to Texas?"

"She-She told me she got a new job," Freddie replied. "And-And that's true, isn't it. She's a dance teacher. She's actually teaching at the same place my daughter goes for lessons."

Carly was silent once again.

"Carly?"

"I don't want to tell you too much," Carly said softly. "It's Sam's place to tell you, not mine. But just-she didn't move to Texas just because she got a new job."

"Well then why'd she come here?" Freddie asked.

"I-I can't tell you, I don't know if-I can't tell you," Carly said lamely. "It's up to Sam to do that, that's all I'm going to say. But will you keep an eye on her? Please?"

"I-I okay," Freddie agreed. "I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thank you," Carly said, relieved. "I'm really sorry to just throw all of this at you."  
"It's okay," Freddie said. "But-"

"I have to go," Carly said before he could ask any more questions. "It was really nice talking with you again, Freddie, and I can't wait to see you soon, but I have reservations in half-an-hour that I need to get to."

"Oh…yeah, okay," Freddie said. "I guess-I guess I'll talk to you later then."

"Bye Freddie, and thanks again," Carly said.

"Bye," Freddie echoed as he hung up the phone.

He leaned against the counter, deep in thought.

_Why'd Sam come here if it wasn't for her job_? Freddie thought to himself. _What had happened_?


	4. Chapter 4

"Daddy, ow!"

"Sorry!" Freddie said as he tried for the third time to get Lauren's hair into a bun as her stood outside the dance school. Even though Lauren had been doing ballet for almost a year now, Freddie still had not mastered how to get his daughter's long hair into a tiny bun on top of her head like all the other girls had done by their mothers. "I don't understand! I watched that tutorial online."

He looked at his phone. "Well, we're gonna be late if I keep trying this…let's just put your hair in a ponytail like always."

"No other girl has a stupid ponytail," Lauren groaned. "They all have _buns. _Why can't mommy do my hair for me?"

"Mommy's at work," Freddie explained.

"She's always at work," Lauren mumbled.

Freddie gave her a small smile as they walked in. "You know she'd be here if she could."

The lobby of the dance school was crowded with kids waiting for their lesson to start, along with their parents. Freddie had accepted long ago that he was the only father in this group, though it still didn't make it any less awkward.

"Come on, Lauren," Freddie said, ignoring the stares he still got every time from the moms as he helped Lauren onto a chair. "Let's get your shoes on."

"Alright girls, let's start getting warmed up," Lauren's ballet teacher, an elderly woman who had her hair so tight in a bun that Freddie sometimes worried her skin would rip.

The girls in the lobby ran into one of the dance rooms, and Freddie glanced over at the teacher.

"I'll have her ready in a sec!" he promised as he laced up Lauren's slippers.

The teacher pursed her lips. "Might I remind you, Mr. Benson, that punctuality is a virtue we like to instill on all students _and _parents?"

"Er…"

"Send her in when she's done," the teacher said dismissively, turning into the dance room.

"Now I'm in trouble," Lauren pouted as the mothers began to head out to their cars where they would spend the next hour gossiping about who knew what.

"You're not in trouble, Lauren," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "Let's see…did I lace these right? Hold on…"

As Freddie continued to struggle with the shoes, the door to the dance room next to the one where Lauren's class was being held opened up and a group of teenage girls filed out.

"Hurry up, daddy!" Lauren said.

"I'm going as fast as I can, honey," Freddie said, trying to be patient. "Alright, I think I got it!"

"Not bad."

Freddie turned around and saw Sam coming out of the room the teenagers had just left.

"Sam!" he said. "Hi!"

"Hi Sam!" Lauren said brightly.

"Hey," Sam smiled at Lauren. She turned to Freddie. "Didn't the beginner class start already?"

"Yeah, they're in there warming up," Freddie nodded. "I, um, just ran a little late…I was trying to get Lauren's hair up in a bun, but, well, obviously I was unsuccessful. I'm not to good with hair."

"He's really bad at it," Lauren said.

Sam laughed. She stepped over to Lauren. "It's not that hard..."

She took Lauren's ponytail and skillfully twirled it into an elegant bun. "See? Then you just pin it."

"Whoa!" Lauren beamed, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "Thank you!"

"Okay, I tried that for a good ten minutes in the parking lot and got nowhere," Freddie frowned. "_How _did you learn how to do that?"

"I _do _have hair too, you know," Sam pointed out.

"Oh…right," Freddie said lamely. "Well, um, you better get into class, Lauren."

"Bye Sam!" Lauren called as she ran into the classroom.

Freddie sat in one of the plastic chairs as Sam hopped behind the front desk, grabbing a folder next to the computer.

"So," Freddie said. "You-You liking being a dance teacher so far?"

Sam shrugged. "So far it's alright. I'm with the older kids…not too much to teach them. I'm just fixing their technique and choreographing stuff."

"Oh," Freddie said. "Well…sounds fun. Definitely different than being a lawyer."

"I guess."

"Do you remember all your dance stuff, though?" Freddie asked. "I mean I know you danced when you were younger, but-"

"I minored in dance in college," Sam explained. "Washington State had a pretty decent program. Carly found out about it our sophomore year and pushed me into it. I mean they don't just let you become a dance teacher if you don't know dance, you know."

"Right," Freddie said quickly. "That makes sense…hey, speaking of Carly, I called her last night."

"You did?" Sam said. "Huh…maybe that why she called me twice this morning…So did you guys catch up and stuff?"

"A-A little," Freddie said. _And then she told me to keep an eye on you_, Freddie added to himself.

He watched Sam go through the folder she had been holding, rifling through class rosters. What was Carly so concerned about Sam for? Why did she seem to think Sam wasn't okay? And _why _did she leave Washington if not just for a new job.

"She said she was planning on coming down here next weekend," Freddie said. "She wants the three of us to catch up."

"Does she now?" Sam smirked.

"Y-Yeah," Freddie nodded.

"Well then…that should be interesting," Sam said, not meeting Freddie's gaze. She tossed the folder down on her desk. "Anyway, my next class isn't scheduled for another two hours. I think I'm gonna go grab some lunch. I have to stay late after the place closes for a bunch of meetings to learn the policies around here and I don't want to sit through those hungry."

"There's a great deli across the street," Freddie said quickly. "Really good sandwiches…You-You wanna go grab a bite with me? I usually just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while I wait for Lauren."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, let me just grab my coat…"

As Freddie and Sam stepped out of the dance school, Freddie cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly. "So, um, I'm really glad you made it to dinner yesterday."

"Me too," Sam said. "Your wife, she's-she's nice. Did you meet her here?"

"Yeah, in college," Freddie nodded.

"Ah…I guess that's why you never came back then, right?" Sam said, giving him a small smile.

"I-I didn't think I could leave again if I went back," Freddie said honestly. "I-I didn't mean to make it seem like I just abandoned you all or-"

"It's fine," Sam said quickly. She changed the subject. "So do you work or anything? I mean it's the middle of the day…and all I've seen at the school have been a bunch of moms."  
Freddie chuckled. "I work from home. I design websites. Someone has to stay home with Lauren, though, and Sarah's got a real demanding job and, well, you can bring a laptop anywhere, but you can't exactly sell houses from home, can you?"

"Do you like it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Freddie said at once. "I do."

The two stepped into the small deli, ordering their sandwiches and then sitting down at a table in the back.

As Sam played with a loose end of her jacket while the two waited for their sandwiches, Freddie couldn't help but continue to think about what Carly had told him on the phone last night. _She didn't move to Texas just because she got a new job._

"So," Freddie said. "I-You must've really hated being a lawyer. I mean, to move so far from home…people don't do that without a good reason."

"I just got sick of it," Sam mumbled. She looked out the window, and then, determined to change the subject, she said, "Tell me about Lauren."

"Lauren?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "How old is she?"

"She's five," Freddie replied. "She just had her birthday last May."

Sam looked at him expectantly. "And…?"

"And?"

"Come on," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "What parent can't talk for hours about his kid? You should've heard some woman at the school today. She talked to me for ten minutes straight about what her kid had for breakfast."  
Freddie laughed. "Well…she's-she's perfect. Yeah, she's only five, but she can already read. She begged me to start teaching her when she was three because she said she wanted to read bedtime stories to her stuffed animals on her own. And she hates the color pink. She won't look at any old baby photos of herself because Sarah always insisted on dressing her in pink; she claims it's just an ugly version of red, which is her favorite color. Oh, and she's _terrified _of spiders. She once woke me up at four in the morning because there was one on her window and she wouldn't sleep in her room for a whole week."

Sam smiled. "She seems great."

"She likes you a lot, you know," Freddie said.

"She does?"

"Oh yeah," Freddie nodded. "And she's not exactly the easiest judge of character, so that's saying a lot."

"Good," Sam said softly.

"I-I hope you'll-you'll want to come back over to my place sometime and see her," Freddie said. "Or maybe after her classes sometimes you could come out and hang around with us. She'd like that a lot. So would I."

Sam looked up at him, and for the first time since they had been reunited, her eyes seemed to sparkle like they used to so many years ago. "I'd like it too," she said.

….

Sam didn't get to leave the dance school until late that night. By the time she walked out to the parking lot to her car, the streets already seemed empty.

When she got into her car, Sam simply sat for a moment.

She supposed being a dance teacher was all she imagined it to be. It was definitely more entertaining than being stuffed inside a courthouse all day arguing for people who deserved to be tossed in jail for the rest of their lives to walk free.

Still, though, even though her new job was fulfilling enough, it didn't cancel out the horrible empty feeling that seemed to consume her nonstop these days. The feeling that made her feel as if she were about to crumble at every turn.

She sighed as she leaned back in her seat. She thought about what Carly had said a couple of days ago; about how this whole 'new life' would be easier now that she had happened to run into Freddie. She supposed having a familiar face here did make everything somewhat less hard. Freddie certainly seemed willing to help her adjust to Texas. He was just as polite and friendly and genuine as he had been back in Seattle. Even though he was married and had a family now, Sam could still see the techy nub of a kid that he used to be in him.

She wondered if Lauren would one day develop her father's love of technology…

_Hopefully she'll just inherit her mom's looks_, Sam thought to herself. _Not anything else. _

Sam didn't like Sarah. She didn't have a reason. She had been very nice to her the prior day at dinner, after all. But there was still something about her…

_Wonder what Freddie saw in her_, Sam thought. But then she shook her head. It didn't matter. Let him be happy.

Not everyone deserved to feel as miserable as she did, after all.

Sam started her engine and turned on her lights. As she pulled out of the parking lot, Sam looked across the street at the plaza with the deli where her and Freddie had lunch.

A few doors down from the deli was a small liquor store. Sam stared at it for a moment.

_I could just go in there and get something real quick_, she thought slowly. _No one would know…Carly's all the way back in Washington. And I don't have to teach until noon tomorrow, it's not like I'd oversleep if I get anything. What harm could it do? _

But then, just as Sam was about to drive into the plaza, she slammed on her brakes, as the reason why she had forced herself to stop all that in the first place swam into her mind.

_No…_Sam sighed as she quickly turned around and began driving back to her apartment.

It looked like tonight would be yet another night she fell asleep from crying into her pillow instead of from drinking out of a bottle.

She supposed she could look at that as some sort of a success, but it would never, _ever _be enough to make her feel whole again.


	5. Chapter 5

Late one night, Freddie sat down in his living room, finishing up work on a new website he was designing.

"Daddy?"

Freddie looked up and saw Lauren coming into the room, clutching her stuffed bear.

"What is it, honey? It's past midnight," Freddie said, closing his laptop.

"I couldn't sleep," Lauren said, climbing up onto his lap. "Can I sleep with you and mommy?"

Freddie smiled. "Sure. I was just about to go to sleep anyway. I think mommy's asleep though, so we have to be quiet."

"Okay," Lauren whispered, placing a finger to her lips. "We'll be super quiet!"

They needn't have bother, though, for when Freddie and Lauren entered the bedroom, Sarah was wide awake, typing away on her laptop.

"Hey," she said, closing the computer as Freddie set Lauren down on the bed. "What's this?"

"I couldn't sleep," Lauren said promptly.

"I told her she could sleep with us tonight," Freddie said.

Sarah smiled as Lauren curled up under the covers. "Well it looks like we have no choice, does it?" she chuckled.

"Daddy?" Lauren asked. "Can I have hot chocolate?"

"No," Sarah said at once. "You don't need that sugary junk this late. It will rot your teeth and ruin your skin."

"No it won't," Lauren insisted stubbornly.

"How about this?" Freddie said quickly. "If you get hot chocolate, Lauren, tomorrow morning you don't give mommy a hard time about eating your breakfast."

Lauren hated the breakfast of plain oatmeal and whole-grain toast Sarah insisted on preparing for her every morning.

Lauren pondered this for a moment. "Deal!"

Sarah cast him a look. She always told Freddie he spoiled Lauren too much.

But Freddie felt that every father had the right to make his daughter feel like a princess to the best of his capability. And if that meant letting his daughter drink her favorite beverage before bed for one night, then so be it.

"I'm guessing you don't want any hot chocolate, sweetie?" Freddie said to Sarah.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "No. I'm going running in the morning. I don't want that to weigh me down."

"You're in perfect shape!" Freddie said, amused. "Hot chocolate isn't going to kill you."

"I don't tell you what to put in your body, don't tell me what to put in mine," Sarah said simply.

Freddie chose not point out the lecture she had given him the previous night when she found a candy bar wrapper in his jacket pocket and turned to go downstairs into the kitchen.

He opened up the pantry and looked through the packs of protein bars and trail mix until he found the box of hot chocolate packets.

When he looked inside, though, he found that it was empty.

Well, he had already promised Lauren, he figured, so it looked like he was making a late-night run to the corner store a few blocks away that stayed open twenty-four hours.

He hurried back upstairs and poked his head into his bedroom. "Be back in a sec. I need to run and grab some more hot chocolate. We need anything else while I'm out?"

"You could pick up some more soy milk," Sarah said.

"Alright," Freddie nodded.

He went downstairs again and grabbed a jacket before stepping out of the house and into his car.

It was only a three minute drive, if that. When Freddie pulled into the parking lot he checked his phone, hoping to making it back home within the next five minutes before Lauren wound up falling asleep and this was all for nothing.

Freddie grabbed a carton of milk and a box of hot chocolate and headed straight to the register, barely even looking around the shop.

He was startled, therefore, when he stepped in line at the counter and saw a woman with her long blonde hair tied up and wearing an oversized sweater over her sweatpants at the register.

"Sam?" Freddie frowned.

Sam spun around, startled.

Freddie was even more surprised now that he saw her face. Her eyes were red, and he could tell by the faded tearstains on her cheeks that she had been crying earlier.

"What-What are you doing here?" Freddie said gently. "Are you-were you crying?"

"No," Sam said quickly, looking down at the ground. "No…I-I realized I had no food at my place. I haven't gotten a chance to go shopping."

Freddie glanced at the counter, where the cashier was currently ringing her up for two cans of soup and a box of crackers.

"Sam…" Freddie said softly. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," Sam said, pulling on a fake smile that seemed to contrast the rest of her face greatly. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I-I was just picking up some hot chocolate for Lauren," Freddie said. "She likes hot chocolate when she can't fall asleep sometimes."

Sam's fake smile faltered and she turned back to the register, tossing down a ten-dollar bill and scooping her items into her arms.

"I should go," Sam said, heading to the door without even waiting for her change. "It's late. I need to get home."

"Sam!" Freddie said, setting his items down on a nearby shelf and running after her into the parking lot. "Sam, wait!"

He touched the back of her shoulder, causing her to stop.

"What?" she said, her voice shaky. She was on the verge of tears.

"Sam," Freddie said, confused and concerned at Sam's behavior. He had just seen her earlier that day at the dance school and she seemed completely normal then. They had even gone out for lunch again at the deli. She had laughed at his lame joke about Lauren's dance teacher! Now she looked…broken. "Sam, what-what's wrong."

"Nothing," Sam mumbled. "Nothing. Just-I've got to get home."

"Sam!" Freddie called again as Sam started walking through the parking lot towards the crosswalk. "Sam, I-I at least let me drive you home! You can't walk alone this late!"

"My building's just right there," Sam told him, walking so quickly now that Freddie had to jog to keep up with her. She pointed to a set of apartment buildings across the street.

"Sam, please," Freddie said. "Please, you're not okay. Talk to me."

Sam didn't reply as she crossed the street.

"Sam-" Freddie started again.

"I-I just please, _leave_," Sam said, her voice so cracked right now that if Freddie hadn't been there, he wouldn't have known they came from her. "I'm fine."

"Sam…" Freddie said softly, watching her hurry up the steps to the building.

There was a time where Freddie would've chased after her, no matter how many times she asked him to leave. He would've followed her and tried as hard as he could to try and make her feel better and get her to open up to her.

He would've stayed all night, even if it was just to wipe her tears away.

But those days had gone, hadn't they? He couldn't chase after her anymore.

And so, still feeling hopelessly lost, Freddie set off back towards the corner store, finally realizing why Carly seemed so determined to make sure that Sam was okay.

…

Sam was all Freddie could think about that night, and when he woke up the next morning, she was still on his mind.

"Remember, I'm gonna miss dinner tonight," Sarah told him, coming into the kitchen as he stared blankly down into his coffee. "I have to meet with the Furgensons about that foreclosure."

"Huh?" Freddie said, looking up.

Sarah frowned. "You alright?"

"Yeah, _I'm _fine," Freddie mumbled. "It's just…I ran into Sam last night."

"Huh?" Sarah said. "Where'd you see her?"

"The store, when I went to get the hot chocolate," Freddie sighed. "And-And I think she had been _crying_."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Oh."

"I-I asked her what was wrong, but-but she wouldn't tell me," Freddie continued. "I mean, Sam's never been one to exactly be _open _with her emotions, but-but she was _clearly _upset. I wonder what was going on. I hope it was nothing serious…but, she wouldn't have been that upset if it _wasn't _something serious, right?"

He looked up at his wife, who was staring intently at him.

"What?"

"Listen, honey," Sarah said slowly. "I-I think it's _nice _that you're so concerned with Sam after all these years. I really do. But just…be careful, okay?"

"What?" Freddie said, confused. "Why do I need to be careful?"  
Sarah pursed her lips.

"Sarah?" Freddie said. "What do you mean?"

"Look, Freddie, I like Sam," Sarah said, squeezing his shoulder. "But, well…maybe she didn't move her to Texas randomly, if you know what I mean."

"Er, no, I don't," Freddie frowned.

"Come on, you're a smart guy," Sarah said. "Do you know how unlikely it was for her to move _here _of all places? I mean, nearly every other city in the country has a dance school. She could've taught somewhere else."

"I still don't know-"

"What if she didn't move here so much for the dance school," Sarah said. "As she did for _you_."  
"For me?" Freddie scoffed. "Sarah, Sam didn't know I was here."

"I'm sure the Internet could tell you where anybody was, if you knew how to use it," Sarah shrugged.

"But…why would she come here for _me_?" Freddie said.

Sarah smiled. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you're attractive, have a decent job, and happen to be a _very _nice guy."

"Wait…" Freddie said slowly. "You're saying…you think Sam moved to Texas to find me because-because she was interested in me?"

"Maybe," Sarah said simply.

Freddie laughed. "Sarah," he said. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Sarah said. "She's not married."

"Yeah, and neither is Mrs. Pumplestein next door, but you don't seem to worried about her being interested in me," Freddie pointed out.

"She's seventy-five," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just saying…maybe she realized that soon she'll be reaching that point in a woman's life where if they don't find someone to settle down with, they'll pretty much be screwed out of any hopes of actually getting a family. A lot of woman down at the office are going through the same thing. They realize that and pretty soon they're calling up old friends, ex-boyfriends, _anybody_ that could give them a chance to be, well, not lonely."

Freddie laughed again. "Sam's not even thirty yet. I hardly think she's worried about all _that._ Us winding up in the same town together was just a coincidence."

"A pretty big one, if you ask me," Sarah said. She stepped towards him and kissed him. "Just be careful. Maybe you should try not to get _too _close to her."

"You mean I shouldn't care why she was upset last night?" Freddie frowned. "Sarah, she's my friend."

"I know," Sarah sighed. "But if Sam didn't want to tell you why she was upset, why push it anyway? It-It could send the wrong message."

Freddie rolled his eyes. "I think you're being a little paranoid, honey."

"Look, I need to get to work," Sarah said. "Just…think about what I said, okay?"

She leaned down and gave him another kiss. "I love you."

"Love you too," Freddie replied, giving her a small smile.

As Sarah left, Lauren came into the kitchen, already dressed.

"Morning, sweetie," Freddie smiled.

"Morning, daddy," Lauren said. "What are we gonna do today?"

Freddie thought for a moment. "We," he finally said. "Are going to the dance school. Go get your jacket."

"I don't have dance today, though," Lauren said.

"I know," Freddie said. "We're just gonna pay Sam a visit."

"Yay!" Lauren said excitedly.

Freddie smiled as Lauren ran out of the kitchen.

Sarah was crazy; Sam didn't move here for _him. _And now he was going to go do what he should've done last night and what Carly had entrusted him to do; make sure she was okay.

….

Freddie stepped into the dance school with Lauren, instantly spotting Sam sitting behind the front desk, typing at the computer.

"Hi, Sam!" Lauren said, running over to the desk and peering over at her.

Sam looked up, surprised to see her. "H-Hi Lauren," Sam said, though she looked right up at Freddie as she spoke. "Your class isn't scheduled for today. What are you doing here?"

"Daddy wanted to know if you wanted to have lunch with us today," Lauren smiled, not at all shy.

"If you're not busy," Freddie added quickly.

"Um, I-Yeah," Sam nodded. "Yeah, that-we can do that."  
"Great," Freddie said. "There's this diner that Lauren loves about ten minutes from here."

"They have really yummy pie," Lauren said brightly.

Sam chuckled. "Well I do love pie."

"Daddy?" Lauren said, turning back to her father. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Alright, well, go ahead," Freddie said, nodding over to the restrooms next to the counter. "We'll wait for you."

Once the five-year old had went into the bathroom, Freddie looked back over at Sam.

"Sam," he started. "About last night-"

"Did Lauren like her hot chocolate?" Sam asked pleasantly. "I hope you wound up getting her some marshmallows to go with it because, well, hot chocolate without marshmallows is just weird."  
Freddie frowned. Was she really not going to even _acknowledge _her strange behavior.

"I, um-"

"Hey, Carly used to make this really good hot chocolate from scratch when we were in college," Sam continued, her tone so casual. "I don't have the recipe but when she comes down here you should get it from her. I'm sure Lauren would love it."

"Well, okay…but Sam, are you-"

"I'm ready!" Lauren announced, hurrying back out of the bathroom.

"Great, so am I, I'm starved," Sam said, hoping the desk. "Let's go. I'll follow you in my car."

Freddie stood for a moment, confused. But then he shook his head and followed his daughter and Sam out of the school.

He supposed he should've expected this.

It _was _Sam after all.


	6. Chapter 6

"-And so my plane gets in at a little after one in the afternoon," Carly said over the phone to Sam as Sam waited for her coffee at a small shop a few blocks away from her apartment. "You'll still be at work then, won't you?"

"Um, yeah," Sam said, only half listening. "Yeah, I, um, don't get off of work until eight."

"Well that's fine, I can entertain myself until you're done there," Carly told her.

"Or you could call up Freddie and hang around with him," Sam suggested. "He doesn't work. He's a stay-at-home dad…"

"Is he?" Carly said. "Well, um, that's nice. Yeah, maybe I'll do that."

"Great," Sam said as she grabbed her coffee and stepped out of the shop.

"I can't wait to come down there on Friday," Carly continued. "The three of us together again…it will be so much fun."

"Yeah, real fun," Sam mumbled. "Um, hey, not that I'm not _thrilled _to have you coming, but are you sure you wouldn't rather stay in a hotel? My apartment's still not unpacked and I haven't even made up the bed in the extra bedroom yet."

"Oh that's okay," Carly said at once. "I'll sleep on the couch if you need me to. And I can help you unpack. It will give me a chance to put my decorating skills to work!"  
_More like give you a chance to snoop through all my cabinets_, Sam thought, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Carly continued. "I've been looking at some different things to do down there. You know there's a place not far from you that has different rock collections from all over the world?"

"_Why _would you think that's something I'm remotely interested in?"

"And there's an ice cream parlor that has over two hundred flavors," Carly went on, ignoring Sam's comment. "And, um, there's a really good therapist named Dr. Young who apparently has a practice not far from where you work.  
"Odd," Sam said. "When I go on a trip, I don't usually consider going to a therapist as part of the agenda. But hey, you do what you want, Carly."  
"Sam…" Carly said. "I still think it would be a good idea for you to-"

"I don't need to talk to anymore stupid therapists, Carly," Sam said firmly, stopping in her tracks. She leaned against a brick wall and stared off into the distance. "_Clearly _they weren't helping me before."  
"Yes, but if you go see one with, er, a _clear head_, maybe it will be more effective and-"

"Carls, if I'm forced to go sit in some therapists office for an hour and talk about _feelings_ I'm gonna _need _a drink after," Sam scoffed.

"That's not funny, Sam," Carly said at once.

"I was _kidding_," Sam said. "Jeez, shouldn't you be happy I'm getting a sense of humor back?"

"What if I just make you one appointment?" Carly continued. "And if you don't like it you don't have to go back."

"Oh, hey, I'm just about to go inside a library," Sam lied lamely. "You know how strict they are about talking in those things…I'll call you later, Carls."  
"You haven't stepped foot in a library since you were ten," Carly said, somewhat amused.

"Eh, well, either way, I've got to go," Sam said. "Bye."  
She hung up her phone as she continued to lean against the wall. She knew Carly was just trying to help her out, and she appreciated that. After all, without Carly, well, she probably wouldn't even been standing here. But that didn't mean she didn't get annoyed at her best friend's overprotectiveness. She _was_ capable of running her own life.

Sam continued walking back towards her apartment.

Today had been a good day. She didn't have any classes to teach so she had had the day to herself. She had managed to drag herself out of bed before ten and forced herself to go outside instead of staying curled up in her home like she normally would've.

To most people, she realized, that was hardly enough for a day to be considered 'good', but then again, most people hadn't been through what she had. To her a good day was any day where she could go for more than two consecutive hours without feeling like she was about to break down.

And a bad day…well, a bad day was all the other days.

"Sam!"

Sam looked up and saw Freddie walking towards her with Lauren at his side.

_Well, at least this time I don't look like a wreck_, Sam thought to herself. She hoped Freddie had gotten the message the other day. She did _not _want to discuss their run in at the store. Ever.

"Oh, hi guys," Sam said, pulling a fake smile onto her face. It seemed like most of her smiles these days were strained…she wondered if she would ever have the strength to muster a real one again. She hadn't been able to for six months now and the way she felt, she figured it was a slim possibility.

"Sam, look what daddy just bought me!" Lauren beamed, pulling a board game out of the plastic bag she had been carrying. "It's a new game! It's called Jungle Adventure! You have to help the monkeys get to their banana tree!"

"I'm trying to wean her off of that Treasure Hunt game," Freddie told her softly. "Um, anyway, what are you doing here?"

Sam held up her coffee cup. "I needed caffeine."

"You don't teach today?"

Sam shook her head. "No, not today. Hey, um, I was just talking to Carly…"  
"You were?" Freddie said. "When's she coming down?"

"She'll be here Friday," Sam replied.

"Who's Carly?" Lauren asked.

"She's another old friend of mine," Freddie told her. "When we were kids, her, Sam and I used to do _everything _together."

"Then why'd you stop?" Lauren asked simply.

Freddie cleared his throat uncomfortably, turning back to Sam. "Um, anyway…that's great. We can all go get dinner or something. Hey, where's she staying? With you?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "She, er, didn't want to bother with a hotel."

"Oh, well, I'm sure that will be fun for you guys," Freddie said. "Um, so, you-you busy? You know, now?"

"I guess not," Sam said. "Why?"

"Oh, I was just thinking if you had nothing better to do today, you might want to come back to my place and hang out for awhile," Freddie said.

"You can play my new game with me!" Lauren said excitedly.

Sam pondered this for a moment. What other option did she have? Going back to her empty apartment and curling up on the couch until she went to work the next morning?

"Yeah, okay," Sam nodded. "That-That sounds fun."

"Our house actually isn't too far from here," Freddie said. "You just turn down that street up there. Sarah and I actually picked the house because of the convenient location. You can walk almost anywhere important."

"Huh, I guess that's pretty cool," Sam commented simply, watching the way Lauren held her new game tight against her chest, as if it were her most prized possession.

"Hey, um, Sam?" Freddie said, lowering his voice so that Lauren wouldn't hear. "The other night…I just wanted to make sure…are you-"

_So he __**doesn't **__know when to let stuff go_, Sam thought to herself. _He's still as pushy as ever…_

"Um, look, I-I don't want to talk about it," Sam said quickly. "It was nothing…I-I'm fine."

"But you were-"

"Seriously," Sam said firmly. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Yeah, but-"

"So Lauren," Sam said, deciding to change the subject before Freddie could pry any further. "Tell me more about your new game."

"It's really cool," Lauren said, showing the box to Sam. "Because of all the monkeys. They're my favorite animal. Me and daddy went to the zoo once…"  
As Lauren continued to talk, Sam glanced back over at Freddie, who was still staring at her curiously.

As determined as she was to keep Freddie out of her personal life at the moment, she couldn't help but a tiny bit pleased that he seemed to be taking such an interest. It made her feel, well, cared for.

Freddie hadn't been exaggerating when he said that the house wasn't far. Less than ten minutes later the three had arrived at the Benson home.

"You, um, want anything to eat?" Freddie asked as he opened the front door.

"No thanks," Sam said.

"I doubt you'd like anything we have around here anyway," Freddie chuckled. "It's mostly health food. Sarah doesn't like it when we bring sweets or anything in here."  
"So it's basically like living with your mom again?" Sam couldn't help but state.

Freddie smiled. "You could say that, I guess…although to be fair, Sarah _does _let me eat my fruits in, er, fruit form. She doesn't mush them into sauce."

"Well…that's a plus," Sam said lamely. "So I guess your mom really likes Sarah then."

"Oh yeah, I think she likes her more than _me _half the time," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

That made sense, Sam figured. His mother had despised her, so why wouldn't she love a woman who seemed to be her total opposite?

"I want to be the purple monkey," Lauren announced as she began setting her new game in the middle of the room. "Daddy, you want to be the blue monkey?"

"Sure," Freddie nodded.

"Sam, you want the red monkey?" Lauren asked. "Red's my favorite color in the whole wide world, but you can use it because I like you."  
Sam grinned as she sat down next to the child. "Well I would be _honored _then."

"Let's read the instructions first," Freddie said, picking up the pamphlet from the game box.

"We don't need the instructions," Lauren moaned. "We can make up our own rules! I wanna play _now_."

"It will take two minutes, Lauren," Freddie said. "Let's see…all monkeys start at Crocodile Creek and then we roll the dice to-"

Just then his phone began to ring.

"Ugh, hold on," Freddie groaned, pulling out the phone and looking at the screen. "It's my boss…"

He pressed his phone to his ear and answered. "Hello? Yes, yes I've gotten a chance to do that….uh-huh. Right. Well, can't I just-No? It has to be now? I-Yeah, okay. That-That's not problem. Great. Bye."

"What's up?" Sam asked.  
"My boss needs me to drop off the layout for a new webpage I'm designing," Freddie told her. "Now."

"You have to go to work?" Lauren moaned.

"Just to give my flash drive to Mr. Barns," Freddie told her. He looked over at Sam.

"Er, listen Sam," he said. "I-I won't be gone long. Maybe a half-hour at the most…do you think-would you mind staying here and just looking after Lauren for a little bit?"

"W-What?" Sam frowned. "You want me to-to watch her?"

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "She's not too difficult. Just play the game without me."

"Oh, well…" Sam said slowly.

"Please Sam?" Lauren begged. "I don't like going to work with daddy. His boss smells bad."

Sam sighed. "I-Okay."  
"You're a lifesaver," Freddie smiled, grabbing his coat. He kissed the top of Lauren's head. "You listen to Sam, honey, got it?"

"Got it, daddy!"

"See you guys in a little bit," Freddie said, hurrying out the door.

Sam watched nervously as the door slammed shut behind Freddie before turning to Lauren. "So…um, let's-let's get back to the game, shall we?"

"Do we have to read the directions?" Lauren asked.

Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Nah. We can probably make up a funner way to play this game on our own."  
"Really?" Lauren said.

"Yeah, why not?" Sam shrugged. "I don't read instructions for games either. It used to drive your dad crazy when we were kids."

"I have an idea for a rule!" Lauren said excitedly. "Whenever you roll a six, you have to stand on one foot and count to ten! And when you roll a three, you have to, um…you have to sing a song!"  
"There you go," Sam said. She tossed the instructions aside. "See, we don't need these. Now let's play."

The two played their newly invented game for almost twenty minutes, making up new instructions almost every turn, before the front door opened again.

"Hey, honey, I managed to push some paperwork off on my assistant," Sarah said, stepping into the house. "So I figured I'd come home for lunch and-oh."  
She spotted Sam sitting on the floor with her daughter. "Hello, Sam. What a pleasant surprise."  
"Hi, mommy!" Lauren said. "Sam's playing a game with me."

"Is she now," Sarah said. "Well, isn't that nice."

"Freddie had to run to work to give something to his boss," Sam said quickly. "He-He asked me to watch Lauren for him."

"Oh, well, that was very _helpful _of you," Sarah said sweetly.

Sam pursed her lips but didn't reply.

"Well, let me give you something for your troubles, then," Sarah continued, reaching into her purse.

"No, no that's-that's okay," Sam said. "It's no trouble."

"Want to play with us, mommy?" Lauren asked.

"Not now, sweetie, I need to get back to work soon," Lauren said dismissively. She turned to Sam. "So, how long did Freddie say he'd be gone? I mean I _did _make special arrangements at work so I could surprise him for lunch for once. I guess that was all for nothing, though, wasn't it?"

"He said he wouldn't be long," Sam said, trying to glare at this woman. "He said-"

"Hey, thanks again, Sam," Freddie said, letting himself into the house. "You really-Sarah? What are you doing here?"

"I came home to eat lunch with you," Sarah said brightly, stepping over and giving Freddie a long kiss, causing Sam to shift uncomfortably. "I have to work late again tonight so I thought I'd stop by and surprise you. I didn't know you would have company over, though."

"Well we can still have lunch," Freddie said. "Why don't the four of us go to that salad place you like and-"

"That's okay," Sam said, getting to her feet. "I-I'll give you guys some privacy."  
"Wait, Sam, it's fine-" Freddie started.

"Thank you, Sam," Sarah smiled. "It's just family time is so valuable to us, you know? I'm sure you'll understand one day when you have a family of your own. Each minute counts."

Sam's face fell and she quickly grabbed her bag. "I'll see you at the dance school," she mumbled to Freddie and Lauren, before hurrying out the door.

"Sam, wait-" Freddie called after her, but Sam had already left the house.

…..

That evening Freddie sat up in his and Sarah's bedroom, messing around with some ideas for his web page design. It was late, but he couldn't sleep.

Just then he heard the front door open downstairs and a few moments later Sarah came into the room, kicking off her heels.

"Hi, didn't think you'd still be up," she said brightly. She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss. "What are you up to?"

"Just work stuff," Freddie said, closing his laptop. "How were your meetings? I can't believe how late they ran tonight. It's almost one."  
"Well you know that Barbra, she can talk for hours about housing values," Sarah shrugged. "And then we all went out for some drinks after."

"Oh, fun," Freddie replied.

Sarah sat down next to him. "So you hung around with Sam all day?"

"No, because _you _kicked her out of the house, remember?" Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "I called her up after you went back to work but she didn't answer."

"She probably had other stuff to do," Sarah said simply. She rested her head on his shoulder. "I suppose I _did _come off a little rude to her today. I didn't mean to kick her out of the house. I just wanted to spend some time with you and Lauren. I'm sure she understood. Next time I see her, I'll apologize, though."

Freddie gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

"Lauren seemed to be having fun with her playing that new game when I got home," Sarah said.

"Yeah, she probably did that thing she always used to do and just ignored the directions and made up her own rules," Freddie chuckled. "Lauren probably loved that."

"Yeah, probably," Sarah agreed.

"I remember she used to drive me crazy with that," Freddie continued. "There was one time we played Monopoly when we were dating and she made up this rule that anytime you passed go, you got to kiss the other _and _collect the two hundred-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sarah said, sitting up. "You and Sam _dated_?"

Freddie frowned as he suddenly realized that he had never mentioned that to his wife.

"Sam used to be your girlfriend?" Sarah said, getting up off the bed.

_My girlfriend, my first kiss, my first love…_Freddie thought to himself. But he quickly shook his head and go up and walked over to Sarah.

"Well, yeah, we-we dated for like, a _month_," Freddie said, trying to make it seem as if that were no big deal. "When we were sixteen."

Sarah didn't reply.

"Come on, honey, it's not that big of a deal, I'm sure _you _had ex-boyfriends when you were sixteen that I've never heard of," Freddie said.

"Yes, but you don't see me running around with them anymore, do you?" she snapped.

"Are you _mad_?"  
"Well am I supposed to be _happy_ my husband's been see his ex-girlfriend again?"

"Look, Sarah," Freddie said quickly, trying to calm his wife down before she wound up waking Lauren. "Sam's just a friend. You know that. I _love _you. How could you think that I'd be interested in chasing after anyone besides you? We've been married for six years. Don't you think we should trust each other enough to not be worried about this?"

Sarah sighed, and Freddie was relieved to see the anger fade from her face.

"You're right," she said. "I'm sorry. I just love you so much that, well, even _thinking _about losing you is just hard for me."

"You'll never lose me," Freddie assured her, leaning down to kiss her. "I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

"-And then we spun around and I got really dizzy," Lauren said as she recounted her ballet lesson to Sam and Freddie as Sam helped her unknot the laces of her slippers that Freddie had managed to mess up as he had tried to help her take them off. "And then we practiced for our recital. I'm going to be a tree. It's an important part because the trees are in a magical forest so they can dance too."

"Sounds fun," Sam said as she continued to pull at the laces. "Jeez, Freddie, what did you do to these things?"

"I'm sorry, I thought I had them, I really did," Freddie said.

"Yeah, well, you might want to find someone with all thumbs to help you, even _they _could've done a better job," Sam commented. She finally managed to untie one knot and she began to work on a second one. "So Carly gets in tomorrow."

"I know," Freddie said. "Does she need a ride from the airport? I can pick her up and-"

"Nah, she already has a car rented down here," Sam told him. "She'll probably just want to meet up with you and hang around until I get out of work so she's not by herself."

"Oh right," Freddie nodded. He briefly wondered if he could take advantage of that time alone with Carly to get any more information on what was going on with Sam. "Hey, speaking of tomorrow, I was thinking the three of us grab dinner. There's a nice bistro around here. You up for that?"

"Sure," Sam nodded. "Sounds good. Carly loves those little restaurants."

"Sam?" Lauren said suddenly. "What happened to your neck?"

Lauren was pointing to a long thin scar that ran from behind Sam's ear down to her collarbone. Freddie was surprised he had never noticed it before…he supposed her hair had always been in the way or it had been covered up by her clothes.

"Lauren!" Freddie hissed, though very curious himself.

Sam didn't seem fazed, though. In fact, she grinned. "Carly was in this little health phase thing awhile ago. She wanted to get in shape which meant she forced _me _to try too. She made us go running in the park one day and I got distracted by this squirrel chasing a pigeon and I wound up tripping over a rock and scraping my neck on a branch that was lying on the ground. I guess that's what I get for working out."

"My mommy works out all the time," Lauren said. "Daddy doesn't, though. He tells mommy he goes to the gym but really he just goes to the bakery and eats donuts."

"And I thought that was supposed to be our little secret!" Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, I think I finally got these laces untied," Sam said, getting to her feet.

"Thanks," Freddie said. "I owe you one."

"Eh, it's fine," Sam shrugged. "Anyway, I need to go get ready for my next class in a half-an-hour. But I'll see you for dinner with Carly tomorrow."

"Sure you don't want to swing by my place for a little bit after you get off?" Freddie asked.

Sam shook her head. "Nah, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm just gonna go right to bed when I get off."

"Oh, well, okay," Freddie said as he swung Lauren's ballet bag over his shoulder. He hoped her refusal had nothing to do with the way Sarah had acted the other day. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," Sam said, giving him a small smile.

As Freddie started towards his car with Lauren, he thought back to that scar on Sam's neck. He didn't know if he was just being overly suspicious, her story of how she got it seemed awfully far-fetched.

….

The next day, Freddie waited anxiously at the small café he had arranged to meet Carly at. Her plane had arrived a few hours ago, and even though the airport was over an hour away, he figured she should be there any moment.

He had dropped Lauren off at one of her friend's houses. If he was going to get some answers about why he had been asked to keep an eye on Sam, he realized Carly would be more willing to tell him without the ears of a five-year old listening.

Freddie looked around once more, scanning the street in front of him. Maybe Carly had already passed him and he didn't even recognize her. Sam had looked almost the same as when he had left Seattle, but who was to say Carly did? She could've dyed her hair or-

"Freddie!"

Freddie spun around just in time to see a woman with dark hair rushing towards him and throwing her arms around him.

"Carly!" he managed to choke out as she hugged him tightly.

"Oh my God, Freddie!" Carly beamed, finally releasing him so he could get a good look at her. "Hi! It's been _forever_! How _are_ you? Oh my God, I can't believe it…you're here! Or, well, _I'm _here! This is so great, we can finally catch up! I'm sure you have a lot to tell me. Sam says you're _married _now and you have a daughter. I can't wait to meet them!"  
"Breathe, Carly," Freddie chuckled. "It's good to see you again too."

"I still can't believe you and Sam ran into each other after all these years," Carly continued. "Talk about luck."

"I know," Freddie agreed. "Hey, so do you want to go inside and sit and-"

"How about we go for a walk?" Carly suggested. "I've been sitting in cramped plane seats all day. I really want to stretch my legs."

"Okay, no problem," Freddie said.

"So Sam gets off of work in four hours," Carly said happily. "And then we can all officially be reunited. Gosh, I can't believe how long its been."

"Yeah, time sure flies," Freddie nodded. "So anyway, Carly, about Sam. You remember how you said-"

"Is she doing okay?" Carly asked.

"Well, I-I guess so," Freddie nodded. "But there was one night I ran into her and it seemed as if she had been-"

"Has she been going to work when she's supposed to?" Carly cut him off.

"I-Yeah, I see her when I take my daughter to dance," Freddie replied. "But-"

"And she _does _leave her apartment, right? Even if it's just to walk around?"

"Sure, I guess, I mean I ran into her walking back from getting coffee the other day on her day off," Freddie said. "But-"

"Great, thanks so much for keeping an eye on her, Freddie," Carly said.

"Yeah, you're welcome, but-"

"So tell me what's been going on with you since I last saw you," Carly said brightly. "I mean you're married with a kid, pretty big stuff."

"Oh, um, yeah," Freddie said, getting the sense that Carly was purposefully steering the conversation away from Sam. "Well, I met my wife Sarah in college and a few years after we graduated we got married and then we had Lauren. What about you? You settle down yet?"

"Nah," Carly said. "Not yet. I've been really busy at work, so, you know…But when Spencer still lived in Seattle I used to watch his son for him all the time while he would go off to art conventions with his latest sculptures so for awhile I was a really involved aunt."

"Spencer has a kid?" Freddie said, surprised that the goofy man who had been such a significant figure in his life was now actually responsible for a child of his own.

"Yeah, Dustin. He's eight." Carly smiled. "About two years after you left Spencer got married to another artist he had met looking for supplies down at the junkyard. She's really sweet, her name's Kelly. But then a few years ago Spencer got this great job opportunity down in Australia."  
"He moved to _Australia_?" Freddie said in disbelief.

"Yeah, it was kind of a big change, but he's really happy there," Carly said. "He's in charge of a children's art program that lets kids have the opportunity to be creative."

"Ah, well, that's nice," Freddie said. "Does he visit?"  
"Um, yeah, he-he actually came up about six months ago."  
"Well I'm sure that was fun," Freddie said.

Carly quickly looked away for a moment before clearing her throat and bringing back her chipper tone.

"So tell me all about college for you! Was it cool to finally be away from your mom? Did you get homesick? Did you ace all your classes? Tell me _everything_."

So Freddie and Carly spent the next four hours walking around the town, recounting the events of their lives over the years. Every time Freddie tried to bring up Sam, though, Carly managed to avoid the subject. Soon Freddie decided just to drop the matter for the moment.

When they reached the bistro where Freddie had made reservations, Carly and Freddie sat down at a small table.

"Oh, I hope you don't mind," Freddie said. "I invited my wife to join us. I thought it would be nice if you got to meet her."

"Yeah, that sounds great," Carly smiled. "I'd love to meet her."

"Let me just call her and make sure she remembered," Freddie said, pulling out his phone. "I don't want her to-"

He paused as he saw a text message from an hour ago on his screen. It was from Sarah.

_Sorry, hon, can't make dinner tonight. Drowning in paperwork at the office. I'll make it up to you later. Love you. _

"Well," Freddie sighed. "Never mind then. She's not coming She has to work."

"Aw, too bad," Carly said as a waiter approached them.

"Good evening, sir and madam, are you ready to order?" he said.

"We're actually waiting on one more person," Freddie told him.

"She should be here any minute, though," Carly said.

"Very good," the waiter said. "Can I interest you in some red wine while you wait?"

"Um, yeah, that would be-" Freddie started.

"No thanks," Carly said at once, picking up the empty wine glasses that had been sitting on the table and handing them to the waiter. "We're good here."

As the waiter walked away, Freddie gave Carly a strange look.

"Sorry," Carly said, lowering her voice.

"Um, it's fine," Freddie said. "I mean I know Sam doesn't drink, but I didn't know both of you didn't."

Carly looked down at her lap for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Look, Freddie, I don't want you to repeat this to anyone or let Sam know that I told you, but, well, back in Seattle, she-she had a little bit of a drinking problem."  
Freddie frowned. "What?"

"Yeah," Carly said softly. "Um, she-she quit about a month before she moved here. I just don't think it's a good idea for the two of us to be drinking around her right now. Not when she's been doing so good."

"Right, of course," Freddie said. "I-She didn't drink anything when she was over for dinner at my place when I offered, though."

"Good," Carly said. "She _is _strong, after all. I know she'll go through with this. It's just, well…I'm paranoid, I guess."

"So is that why you asked me to keep an eye on her?" Freddie asked.

"Er, more-more or less," Carly said lamely.

"What do you mean?" Freddie said, confused. "Why else would you have asked me to make sure she was okay?"

Carly sighed. "Freddie…Sam didn't just start drinking for the heck of it."

"But why did she-"

"Hey," Sam said suddenly, walking over to the table and Carly quickly kicked Freddie under the table to get him to stop talking.

"Sam!" Carly exclaimed, standing up to hug her best friend. "Hey! I've missed you so much!"

"I've been here for two weeks, Carly," Sam said, rolling her eyes as she sat down.

"Yeah well, I can still miss you," Carly grinned.

"How was work?" Freddie asked.

"Good, I finally remembered all the names of my students in my class, so that's a plus," Sam shrugged as she picked up a menu.

"And now we're all here!" Carly said excitedly. "The old trio, together again at last! We'll need to get some pictures and-"

"Calm sown, Carls," Sam smirked. "At least let us get some bread first before you explode."

Freddie looked over at Sam, the long, thin scar on her neck that Lauren had pointed out the day before barely visible underneath her blonde hair.

_What happened, Sam? _Freddie thought to himself.

Suddenly, an idea began to form in his mind. Maybe it was time he bring out his tech skills to do a little research.

After all, you could find out anything about anybody from the Internet.


	8. Chapter 8

The morning after Sam, Carly and Freddie had reunited, Freddie sat at his kitchen table with his laptop out in front of him, a search engine pulled up on the screen.

He had been staring at it for almost an hour now. As much as he wanted to know what had happened to Sam that had Carly so concerned about her and had apparently driven her into a drinking problem, did he really want to snoop behind Sam's back like this? Did he really want to betray her trust when he wasn't even sure he still had it after all these years in the first place?

"Daddy," Lauren said, coming into the room. "I'm bored."

"Daddy needs to do some work," Freddie said quickly. "Why don't you go read some of those new books we got at the bookstore the other day."

"I read them all," Lauren replied.

"Well…why-why don't you read them again?" Freddie said lamely. "Or go watch T.V. I promise, we'll do something in a little bit."

Groaning, Lauren turned and left the room.

Freddie sighed and turned back to the computer screen.

_If I know what happened to her, I can help her, _Freddie reasoned. _I mean sure, Carly's here now, but what happens when she leaves? Sam may need somebody to help her out and I can be there for her if I know what the situation is…_

So slowly Freddie typed _Samantha Puckett _into the search engine.

At first, nothing of relevance appeared. Just her old Splashface page, a bunch of old iCarly videos and blogs, and a page from Washington State that listed her among a group of students who had qualified for some sort of dance scholarship.

But Freddie had expected this. Search engines only showed public results to the average user. If you knew how to work them, you could dive a little deeper. And so taking a deep breath, Freddie carefully made his way further into the search. With a little bit of skill, Freddie soon made his way past all of the simple matches and finally saw something that peaked his interest. It was a file from the Pullman Police Department.

"Did she get arrested for something big?" Freddie said softly to himself. He had always hoped that Sam's lack of respect for the law would've fizzled out as she got older. And he remembered that even back in high school, towards their senior year she began to show some restraint. But maybe she had a relapse and did something to get herself thrown in prison instead of simply Juvie. Could that have affected her?

He was just thinking how hard it was to believe that the tough and mighty Sam Puckett wouldn't have been able to hold her own in prison when he suddenly realized that the file he was staring at wasn't for an arrest.

"Victim's report?" Freddie frowned, reading the description as he pulled up the file, knowing full well he was violating about thirty different rules at the moment.

"Victim Samantha J. Puckett was found unconscious in an alleyway between Brexton and McCaully streets at approximately five-forty A.M on September fourteenth, 2018. Puckett had sustained several bruises and wounds, specifically surrounding her chest and upper thighs. Puckett also sustained a shallow cut along her neck that appeared to have been made with a butcher's knife. Medical examination confirmed three broken ribs, a concussion and broken clavicle. Medical examination also confirmed forced sexual intercourse. DNA was retrieved but no match was found in the system…"

Freddie quickly closed his laptop, unable to read another word.

He felt sick. He felt as if he had just been slapped in the face. Hard.

Sam had been attacked? She had been _raped_?  
Freddie hadn't cried since the day Lauren had been born, and that had been out of joy. Now, though, he wanted to cry tears of distress.

Sam, his friend, the girl who he had hung out with every day after school gotten smoothies with, done a web show with, even _dated _had been forced to go through something so _terrible _and he had never known?

It had been six years ago. Where had he been when Sam was being forced to endure things no person should ever have to? Had be been here at home with Sarah who would've been pregnant with Lauren at the time as Sam had been beaten? Had he been peacefully asleep while Sam had been….

He got to his feet, walking across the kitchen and splashing cold water on his face.

It made sense…even though this had happened six years ago, it could definitely still be putting a toll on Sam now.

He had heard of victims who took _years _to get over their attacks, if they even got over them at all. And he could just imagine how hard Sam would've taken it. He knew she would've blamed herself…she was Sam Puckett after all. She would've thought she should've been able to fight her attacker off. She would've thought it was her fault.

And of course, he hadn't even been there to tell her how ridiculous that was.

_That has to be why Carly asked me to keep an eye on her, _Freddie thought to himself. _Of course she's not okay if she's still being haunted by this. And-And she must've started drinking as a way to cope. That's what Carly meant when she said she didn't start drinking for the heck of it. _

But what did he do now? He couldn't talk to Sam…not when he wasn't supposed to know such private information like this. Should he go to Carly and tell her what he had found out? Would she be mad at him for snooping in her best friend's life?

Freddie leaned against the counter and felt a tear trickle down his face.

Even if he did manage to help Sam cope with the aftermath of this, that still didn't change the fact that Sam had been hurt and he hadn't even been there for her.

….

Sam rubbed her eyes as she dragged her feet into her cluttered kitchen. She was tired, but seeing as she hadn't gotten a good nights rest in ages, she was used to it.

As she stepped into the kitchen, she saw Carly, already showered and dressed, going through one of her cabinets.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Morning, Carly."

Carly jumped and turned around. "Sam! I-I didn't hear you get up. I was just, um, looking for some cereal."

"Don't have any," Sam said simply. "Oh, and I don't have any alcohol here either. And since I know you already checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom…those pills are _aspirins._"

"Sam, please don't be mad at me," Carly sighed. "I-I just don't want to ever have to see you-well, you know. Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone through your stuff."

Sam grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down at the table. "It's okay…I- I appreciate what you're doing…what you've _done_."

"Of course," Carly said, relieved, as she gave Sam a small smile. She sat down in the seat next to Sam. "So last night was fun. It was great seeing Freddie. I wish I could've gotten a chance to meet his wife and daughter, though."

"His daughter's great," Sam mumbled. "But his wife…"

"You don't like her?"

"She's a combination of his mother, that really strict sociology professor we had in college and, well, the Devil himself," Sam said. "What Freddie sees in her I'll never know…"

"Come on, she can't be that bad if Freddie loves her," Carly reasoned. "Maybe you've just been catching her at bad times."

"Nah, I'm gonna stick with she just sucks," Sam said simply. "Wait till you meet her. She's a _vegetarian_."

"Sam, that doesn't mean she's the Devil," Carly said.

"No, but it's a contributing factor," Sam said darkly.

Carly rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's go grab some breakfast. I never thought I'd say this to you but your kitchen has absolutely no food and I'm starving."


	9. Chapter 9

"Remind me to buy some more radishes," Sarah said as her and Freddie strolled through the grocery store. "And more kale. Can you think of anything I'm missing?"

"I've been kind of craving some lemonade," Freddie said as he held onto Lauren's hand.

"Ick, do you know how much sugar is in that?" Sarah cringed. "We're not getting that. We can get some of that organic cranberry juice instead if you want."  
"I don't like that stuff, mommy," Lauren said.

"It's good for you, honey," Sarah said simply. "Alright, Freddie can you go get the fruit while I go grab the wheat flakes from the cereal aisle?"

"Alright," Freddie nodded. "Come on, Lauren."

As he led his daughter over to the produce section of the grocery store, Freddie's thoughts were far from fruit. He couldn't get what he had found out about Sam out of his head. It kept him awake all night and when he woke up that morning it was the first thought that popped into his head.

_How can I even __**try **__to help her_? Freddie thought as he absentmindedly picked up a bag of apples. _Maybe I __**should **__talk to Carly. Maybe she can tell me how to-_

"Daddy, look!" Lauren said suddenly, tugging on his sleeve. "Sam's here!"

Freddie spun around to where his daughter was pointing, where Sam was standing by a display of oranges with Carly.

Before Freddie could even begin to piece together what he might say to her, Lauren had already took off towards her.

"Lauren!" Freddie called as he chased after her. "Lauren, don't run off!"

When he caught up with she had already reached Sam and Carly.

"Hi, Sam!" she said brightly.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Sam said.

"Um, we-we're just shopping," Freddie said. "Yeah…shopping."

He looked right at Sam, thinking maybe if he stared deep enough into her eyes, he could somehow tell her how truly sorry he was for everything she had to endure six years ago without actually speaking.

"Oh my God, Freddie, is this your daughter?" Carly said, diverting Freddie's attention away from Sam.

"Yeah, um, Lauren, this is Carly," Freddie said. "She's the friend of mine and Sam's that I told you about."

"Hi, Lauren," Carly grinned. "Nice to meet you."

"Hi," Lauren said politely.

"So, you guys shopping too?" Freddie asked, clearing his throat, trying to act as though he didn't know something he shouldn't.

"Yeah, Carly doesn't like living off of take-out," Sam said, giving a small smile. "So she talked me into getting some 'real food'."

"You can't eat burgers for the rest of your life," Carly said, rolling her eyes. She turned back to Freddie and Lauren. "Anyway, Freddie, Sam and I were just saying how great it was catching up the other day. I was up all night looking up some dumb tourists stuff and I found some things that looked pretty fun. Maybe if you're free later we could all-"

"Oh, are we having some sort of meeting here?" Sarah said, approaching the group, smiling. She turned to Carly. "I don't think we've met."

"No, I'm Carly," Carly said politely, extending her hand. "You must be Freddie's wife…Sarah, is it?"

"Yes," Sarah said, briefly shaking Carly's hand. She turned to Freddie. "Isn't that nice, hon? Just running into your friends in the grocery store like this? Although I guess I shouldn't be surprised after one friend wound up moving to the same city as you after over a decade. Coincidences just follow you guys around, don't they?"

"Um, well…I was just telling Freddie that we should all try to do something later today or tomorrow," Carly said. "Obviously it would be great if you could join us too. You could tell us embarrassing stories of Freddie and we can tell you what he was like as a kid…it will be fun."  
"Tempting," Sarah said. "But I've got a lot of work to do. Sometimes I wish I had the sort of job where I could just take a vacation whenever I want…but I don't."

Freddie frowned, but said nothing.

"Well, we should go ahead and check out," Sarah said to Freddie.

"But I want to stay with Sam," Lauren said sadly.

"You'll see her at dance this afternoon," Freddie assured Lauren.

"Yeah, I-I heard you're gonna get your costumes for your recital today," Sam said to Lauren.

"Really?" Lauren said excitedly.

"Yeah, they're really cool looking," Sam said. "Your tree costume is the best one, though."

"It is?"

"Oh yeah, no comparison," Sam said.

"Well that's great, Lauren, I can't wait to see you in it," Sarah said. "But we need to go. Mommy needs to be at work in an hour."

"Um, I guess I'll see you at the dance school then, Sam," Freddie said. "Um, Carly, maybe you could meet us there too?"

"Sure," Carly said, though staring off at Sarah, who had already started towards the register. "Um, but you-you should probably get going now…"

"Er, right," Freddie said, somewhat awkwardly as he took Lauren's hand again. "Well…nice running into you guys. I'll see you in a few hours then."

And so with that he hurried off after his wife. As he walked, though, he couldn't help but take one last look over his shoulder at Sam.

….

"Told you," Sam said as her and Carly returned to Sam's apartment with the groceries. "Told you she was the Devil."

"She wasn't so bad," Carly reasoned.

"Carly…"

"Okay, she was _horrible_!" Carly said. "She-She seems so cold and pushy. And Freddie is _whipped_. I doubt he even sees it, though."

"Shame a nice guy like Freddie wound up with someone like her," Sam mumbled. "Watching them makes me glad I've never been married."

"Eh, well, maybe she's nicer when her and Freddie are alone, who knows," Carly shrugged as she began putting the groceries away. "Hey, how long until you have to be at work?"

"I still have an hour," Sam said. She looked around the kitchen. "I might go take a nap."

"You should _start _unpacking," Carly said. "Your living room is filled with boxes! I almost broke my neck waking up to go to the bathroom last night. By the way, you left the light on in there. You should really double check to make sure all your lights are off before you go to bed each night, Sam. I mean do you know how high your electric bill is going to be if you keep that light on every night? There's no reason to, anyway, and-and…oh. Oh, Sam, I-I didn't mean, I-I forgot…"

Sam, who had suddenly grown very solemn, was looking out the window, tears in her eyes. "It's a force of habit," she whispered. "I-I don't even realize I do it half the time…"

"It's fine," Carly said quickly. "I-Your rent probably has electricity included in it. It's not a problem-"

"No," Sam said heavily, shaking her head. She wiped her eyes. "I-I'll try to remember to turn it off tonight. Starting over…that's why I came here in the first place."

…..

That evening, Freddie came downstairs, having just finished tucking Lauren into bed.

Sarah was sitting on the sofa, hunched over her laptop and staring intently at the screen.

The second Freddie stepped foot into the living room, though, she suddenly slammed the computer shut.

Freddie raised his arms up in mock surrender. "I come in peace," he said.

"Sorry," Sarah said. "I thought you were Lauren. I'm ordering her a few Christmas presents and I didn't want her to see."  
Still, though, she made no movement to open the laptop back up.

Freddie sat down next to Sarah and picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned the television on.

"You know that stuff rots your mind," Sarah said shortly as Freddie found one of the _Galaxy Wars_ movies

"Yeah, you've told me about fifty times," Freddie mumbled.

"Come on, you've _seen _this before," Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

"I like it," Freddie said simply.

"Well, wouldn't you rather do something else?" Sarah said, moving closer to him and giving him a seductive smile. "We could go upstairs…"

"I'm tired," Freddie said.

Sarah frowned. "Okay, what's wrong with _you_?"

"Nothing," Freddie said heavily as he stared ahead at the television. He wasn't really watching, though. He had too much on his mind…

"I mean you've been all huffy since I got home from work today," Sarah continued. "What, did you have a bad day or something?"  
Freddie sighed as he muted the television and turned to her. "I thought you said you were going to be nicer to Sam."

"What are you talking about, I _was _nice to her!" Sarah defended.

"You practically point-blank told her you thought she only moved here to find me!" Freddie said.

"I didn't tell her that," Sarah shrugged. "I may have made an insinuation…if it bothered her it's only because it's true."

"And what about with Carly?" Freddie went on. "You iced her too."

"What? Because I had to go work instead of running around town with you three?" Sarah snapped. "_Excuse _me if I have a job to do. _Someone _needs to make some money around here."

Freddie was so distracted by his other thoughts that he didn't even point out that he could be making double her salary if he hadn't given up countless promotions to stay home with Lauren.

"You didn't have to seem so-so _condescending _about it," Freddie said.

"I wasn't condescending," Sarah said calmly. "Look, I can't help it if your _friends _don't understand how busy I am."

"Yeah, we know you're busy, Sarah," Freddie mumbled.

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Freddie said quickly. "Just…well would it kill you to maybe try and spend a little more time with them? Carly's not gonna be here for long, after all, and they were a huge part of my life growing up."

"Yeah, _were_," Sarah mumbled under her breath. "Besides, I had dinner with Sam, if you recall!"

"But-Okay," Freddie said, trying to keep his voice down. "I-I don't want to argue with you. I'm going to bed."

"Okay," Sarah said.

Freddie got to his feet. He hesitated for a moment before he leaned down and gave Sarah a quick kiss.

He wondered if he was just imagining how cold her lips suddenly felt.


	10. Chapter 10

Sam stood at the counter of the nearby Chinese take-out restaurant, anxiously awaiting her order. She had just finished at the dance school and she was exhausted. She wanted to get her food and go home, where Carly had probably entertained herself all day by taking it upon herself to unpack her entire apartment.

At last, once Sam's eggrolls were ready, she headed out towards her car.

It was late, yet the streets were relatively busy. She spotted people still dressed in their work clothes dragging their feet home and people just stepping out for the night.

_God, I hope Carly doesn't find any clubs or anything around here_, Sam thought as she approached her car. _I swear, the last thing I want to do is go out. She can go on her own if she gets any ideas like-_

She suddenly turned around, looking back across the street.

Standing underneath a streetlight was none other than Sarah. She was talking to a man, but Sam couldn't see his face.

_Is that Freddie_? Sam frowned as she strained her neck to get a better look. _No…No, it can't be. Freddie's shorter than that guy. _

And sure enough, the man soon looked up and confirmed that he was not, in fact, Freddie.

Sam raised an eyebrow. _Wonder if Freddie knows this guy…_

She continued to watch, unable to bring herself to look away. But after a moment Sarah touched the man's shoulder and the two turned and walked up the steps of the apartment building behind them.

_Well_, Sam said to herself as she stood there, still staring at the spot where Sarah and the man had just been. _There are __**plenty **__of explanations for that…that guy could be her brother. He could be a family friend. __**Or **__there's always the chance that Sarah's a backstabbing, two-faced __**cheater**__…Yeah, I'm liking that idea better. _

Sam quickly got into her car and drove back home, still replaying the scene in her head.

_I knew that chick was trouble, _Sam said to herself as she hurried into her building and began climbing up to the third floor and opened her apartment door.

Carly was, as she suspected, in the middle of organizing her living room.

"Sarah's cheating on Freddie," Sam announced, tossing her keys down.

"What?" Carly frowned, setting down a vase she had been polishing. "She's _cheating _on him. Oh my God, that's awful!"

"Fitting, though, isn't it?" Sam said. "Terrible excuse for a person…cheater. Makes perfect sense."

"Wait," Carly said slowly. "How'd you find out? Did Freddie tell you and-"

"Oh I'm sure Freddie has _no _idea," Sam said.

"Well then if he didn't tell you, how do you know?" Carly said. "I doubt Sarah herself would've told you and-"

"I _saw _her, just now," Sam explained. "She was on the street talking to some guy, she touched his shoulder and then they went into some apartment."  
"And?"

"And what?" Sam said. "That's it."

"Sam," Carly sighed. "I hardly think that's evidence that she's cheating on Freddie."

"Yes it is!" Sam defended.

"She could've been a friend or something," Carly reasoned.

"But she's _horrible_."  
"Horrible people can have friends," Carly said simply.

"Come on!" Sam said, somewhat irritated that Carly wasn't seeing this her way. "Sarah's the worst, you said so yourself! You're telling me you don't think she's capable of cheating on Freddie?"

"Sam, I barely know her," Carly said calmly. "Sure, I don't get the _best _vibe from her, but that doesn't automatically make her a cheater."

"But she went into an apartment with some dude!"

"She's also a real estate agent," Carly reminded her. "She could've been showing him the place so he could consider moving there."

"Carly!"

"Sam, it's probably nothing," Carly said. "Look, Freddie clearly loves Sarah. She's probably a nice, kind person once you actually get to know her, otherwise Freddie wouldn't have married her in the first place."

"You said just yesterday that Freddie couldn't even _see _how whipped he was!" Sam exclaimed.

"A lot of wives have their husbands whipped," Carly shrugged. "And they're perfectly happy with their marriages. Yes, Freddie might not realize that his wife is a little bossy, but-but I'm sure he would _know _if his wife was cheating on him."

"Yeah, like _no one's _ever been cheated on without realizing it," Sam said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "And you remember how clueless Freddie is! Back when _we_ dated in high school it was like-"

"That was _years _ago, Sam," Carly said gently. "Listen. I'm not saying Sarah's a saint. She _could _be cheating on Freddie. But you can't just assume that from what you saw; especially when you're not in the clearest headspace right now and-"

"Oh so what?" Sam snapped. "Because I used have a drinking problem I suddenly don't know what I see?"

"No!" Carly said at once. "I just meant…you hate Sarah, that much is clear. It makes sense that you'd view any situation with her with a little bias."

"Yeah, well, hopefully Freddie will have a little more faith in what I saw than my _best friend_," Sam mumbled.

"Sam! You-You can't tell Freddie this!"

"Why not?" Sam demanded. "He should know if his wife is cheating on-"

"You don't know if she's cheating!" Carly said, and Sam could tell she was struggling not to raise her voice. "And-And if you go to Freddie and start accusing his wife that-that's only going to wreck stuff between you and him."

Sam didn't reply. She supposed she _did _have a point.

"I-I'm not trying to criticize your judgment," Carly said softly. "Really, I'm not. But-But it just really isn't a good idea to make a whole thing out of something that may be nothing."

Sam stared out into her newly unpacked living room, the anger in her veins subsiding a little bit. Now that she thought about it, what she saw really _didn't _constitute significant evidence to prove Sara was cheating on Freddie, no matter what she herself believed.

"Okay," Sam conceded. "Okay, I-I won't say anything to Freddie."

"Good," Carly said, relieved.

Sam cleared her throat as she stepped into the living room and sat down on her couch. "Well, um, the place looks great, Carly. Thanks for unpacking everything…"

"Oh, it was fun," Carly said, smiling. "I love decorating. I'm thinking I'll tackle your bedroom tomorrow. If-If that's okay with you…"

"Knock yourself out," Sam said. "Honestly, it's probably not gonna get done anytime soon unless you do it."

"Great," Carly said brightly. "Well, I'm going to go take a shower now and then maybe after we can watch a movie or something."

"I think I'm just gonna go to bed, actually," Sam said.

"But you haven't even touched that Chinese food you picked up," Carly frowned.

"I'm not too hungry," Sam replied.

"Um, well okay then," Carly nodded. "Good night."

She started towards the bathroom, but then stopped and turned back to Sam. She walked across the room and picked up a box.

"Um, I-I didn't touch this stuff," she said softly as she handed the box to Sam. "I didn't know what you wanted to do with it."

Just like that, Freddie and Sarah were erased from Sam's mind as she slowly opened the box, feeling an overwhelming rush of emotions as she looked inside. And then, as twisted as it was, Sam suddenly found herself wishing the worst thing that had happened to her was her spouse possibly cheating on her.

Because even _that _couldn't be as painful as dealing with this.

….

It was past two in the morning, yet Freddie was wide-awake, hunched over his laptop. Ever since he had put Lauren to bed he had been searching the web for information that he thought could be of some help to Sam. As he scrolled through countless web pages, the words 'post-traumatic stress' and 'depression' kept popping up, each time piercing Freddie's heart with a fresh sting.

Suddenly he heard the door open and Sarah walked in.

"Hey," she said, giving him a small smile as she hung up her coat. "What are you still doing up?"

"Nothing," Freddie sighed. It was true. He had found _nothing _that would help him help Sam. All the search results had suggested counseling and medications; options that weren't exactly feasible for him considering he wasn't supposed to know about Sam's attack in the first place.

Sarah sighed as she sat down next to Freddie. "Listen, about last night…I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Freddie said quickly. "I-I shouldn't have given you a hard time about not spending time with _my _friends. You have work to do and-and that's that."

Sarah looked slightly taken aback. "Oh…well, thank you, honey."

"I just…Sam and Carly mean a lot to me," Freddie sighed. "But I understand if you can't get out of work to hang around with us sometimes."

Sarah didn't reply.

"But, um, look, Sarah," Freddie said. "I _would _really appreciate it if when you _do _run into them if you could maybe be a-a little…_friendlier._"  
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Friendlier?"

"I know it's not that you're _not _friendly," Freddie said quickly. "But then again we've been married for six years. I _know _you. Sam and Carly don't know how great you are yet. I'd hate for them to get the wrong idea of you."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Freddie, I don't know what you're not grasping here, honey. I don't _need _to be friends with these people. It really doesn't bother me _what _they think of me."

"Yes, but-"

"And I've been perfectly civil to them for _your _benefit," Sarah continued. "Even though, well…"

"Well _what_?" Freddie frowned.

"Even though I don't like them to begin with!" Sarah said. "That Carly girl…she's so _perky_."

"You met her yesterday!" Freddie defended. "And-And that perkiness grows on you. She's a great friend and she's always there for you and-"

"And that _Sam_," Sarah went on. "_She's _something else."

Freddie suddenly felt his jaw clench up.

"I mean first of all, she _clearly _does not have her life in order," Sarah said. "No one in her right mind would give up being a lawyer to teach kids how to dance. And whenever I see her she seems like she's off in another world and-"

"Sarah, that's not her fault!" Freddie said loudly, taking his wife by surprise.

"What do you mean that's not her-"

"She was attacked!" Freddie hissed. "She was _raped_!"

Sarah said nothing.

"That's why she came to Texas, not to find me!" Freddie said. "She left because, I dunno, I guess she couldn't stand living in the same place where she went through the worst time of her life. It must've been hard for her, okay?"

Sarah crossed her arms. "Well," she said simply. "She's not there anymore. So I don't see any reason for her not to grown up and get over it."

And with that she spun on her heel and stormed off to their bedroom, leaving Freddie standing there, stunned.

He stood there for several minutes, wondering _how _his wife could say something so-so _cruel._

And so, for the first time in over six years of marriage, Freddie grabbed the extra pillows and blankets from the hall closet and slept on the sofa.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, before Sarah and Lauren were even awake, Freddie went out to the flower shop and purchased a large bouquet of tulips, Sarah's favorite flower.

_She's your wife_, Freddie told himself as he stepped out of the shop and began to walk home. _You love her, and you don't want to fight with her. She didn't mean what she said last night…It was late, and she had a long day. You can't let this fight fester…you know how many guys would kill for what you have? A great wife and daughter? Don't blow it. I just won't talk about Sam and Carly around her anymore. It's no big deal. I just won't-_

Suddenly Freddie was jolted from his thoughts as he collided with someone.

"Sorry!" Freddie said, staggering slightly. "Sorry, wasn't watching where I was-Sam?"

"Oh, hey," Sam said, seeming just as surprised to see him at this hour as he was her.

"I…sorry," Freddie said again lamely.

"You already said that."

"Yeah…right," Freddie said awkwardly. "Um, so, what-what are you doing out and about so early, it's not even seven yet. I-I remember when we were kids you used to sleep in until noon. Even later if Carly wouldn't drag you outof bed herself."

Sam shrugged. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd take a walk…so what about you?"

"Oh," Freddie said, giving a small laugh as he looked down at the flowers. "I'm just picking these up for Sarah. We sort of had a-a _misunderstanding _last night and well…hence the flowers."

"Misunderstanding?" Sam frowned. "About what?"

_You_, Freddie said to himself, but he bit his tongue.

"It was nothing, just-just normal married couple stuff," Freddie said, trying to sound cheery.

"Yeah," Sam mumbled. "But did _you _do anything wrong?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Sam said quickly. "Well, I'll let you get home then. You probably need to get those in water."

"Right," Freddie nodded. "Actually…they'll be fine for a little bit. Hey, since it's pretty early still, wanna-wanna grab some breakfast? I know a great place to get muffins."

Sam gave him a small smile. "Sure."

Freddie led Sam over to a small bakery a few shops down from the flower store. Once the two had gotten a few muffins they sat down at a table outside.

"These are pretty good," Sam commented as she took a bite.

"I take Lauren here sometimes," Freddie told her. "Usually as a form of bribery. A few weeks ago I promised to take her here if she cooperated at the dentist."

"She doesn't like the dentist?"

"She _hates _the dentist," Freddie chuckled.

"Smart kid," Sam smirked.

"Yeah," Freddie said, staring across the table at Sam. He had to get her to open up to him. It was the only way he'd be able to help her. He didn't care what Sarah had to say about the matter.

"So…" Freddie said, clearing his throat. "Um, this has been great, hasn't it?"

"What, the muffins? Yeah, I told you, they're really-"

"No, not the muffins," Freddie said. "I mean…_this_. Us meeting up again after all these years."

"Oh," Sam said, a little taken back. "Yeah. Yeah, it's-it's been nice. I, um, sort of thought I'd never see you again, you know."

Freddie nodded. "Yeah…I mean, we probably would've never. If we didn't run into each other at the park that day…Look, I'm sorry about never-"

"I told you, don't apologize for-"

"But I need to," Freddie said firmly. "I'm sorry I-I just cut you out like I did. I wish I hadn't. But-But I just thought that since I-I had a life here in Texas that-that it was just a sign that-that this was _supposed _to happen. Now though…now I realize that just because I was happy with my life here, it didn't mean I had to forget about my life back in Seattle."

Sam didn't respond.

"I wish I found that out sooner, though," Freddie said softly. "Because there's been times where I've really wanted you in my life, Sam."

Sam still didn't reply.

"But now that we're here again," Freddie continued. "I hope…I hope that we can get back to being as close as we once were and-and still be able to share things with each other. Even things that-that may be painful to share. Because we used to be so good at helping each other through those painful times. Even though we would tease each other and make fun of each other when we were younger, we both knew if we needed something, we could turn to the other. Just know that-that if there's ever a time when you need someone now…I'm still here for you."

Sam stared at him with a curious expression.

"I, uh, just wanted to put that out there," Freddie said, looking back down at his muffin. "So, um, you know, like I said…don't hesitate to come to me if you ever-"

"I've got to go," Sam said suddenly getting to her feet.

"Huh? No, Sam, stay!" Freddie said, jumping to his feet as well.

"I-I forgot that I-I left the stove on," Sam said lamely.

"Well Carly's there, isn't she?" Freddie said. "She can-"

"No, I-I need to go," Sam said, and Freddie noticed she wasn't meeting his gaze.

"Sam, don't-"

"Thanks for the muffins, they-they were great," Sam said, grabbing her bag and swinging it over her shoulder. "I'll see you later today."  
"But don't-" Freddie started, but Sam had already hurried off down the street.

Freddie let out a sigh. Well, he blew _that _chance. He stared back down at the tulips on his lap. He supposed he better get them home to Sarah before they began to wilt.

She hated that.

….

Sam stormed back into her apartment, slamming the door shut. Carly was still asleep on the sofa, but she didn't care.

"Carly!" she yelled angrily. "Carly!"

"Huh? What?" Carly sputtered, sitting up. "What's going on?"

"Did you tell him?  
"What? Sam, what are you talking about?" Carly yawned, rubbing her eyes. "It's early. My brain's not-"

"What have you told Freddie?" Sam demanded.

That seemed to wake Carly up.

"Nothing!" she said at once.

"Really?" Sam frowned. "So you didn't tell him about-about me being…you didn't tell him what happened to me six years ago?"

"No!" Carly exclaimed. "No, I swear I didn't!"

"Well then did you tell him about-about…" Sam attempted, trying to get the words out of her mouth. "Did you tell him about-"

"No!" Carly said again, getting up off the couch. "Sam, I would never! That-That's up to you to tell him. _If or when _you're ready to."

"You _swear _you didn't mention anything to him?" Sam asked.

"I swear," Carly nodded. "Why-why are you-"

"I just ran into him, and-and we grabbed breakfast," Sam explained, calming down a bit. "And he started talking…he-he was saying stuff about him being there for me and-and I dunno…maybe I panicked. I just thought…sorry."

"It's alright," Carly assured her. "Look…the first day I got here, when we all got dinner, I-I _did _tell Freddie you had quit drinking. But I just told him that you had a small problem! I didn't go into any details. I just didn't want him to drink in front of you. And he said you already told him you didn't drink so it really wasn't a big deal."  
"And he believed you?"

"I assume so, he hasn't brought it up since."

"Okay," Sam sighed. "Okay then…I-I guess I _was _just being paranoid. I mean, now that I think of it, that little speech he gave me was really no different than the junk he came up with in high school. He was probably just all emotional because he apparently had some sort of fight with _Sarah_."

"He did?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "And so this morning he bought her _flowers_. God, do you know how _sick _that was, watching him buy flowers for his wife who's cheating on him."

"I thought we established yesterday that she wasn't cheating," Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"No, we established we couldn't prove it and that I shouldn't say anything to Freddie," Sam corrected. "I still say she's a dirty cheater."

"Well…fair enough," Carly conceded.

…

A few days later, Sam sat at the front desk of the dance studio, going through the registry of students signed up to take her new class next season. Her stomach was rumbling but she knew if she didn't finish this up, Madame Lucille would have her head.

Lauren didn't have class today so Freddie wouldn't be coming by which meant she would be on her own for lunch.

Her and Freddie seemed to have come to an unspoken agreement not to bring up what Freddie had said the other day, which she was thrilled about.

Sam stretched her arms up above her head, looking out the window to the deli across the street where she would soon be able to get her favorite ham sandwich.

Suddenly, though, Sam saw two people walking along the sidewalk in front of the deli.

Sam instantly recognized the woman as Sarah.

Her fists clenched just from thinking about her.

But then Sam realized that the man she was standing with was the same man she had seen her with the other night!

_Calm down, there's nothing to get excited about_, Sam told herself, though still watching them. _There's nothing cheaty about going to get lunch together. She just better get her butt away from the deli. I'm starving and I do __**not **__want to run into her when I go and-_

Sam let out a soft gasp.

Sarah had just leaned up and kissed the man on the lips.

_Okay, that's __**definitely **__cheat worthy! _Sam told herself. _That's got to be proof enough for Carly! Ha! I knew it! I __**knew**__ it!_

But then, Sam's smile suddenly fell as she realized that Sarah was now staring straight across the street into the dance school's window.  
Right at her.

_She knows I saw_, Sam slowly thought. _She knows I know…_


	12. Chapter 12

Sam felt her heart stop. She quickly looked back down at the desk, but she knew it was too late.

Sarah had been looking right at her.

What was she going to do now? Was she going to cross the street and come over?

That option seemed to fade for her, though, as one of the classrooms opened up and a stream of students poured into the lobby.

Sam knew Sarah wouldn't dare come over with so many people and make a scene, so she allowed herself to look back across the street.

Sarah and the man were both gone.

Sam didn't know whether to feel excited that she had been right about suspecting this or sorry for Freddie.

_Oh man…Freddie_, Sam thought to herself. _He-He's gonna be crushed. He was too naive to even realize anything was happening and now it's just gonna hit him like a freight train_.

She had to tell Freddie as soon as she could…it was like taking off a Band-Aid, wasn't it? The sooner she broke it to him, the sooner it would be over.

And the sooner he could get himself away from that monster of a wife…

So the second her last class of the day finished Sam was out of the school before most of her students had even left the classroom. She drove quickly to Freddie's house, pleased to see only one car in the driveway when she arrived.

_Good, I beat her here_, Sam thought as she rang the doorbell. _Now all I have to do is tell Freddie before she shows up and-_

"Sam?" Freddie said, surprised, as he opened the door. "What are you doing here? Not that this isn't a great surprise," he added quickly, letting her inside.

"Um, Freddie?" Sam said, taking a deep breath as she walked in. She felt her stomach tighten as she spotted the tulips Freddie had bought for Sarah sitting in a vase on the coffee table. "Um…listen. You-You remember that talk we had the other day. You know, about us still being there for each other during the hard times even though we haven't seen each other in years."

To her shock, Freddie looked a bit _pleased _that she had suddenly brought up their talk that they hadn't mentioned in days.

"Yeah, yeah I remember," Freddie said, almost eagerly.

"Oh," Sam said, a little taken aback by his reaction. "Good…well, see, that-that's why I'm here. There's something I-I sort of need to talk to you about. And-And it's-"

"Sam!" Lauren suddenly exclaimed happily, running into the room and throwing her arms around her. "Are you staying for dinner? Are you?"

"Oh, um…" Sam said lamely, figuring it would be a bit awkward to hang around once she broke the news to Freddie. "I…"

And then she stared down at Lauren. The small girl was so innocent…she probably didn't even know what it _meant _to cheat on your husband.

_I can't tell him now_, Sam realized. _Not with Lauren here. I-I can't just blurt out that her mom is cheating on her dad. She shouldn't have to hear it like that…_

"Yeah, you should stay," Freddie said brightly. "I made meatloaf. It's the vegetarian kind but if you put enough sauce on it, you really can't tell the difference."

"Um, okay," Sam agreed.

"Great," Freddie smiled. "Now then, um…Lauren, go watch T.V. Sam, why don't we go into the kitchen. You can talk to me there and-"

He was interrupted, though, as the front door open and Sarah walked in.

"Sarah?" Freddie frowned. "Honey, what are you doing home so early? It's Thursday, you're never home before ten on Thursdays."

For a moment, Sam and Sarah's eyes locked. And if Sam had thought they were cold and empty looking before, that was nothing to how the looked now.

"I made some time to come home," Sarah said, not taking her eyes off of Sam. "Hello, _Sam_. How nice to run into you here."

How Sam _yearned _to be able to give her one swift punch straight to the jaw. It was almost as if she was taunting her now, _daring _her to say what she saw in front of the five-year old.

Sam didn't see what other choice she had…

She turned to Freddie. "Um, I-I just remembered. I have plans tonight. I can't stay for dinner."

"Oh," Freddie frowned, looking genuinely disappointed. "Oh, um, well I-I'll see you around then."  
"Thanks for stopping by," Sarah said in a sickly sweet voice.

"How come Sam can't stay?" Lauren asked sadly.

"Oh sweetie, don't worry about it," Sarah said, scooping her up. "Come on, let's go get you ready for dinner."

Sam quickly left the house, not trusting herself to look at Freddie one last time before she did.

When she reached her own apartment, she was fuming. She hadn't felt hatred this strong in so long…

"I was right!" she announced as she stepped into her home, where Carly was busy making dinner.

"Um…about?" Carly frowned.

"Sarah cheating on Freddie," Sam said.

"Oh, Sam," Carly said, rolling her eyes. "Please don't tell me you're still dwelling on-"

"I saw her kissing the guy, Carly!" Sam snapped.

Carly's eyes widened. "You _what_?"

"Yeah, right outside her daughter's dance school," Sam said, shaking her head. "Classy, right?"

"Oh my God…" Carly said softly.

"I know," Sam said. "And, well, Sarah knows I know."  
"How?" Carly exclaimed. "You didn't go up to her, did you?"

"No," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "She saw me watching from the window."

"Oh no," Carly sighed.

"Yeah, and so when I went to tell Freddie-"

"You-You went to tell Freddie?" Carly frowned.

"Yes!" Sam nodded. "Anyway, I went to tell him but-but Lauren was home. I didn't want to bring it up around her. I mean no kid wants to hear about her parents cheating. And then Sarah herself walked in…So I couldn't tell him today, but that chick better get her bags packed tonight, because once I tell him-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Carly said, shaking her head. "Sam…you-you're not still planning on telling him, are you?"

"What? Of course I am!" Sam said. "You think it's right for Freddie to just stay together with this woman when she's seeing other men behind his back?"

"No! I don't!" Carly said firmly. "But do you realize how delicate of a situation this is?"

"Which is why I need to tell him!"

"What are you going to tell him, Sam?" Carly said. "Huh? You think you can just march up to him, tell him his wife is cheating on him and have him just accept it?"

"But it's the truth," Sam pointed out.

"That doesn't mean Freddie's just gonna believe it."

"Why wouldn't he believe me?" Sam frowned. "I'm his friend, aren't I? I told you, just the other day he gave me a big speech about what how he wants us to be as close as we were back in Seattle!"

"But Sarah's his _wife_!" Carly said. "They have a child together. And-And I hate to say it, Sam, but in these situations, the word of a wife trumps the word of a friend."

"Well-Well then I'll give him something more than my word!" Sam countered. "We'll get pictures or something or we'll track down the guy."

"No, Sam," Carly said firmly. "We can't do that."

"Carly, back in high school you _lived _for this sort of thing!" Sam said, aggravated.

"Yes, but I'm not in high school anymore," Sam said gently. "And neither are you. You-You have more important things to deal with than this. Look, the whole point of you moving here to Texas was for you to get a fresh start so you can move on from-"

"So then what do you want to do?" Sam snapped. "Just pretend Freddie's marriage is fine? You want to just force him to live through that-that lie when we could be doing something to help him?"

"I care about helping him," Carly said. "But you know what, Sam, right now I care more about you and what's happened to you these past six months. I hate that Freddie is so blind that he can't see who his wife really is, but Freddie's not the one I had to walk in on to find-"

"So you want to just ignore this whole thing?"

"Sam," Carly said, calming down. "You're not in a position right now to involve yourself with unnecessary drama. Freddie, he-he can still see the light. If Sarah and her mystery man aren't afraid to go out in public, maybe he'll run into them one time."  
Sam said nothing.

"I don't want to see Freddie suffer," Carly told her. "But I can't stand to see you possibly getting hurt by the backlash. You've-You've been through enough."

Sam still said nothing.

Carly stepped over and put her arms around her best friend. "Focus on you right now," Carly said. "You owe it to yourself. And-And to him."

…..

Freddie tried to act pleasant throughout dinner, but he couldn't deny that he was the tinniest bit upset that Sarah had come home unexpectantly.

Sam was about to tell him something important, and by the sound of it, it was _finally _going to be about what happened to her six years ago.

But Sarah's presence must've killed her nerve.

"Daddy and me built a huge fort out of the couch cushions today," Lauren told her mother. "And we played castle in it. I was the queen and daddy was the dragon that I had to get past to escape from!"

"That's nice, honey," Sarah said simply, nibbling at her dinner.

"And then daddy let me paint his toenails," Lauren said, giggling as though it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. "I painted them green!"

Freddie smiled as he looked down at his feet where, beneath his socks, were in fact freshly polished toenails. Hopefully he'd remember to take the stuff off before he went somewhere important. But then again, it wouldn't be the first time he forgot.

One of Lauren's favorite things to do was paint Freddie's nails for some bizarre reason. Freddie figured it was because Sarah always seemed too busy to do it with her and would instead got expensive manicures from the salon and would yell at Lauren if she even thought about messing her nails up.

It didn't bother him, though. It was worth it to see Lauren's face light up.

"Do I have to eat the rest of my vegetables?" Lauren asked, looking at her pile of carrots with disgust.

"Sweetie," Freddie started. "You know you have to-"

"No," Sarah cut him off. "It's fine, Lauren. Go off and play."

Freddie gave his wife a strange look. She usually insisted Lauren eat every single vegetable on her plate.

"So," Freddie said as Lauren hurried out of the room. "How'd you manage to come home early? I don't think we've had dinner as a family since the night-"

"Why was Sam here?" Sarah said at once.

_This again_? Freddie thought to himself, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"She came by to talk," Freddie said.

"Talk about what?" Sarah asked quickly.

"Don't know," Freddie shrugged. "She left before she told me anything. You only got here a few minutes after-"

"I don't want her in this house ever again," Sarah said firmly, crossing her arms.

"What? Sarah!" Freddie said. "You can't ban her. Look, I get it. You don't like her. She's my friend not, yours and all that other stuff you said the other night. But just because you don't like her doesn't mean I can't be friends with her."

"Really?" Sarah said, raising an eyebrow. "Well…I ran into her today, you know."

"You did?" Freddie said. "Where?"

"I went to grab a salad between two meetings this afternoon," Sarah told him. "And when I got to the salad place, Sam and that Carly girl were in line. They were facing the counter so they didn't see me come in. I-I was going to go say a polite hello and then get my food and head out, but, well…they were talking about me!"

"Talking about you?" Freddie repeated.

"They-They were saying the most horrible things," Sarah said shakily. "They-They said things like how could I ever have managed to get someone as great as you when I'm just a low-life _bitch_."  
Freddie frowned. "Sam and Carly said that?" He would've never imagined the two saying anything like that.

"Yes," Sarah nodded, wiping her eyes. "And they said they couldn't see one reason why we were together. They called our marriage a sham! And then…then they said they would love it if-if you would _leave _me."

"_What_?"

"Yes!" Sarah cried. "Don't you see? That's why I don't want either one of them around you! I-I don't know what sort of things they're capable of! Who knows what they would do to try and make that actually happen. Or-Or what crazy stories they would try and feed you about me."

_There has to be a mistake_, Freddie thought to himself. _There's no way Sam and Carly would say those things. Not even if they hated Sarah…_

"Sweetie, that's horrible," Freddie said slowly. "But-But is it _possible _you didn't hear them right? If it was in a restaurant you might've heard one thing and thought it was another."  
Sarah's eyes narrowed. "So you don't believe me? You have more faith in two girls you haven't seen in years than you do your _wife_?"

"No!" Freddie said quickly. "It's just…okay. Okay, _fine_. I-I won't have Sam and Carly around here anymore."

"I don't want you around them anymore either," Sarah said. "Not if they're gonna try and spread lies about me."

"Sarah…"

"Freddie, _promise _me!"

Freddie sighed. He didn't want to break contact with Sam and Freddie _twice_. But at the same time…Sarah was his wife.

_Well, this won't be the first time I lie to her_, Freddie told himself, thinking about all the meat he snuck into the house over the years; all the times he let Lauren do things that she would never allow, like baking cookies.

_I don't want to fight with her_, Freddie thought. _But I can't lose Carly and Sam again either_..._With the amount Sarah works, I can definitely still manage to see them at least a little without her finding out._

"Okay," Freddie said heavily.


	13. Chapter 13

For the next few days, Freddie found it hard to see Sam and Carly at all.

Sarah was suddenly spending more time than ever at home. She was home every day for her lunch break and made it back just in time for dinner. Her usual meetings and mountains of paperwork that usually kept her until past midnight seemed to have vanished. Freddie wondered why his wife was so…_present_, but he didn't question it. He had wanted this for years, hadn't he?

The only time he was able to see Sam was when he took Lauren to dance class. But there, Sam seemed very hesitant around him. She would tell him she wasn't hungry when he suggested their usual lunch outing and for the entire length of Lauren's class, she barely said a word as she sat at the front desk.

She had been so close to opening up to him, too…now it seemed they were back where they started.

"Daddy?" Lauren said one morning after Sam had left for work. "Why does mommy not like Sam?"

Freddie frowned as he picked up the breakfast dishes. "Who says she doesn't like Sam?"

"She was talking to herself when I walked past your room this morning," Lauren replied. "Daddy, what's a bitch?"

Freddie's eyes widened and he dropped the dishes, causing a loud crash.

"Lauren!" he said firmly. "We don't say that word! Ever!"

"Why? Is it a bad one?"

"Yes!" Freddie said. "A very _bad _one. I don't want to ever hear you say that word again, you understand me?"

"But what does it mean?" Lauren asked.

"It…It's a very mean name for someone you don't like," Freddie said.

"So mommy _doesn't _like Sam then," Lauren concluded. "Why not?"

"Er…mommy-mommy was probably just in a bad mood this morning, sweetie," Freddie explained. "And didn't mean what she said."

"So she doesn't hate Sam?"

"Um…she-she…hey, I have an idea? Why don't you go get your Treasure Hunt game and we can play a few games after I clean up this mess," Freddie suggested, hoping to divert his daughter's attention.

Lauren beamed. "Really?"

"Yeah," Freddie chuckled. "Really."  
"Can you call Sam and ask her to come over so she can play with us too?"

"Oh, um…Sam-Sam's busy," Freddie lied lamely.

"Aw man," Lauren pouted. "I love Sam."

…..

"-And Lucille will blow her basket if the Intermediate class doesn't have their routine for the rehearsal down pact," one of Sam's fellow dance instructors told her as the two sat at the front desk. "So make sure you run it with them during their class today."

"Got it," Sam nodded.

"And did you hand out costumes to your last class?"

"Yup," Sam nodded. "And I told them they need to bring them next lesson so they can get used to dancing in them."  
"Good," the teacher smiled, getting up. "I've got to go start setting up in studio C. I'll see you later, Sam."

"Bye, Kate," Sam said, turning back to the computer on the desk, looking at the time.

It was ten minutes until Lauren's class started. Her and Freddie would be arriving any minute, and Lauren would then rush over to her so she could quickly put her hair in a bun before class.

As much as Sam had once loved Freddie's company for the one hour (and sometimes longer) he would be at the dance school, it was not becoming harder and harder for her to sit there and not say anything to him about Sarah.

She knew Carly was right. It wouldn't do her any good to get involved. Freddie would side with Sarah; she was his _wife _after all. Her word was nothing against hers. The thought of him staying with her still made her sick to her stomach, but, well, maybe it was just best to let Freddie live in blissful ignorance.

"Hi Sam!" Lauren said, running into the school, her usual smile etched upon her face.

"Hey," Sam grinned. She then noticed that the child's hair was already in a neat bun. "Whoa…did your dad do that? Last time he tried I think he nearly made you bald."  
"Mommy did it for me," Lauren told her.

"Oh," Sam said, her face falling. "Oh, well, that's-that's nice."  
The door to the school opened again and Sam expected to see Freddie walking in behind his daughter.

Instead, though, it was Sarah.

"Alright, hurry into class," Sarah told Lauren. "You don't want to miss anything."

"Okay," Lauren obeyed, running into her classroom and leaving Sam and Sarah all alone in the lobby.

"Um, well…I-I have some work to do in…somewhere," Sam said lamely, getting to her feet. "You can just sit there until Lauren's class is done and-"

"Stay," Sarah said, swishing her hair back and planting her hands on her hips. "We need to chat."

"I don't think so," Sam said coldly.

"I think we do," Sarah said firmly, stepping in front of Sam.

She was much taller than Sam, but Sam didn't allow herself to be intimidated.

"You're going to stay away from Freddie," Sarah said, glaring down at Sam.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I don't know who you think you are, but I'm not going to let you come in here and destroy my family," Sarah said, her voice deathly quiet.

"Odd, I thought it was cheating that destroyed a family," Sam said smoothly.

Sarah narrowed her eyes. "I have everything you don't, don't I? I'm married to your high school sweetheart, I have a successful career, perfect daughter…And what do you have? Nothing."  
Sam clenched her fists. "Shut your mouth," she said, willing her voice not to shake.

"Freddie will never believe you, you know," Sarah smirked, pleased to see the effect she was having on Sam. "Even with your pathetic sob story."

"Excuse me?"

"You think because your life's a wreck after you got yourself attacked you'll somehow reel Freddie in?" Sarah scoffed.

Sam's eyes widened. So Freddie _did _know about that…

"You'll never get him back," Sarah continued. "He loves me. Not you."

"You don't deserve him!" Sam hissed.

"Well I have him anyway, don't I?" Sarah said simply. "Now…you're going to stay away from Freddie. Or I _will _make your life a living Hell. You don't know what I'm capable of."

"You don't scare me," Sam said at once.

"I will," Sarah said. "Stay away from my family. Or you _will _regret it."  
Sam said nothing.

"Glad we had this chat," Sarah said, her voice dripping with false sweetness. She turned and sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs, pulled her laptop out of her bag, and began to type away.

Sam stood there for a moment, furry and anger coursing through her veins, before she turned and walked away.

…..

For the entire duration of Lauren's class, Sam stayed in an empty classroom, making herself seem busy by cleaning the room while she fumed about Sarah.

_I should've shown her who'd regret what_ she thought to herself, polishing the ballet bar. _I should've punched her right in her smug face…_

But Sarah had a point when she said Freddie wouldn't believe her; and she knew if she were to lay a hand on Sarah, Freddie would be furious. Though she didn't know how much that mattered anymore…she didn't see how she was going to manage to see him anymore with Sarah so set on keeping it from happening.

_Why can't Freddie open his eyes_? Sam thought sadly. _Then we wouldn't have this problem._

When she heard Lauren's class finally being released, Sam waited for a few more minutes before heading back into the lobby where Sarah was thankfully gone.

Sam tried to push the woman out of her mind. Carly was right, after all. She didn't need to deal with this right now.

She sighed and rested her head in her hands. _I shouldn't even have to be here_, Sam thought. _I should be at home, back in Washington where I wouldn't have to be dealing with Freddie's problems because he can't see them for himself…Freddie wouldn't even be crossing my mind. And-And I'd still have-_

She looked up, suddenly, as, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something underneath the chair Sarah had been sitting in earlier. She stood up and saw that it was her bag; the corner of her laptop sticking out.

Part of Sam wanted to take the computer out to the parking lot and run over it with her car several times. But the other part of her…the other part of her was still desperate to get Freddie to open his eyes.

_Maybe if she has something on there…old emails, pictures, __**anything**__, I can get them to Freddie and he'll see what kind of monster he's married to!_

The second part of her mind won over her first fairly easily, and Sam quickly retrieved the laptop and opened it up.

There were several folders all across the desktop. Most seemed work related, containing what looking like housing forms and foreclosure documents. One folder, though, stuck out to her. It was in the bottom left corner and labeled 'taxes'. It seemed too simple…did anybody really have their taxes neatly organized in a folder like this four months before they were due?

Sam opened up the folder and as she suspected, there was no trace of any tax documents. There weren't, however, pictures of her and her mystery man or saved love emails or anything of that nature, as she had been expecting. Instead there were several legal documents. Sam quickly pulled one open and scanned through it.

"Transferring of monthly funds until the child is eighteen years of age or legally emancipated from primary caregiver…" Sam read to herself. She pulled up another document and instantly recognized it from her textbooks back in law school.

"Child Support forms…" Sam whispered. She quickly scrolled to the bottom. "Three thousand dollars will be deposited at the agreed upon date each month into the account of Sarah Jessica Benson from the account of Mitchel Stellings until Lauren Sophia Benson is eighteen years of age…"

Sam looked through the rest of the documents…there was one of Mitchel Stellings signing away custodial rights to Lauren, several bank statements from a private account in Sarah's name, and Stellings medical forms.

"Oh my God…" Sam said, her eyes widening. "Freddie isn't Lauren's father."


	14. Chapter 14

Sam sat in her parked car outside of the dance school, Sarah's laptop on the seat next to her.

_She's been letting Freddie believe Lauren was his child while she's sat back and collected fat child support checks for years_, Sam thought to herself.

Sarah was evil. It was plain and simple.

_It's sick_, Sam told herself. _To let someone go their whole life thinking he's raising his own child when he's actually raising someone else's…_

Now, though, Sam had actual proof that Sarah was cheating on Freddie. However this no longer just involved the two adults. It now brought in a child.

She knew Freddie would be beyond crushed to find out Lauren wasn't his. She _knew _how much he loved her; she could see it in his face whenever he would even talk about her. And she knew how much it would hurt to have Lauren suddenly snatched away from him.

She felt a lump in her throat as she looked down at her keys, where a red and yellow lanyard hung, worn and faded.

She _knew _it would destroy him.

Even though it would kill her, perhaps just stepping back and letting Freddie live the rest of his life believing Lauren was truly his child would be the best.

But then again…one day he just _might _find out, and it would probably hurt even more then. What if Lauren got sick and needed a bone marrow donation or even a _kidney _from a biological parent?

Sam sighed as she leaned back in the drivers seat.

Should she tell him and bring his world crashing down? Or should she let him live a lie?

She stared out the window, regretting looking in Sarah's laptop in the first place.

_Would I want to know_? Sam asked herself.

Sam sat in the parking lot for several more minutes, letting the weight of the decision fester. And then, taking a deep breath, she started her car and began to drive.

…..

When she arrived at Freddie's house, she found that Sarah's car was parked in the driveway.

_Dang it! _Sam thought. _I can't just barge in there and tell him with her right there! _

She didn't know what to do now…should she just and wait for Sarah to leave? That could take hours.

But almost as if by fate, Sam saw the front door of Freddie's house open and Sarah walked out. Sam ducked down in her seat, watching as Sarah got into her car and drove off.

Sam waited a moment before she sat up again.

_It's now or never_, she told herself.

She parked her car where Sarah's was, grabbed the laptop and headed to the door.  
She tried to calm herself down as she knocked, but her stomach still felt like it was in knots.

Freddie opened the door a moment later, looking quite surprised to see her.

"Sam?" Freddie said. "Er, hi. What-What are you doing here?"

Sam shifted nervously. "I have something really important to tell you, Freddie."

"Oh," Freddie said. He looked down the street, almost as if he was afraid he was being watched. "Well…come in."  
"Is Lauren home?" Sam asked softly.

"Yeah, but she's upstairs," Freddie replied. "Sarah wants her room cleaned."

"Can we-Can we talk out here then?" Sam suggested, wanting to avoid having Lauren overhear this conversation at all costs.

"Um…are you sure you wouldn't rather-"

"No," Sam said at once. "Out here. Please. It's-It's better if we talk out here."

"I-Okay," Freddie agreed. "What's on your mind?"

Sam hesitated for a minute before handing Freddie Sarah's laptop. "Sarah, um, left this at the dance school today while she waited for Lauren's class to finish."

"She did?" Freddie said. "Huh, that's strange. She usually never lets this thing out of her sight. Well…I'll give it to her. Wait, that-that's not what you wanted to talk about…_was _it?"

"Not-Not exactly," Sam said heavily. She looked right up at Freddie's eyes; the eyes that could make her forget what she was she going to say at the drop of a hat back in high school. Maybe it was just her nerves, but they seemed to be working their magic now as well. She quickly looked back down. "Freddie, I-I went through her laptop."

"Huh?" Freddie frowned. "Sam, I don't understand…why would you do that."

"I wanted to get proof," Sam said softly.

"Proof?" Freddie repeated. "Proof for what?"

Sam braced herself. "Freddie…she's cheating on you."  
Freddie's eyes widened. "_What_?"

"She's cheating on you," Sam said again. "I-I saw her with another man one night and a few days ago I saw her kissing that same man right outside the dance school."

"Sarah-no," Freddie said. "No, Sam. Sarah wouldn't cheat on me. We're-We love each other.

"Freddie, it's true," Sam said gently.

"No, it's _not_," Freddie said. "Sam, I think I know my own wife."

"Freddie, she's never around!" Sam pointed out. "She has you on such a tight leach that she practically controls your every movement!"

"That doesn't mean she's _cheating_!" Freddie said his voice rising.

"She _is_," Sam insisted. "And-And it must have been going on for awhile now…"

"And why do you say _that_?" Freddie asked, crossing his arms. "I _love _my wife. And she loves me, okay? We have a perfect life together here and we have a perfect daughter together who-"

"No you don't!" Sam blurted out. "Lauren's not your daughter, Freddie!"

Freddie nearly dropped Sarah's laptop in his arms. "She-She's not-That's a _lie_! Of course she's my daughter!"

"No, Freddie, she-she really isn't," Sam said, trying to ignore how angry Freddie was starting to look. It was unlike she had ever seen him. "Sarah's been getting child support paper from Lauren's real father ever since she's been born. Every month some guy named Mitchel Stellings deposits three thousand dollars into a secret account. Look on her computer! In a folder labeled 'taxes'. Everything's there, you can see for yourself! It's all-"

"I don't need to see anything!" Freddie yelled, catching Sam by surprise. "Lauren is my _daughter_. I am her _father; _I have been ever since Sarah got pregnant with her!"

"Just look at the folder-"

"I don't have to look at _anything_!" Freddie said. "How-How can you-Sarah was _right_!"

"What?" Sam frowned.

"All this time…" Freddie said softly, shaking his head. "All this time I've been giving you the benefit of the doubt!"  
"Freddie?" Sam said, slightly startled. "What are-"

"You really _are _trying to ruin my family, aren't you?" Freddie said, his voice deathly soft.

"No!" Sam said at once. "No, I'm trying to _help _you!"

"How? By telling me these lies?" Freddie snapped. "By telling me I'm not the father of my own daughter?"

"I-"

"She was right," Freddie said again. "You-You came here to Texas so you could find me and do this."

"No I didn't!" Sam exclaimed.

"Your own life is so messed up that you wanted to mess up mine, too," Freddie continued. "You're alone! You're-You're a washed up alcoholic who has to have her best friend come down to take care of her still!"

Sam felt as though Freddie had struck her with a knife.

"Well guess what, Sam!" Freddie yelled. "_My _life happens to be great. Not everyone's is as pathetic as yours!"

Sam stepped back, speechless.

"Just-Just leave me alone," Freddie said. "I wanted to help you, I really did. I _tried_. But I'm not going to listen to this."

And with that he slammed the door in her face.

Sam stood there for a moment, stunned, before she quickly ran back to her car.

She had tears in her eyes and couldn't get the words Freddie had just hurled at her out of her head.

And they hurt her, she knew, because they were true.

_I shouldn't have told him_, Sam thought to herself as she wiped her eyes. _Now this is just one more thing I've screwed up on. _

Sam started her car, still feeling as though she had been slapped, and began driving down the street to the liquor store.

…..

Freddie slammed his door shut, absolutely fuming. He set Sarah's laptop down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch, trying to calm down.

_How dare she, _Freddie thought angrily. _How __**dare **__she come here and tell me those lies about an innocent five-year old. Sarah was right about her all along…_

Freddie glanced at Sarah's computer. There was nothing on it. Nothing at all, other than her work stuff.

"Daddy?" Lauren said, coming downstairs. "I cleaned my room. Can we play now?"

Freddie stared at her. Her long red hair and hazel eyes were all Sarah. So were her small earlobes, her button nose and her dimples. Freddie couldn't see any of him in Lauren's physical appearance. He knew this; but plenty of kids didn't look like one of their parents and they were still theirs.

"Daddy?" Lauren said again. "Daddy, let's play!"

Freddie silently picked her up and hugged her tightly in his arms. How could anyone suggest that she wasn't his when she fit so perfectly in his embrace?

"Daddy? Why are you acting weird?" Lauren asked.

"I love you," Freddie whispered, kissing the top of her red head. "So much, sweetie."

"I love you too," Lauren said. "Now can we play?"

"Just-Just a minute, okay?" Freddie said. "I'll be up in a little bit. Go get some coloring books."

"Alright," Lauren said.

As she went back up to her room, Freddie's gaze fell back down to the laptop.

_There's nothing on there_…he told himself firmly. _Why even humor her accusation by looking?_

Still, though, an odd, curious feeling boiled inside of him.

Slowly, Freddie sat down and picked up the computer. _I __**should **__check to make sure Sam didn't mess with anything on here_, he figured.

So he opened up the laptop, immediately spotting the folder Sam had told him about; the one marked 'taxes'.

_It __**is **__kind of weird she has a bunch of tax stuff saved here when we have an accountant, _Freddie thought. _But hey, maybe Sarah just wants to get things in order for him…_

So he clicked on the folder, expecting to find W2 forms, lists of deductibles…but he didn't.

Instead there were dozens of forms Freddie didn't recognize. He clicked on one and scrolled through, hardly able to understand all the legal jargon. But at the very bottom, he saw Sarah's name. And Lauren's. And a Mitchel Stellings. Just as Sam had said.

Freddie quickly pulled up another form, which was just as confusing to understand as the first. So was the third. But when he pulled up the fourth, he felt his heart stop. He only needed to understand one line of this form. The line at the top that read '_Biological Father: Mitchel Stellings._'"

"There-This isn't-no…" Freddie said, feeling as though the room was caving in on him. "No…there's got to be a mistake. There _has _to be a mistake."

Lauren was his daughter. _He _had been in the hospital room when she was born. He had cut her umbilical cord. _He _had taught her to walk and how to talk. _He _read to her every night before bead, knew that she liked strawberry milk better than chocolate milk and that she was afraid of the dark. He had comforted her when she broke her arm slipping in the tub last year and told her that thunderstorms were just giants bowling up in the sky.

He's the one that loved her more than anything in the world.

His whole body shaking, Freddie stood up. The laptop fell from his lap to the floor, but he didn't care. He went up to Lauren's room, where the child was patiently laying on the floor in front of her favorite coloring book.

"You ready to color, daddy?" Lauren asked brightly.

Freddie picked her up again, trying not to think about how similar her and Sarah looked.  
"I have to go on an errand," Freddie said, his voice deflated and broken. "I'm going to drop you off down the street with Ms. Barrows. You can play with Mackenzie there."

"Where are you going?" Lauren asked.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," Freddie said. "Don't worry…Everything will be okay."  
Freddie headed out of the room, grabbing Lauren's hairbrush with several long, red strands stuck to it as he passed the dresser.


	15. Chapter 15

"Hey," Carly said as Sam stormed into her apartment. "How was work? Oh, and thinking tomorrow you and I can go look at wallpaper samples for your bedroom and-"

"Here," Sam said, thrusting the brown bag containing a single bottle of wine at her best friend. "Take this."

"Sam!" Carly gasped. "You-You didn't…"  
"I didn't drink it," Sam snapped. "I was gonna but-but I couldn't do it."

"Oh," Carly said. "Oh, well…Sam, that's good. It shows that you have self-control and-"

"Do me a favor and spare the lecture, will you?" Sam said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not in the mood!"

"What happened?" Carly asked, uncorking the wine bottle and immediately dumping the contents down the sink .

"I talked to Freddie," Sam mumbled. "And well, you were right. He didn't believe me."

"Oh Sam," Carly sighed, setting down the empty wine bottle and hurrying over to her. "I-I know this seems bad, but-but maybe-"

"It's not getting fixed," Sam said firmly. "You didn't see his face…and he said things…I-I guess he was angry but-"

"Maybe if I go talk to him," Carly said. "I can tell him that you were only trying to help. I mean I'll tell him that _neither _of us think Sarah's as perfect as he thinks and maybe he'll be a little more receptive hearing it coming from two people instead of just-"

"It's not only about Sarah anymore," Sam said heavily, eyeing the empty wine bottle, almost wishing she hadn't shown restraint earlier and gulped the contents down while she could. At least she wouldn't feel this bad…

"What do you mean?" Carly asked, confused. "What else is it about?"

"Lauren," Sam said. "She-She's not Freddie's daughter."  
Carly's eyes widened. "No!"

"I guess Sarah's been cheating for awhile," Sam nodded. "She sort of left her laptop at the school and I-I looked on it."  
She paused for a moment, waiting to see if Carly would badger her about that, but Carly seemed too anxious to hear the rest to care. "So what did you see?"

"She's been getting child support payments from Lauren's real father for years now," Sam said. "I've seen all those forms before…all those law books I had to read…it was all there. She-She had Freddie's name printed on Lauren's birth certificate, there's forms where Lauren's real father signed his rights away…"

"That's horrible," Carly said softly. "She's been letting Freddie think that Lauren was his own child her whole life."

"Yup," Sam said. "And, well, Freddie didn't take the news well. He-He didn't believe a word from me. Kept saying I was just jealous that-that he had a perfect little family while all I had was an alcohol problem and-and _nobody_."  
Carly shook her head. "Sam…Freddie wouldn't have said that…he didn't know-"

"What does it matter? It's _true_!" Sam said, her voice cracking. "I have _no one _anymore."

"You have me," Carly said softly, pulling Sam into an embrace. "And-And I promise Sam, we'll fix this."

….

Freddie parked his car outside a small office building. He had been here only once before, when his company had been designing a webpage for the place.

Never, in a million years, did Freddie think he would be back.

Freddie hurried inside, spotting a man who he faintly recognized from last time at the front desk.

"Sorry," he said, not looking up. "We're just about to close up for-hey. Hey, I know you…you're the guy who designed out webpage…Benson, right?"

"Yes," Freddie nodded. "Um, listen, I-I need a favor. You guys do paternity tests here, right?"

"Sure," the man nodded. "We do all sorts of DNA checks here."

"How long do those usually take?" Freddie asked.

"Not too long, we don't have to send out DNA samples anymore," the man replied. "We have the equipment right here. They take about two days to finish up."

"I-I can't wait two days," Freddie said, his hands shaking. "I need-I need to get results today. Is-Is there _any _way to speed up the results?"

"I, well, _yes_," the man said slowly. "But-But it's against procedure to do it. It costs a lot more…we only permit rushes like that if there's a time sensitive case and there's a court order."

"I'll pay you anything you want," Freddie said quickly. "I-I'll get you tons of free advertising on every other website I ever design. I'll do _anything_."

"Mr. Benson," the man said. "I-I'm afraid-"

"Please," Freddie said, his voice dripping in desperation. "This is important. I need to get the results of this paternity test now. _Please_."

For a few moments, the man simply stared at Freddie. And then, Freddie's desperation seemed to sink in for him.

"Do you have the DNA samples?" he sighed.

"Yes," Freddie said, pulling out two plastic bags. One with Lauren's long, red locks from her hairbrush and another filled with his own hairs. "Right here."

The man nodded. "It will take me three hours to have the results. That's the absolute quickest I can do this."

"That-That's fine," Freddie said. "Thank you."

And then Freddie sat in the office for the longest three hours of his life. He felt as though time had stopped and he was currently just sitting in a period of perfect stillness.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, which was close to bursting with pictures of Lauren.

Sarah always told him he should just scan them into his computer and clean out his wallet, but this was one of the few times he thought technology just wasn't the answer.

He smiled down at the picture that had been taken just moments after Lauren had been born. She was wrapped up in blankets laying peacefully in his arms and looking up at him.

There was a picture of him pushing her on the swing, her long hair flowing behind her.

There was one of her on the first day she started ballet, one of her in the pool, one of her riding the carousel that she had been so afraid of at first, but wound up loving in the end.

But as he flipped through every picture, the lack of resemblance seemed to grow clearer.

_How can she not be my daughter_? Freddie thought. _She's my __**everything. **_

Finally, the three hours had passed and Freddie was drawn out of his daze by someone clearing his throat.

Freddie looked up and the man was back, holding a white envelope.

"Here are your results," he said gently.

Freddie tore open the envelope and Freddie scanned the pages.

"I-What does this stuff mean?" Freddie frowned, looking at several weird diagrams and medical terminology. "Were the samples a match or not?"

The man slowly shook his head. "No," he said. "There's-There's absolutely no biological relation between the owners of the samples."

Freddie felt as though the floor had been taken out from underneath him. He fell back into his chair. He thought he might throw up.

"Are you alright, Mr. Benson?" the man asked, concerned. "Do you want me to call anyone?"

"No," Freddie said weakly. "No there's…there's no one."

Freddie didn't know how he managed to make it home. But he did, and when he arrived back at his house, Sarah's car was in the driveway once more.

"Freddie? Where have you been?" Sarah asked as he stormed in. "I've been calling you for hours? Where's Lauren? Where did you-"

Freddie didn't say a word as he thrust the envelope containing the paternity test results into her hands.

Sarah looked startled. "What is this?"

"Read them," Freddie hissed, taking a tone that sounded foreign to him. "And then you tell me."

Sarah looked through the papers. She looked back up at Freddie, her eyes wide. "Freddie," she said, her voice quivering. "Freddie, this-this isn't what it seems-"

"How long," Freddie said, feeling as though he might burst from the mixture of anger and sadness inside of him. "Were you _planning _on letting me think she was mine?"

"There-There was never a reason…you-you loved her like she was your own-" Sarah started.

"That's right!" Freddie roared, causing Sarah to step back in surprised.  
Freddie had _never _raised her voice to her before.

"I love her!" Freddie yelled. "I still do! But you know what? She's not my child! You-You-How _could _you? Do you know how _twisted _this is?"

"I'm sorry," Sarah whispered. "I-I never…I didn't want you to find out. I-I knew it would hurt you like this-"

"No," Freddie said, shaking his head. "No, you're not sorry. You're _never _sorry, Sarah! You cheated on me six years ago when you got pregnant with Lauren and you know what? You've been cheating on me ever since, haven't you?"

"No!" Sarah said. "That-Sam told you that, didn't she? _Didn't _she? I _told _you! She'll tell you any lie to try and-"

"There's only one person lying here, and it's you!" Freddie yelled. "I should've known…late meetings every night of the week. Business trips every other weekend…I-I was too naive to even…I-"

"_Please_," Sarah said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Freddie, let-let me explain-"

Freddie pushed her hand off of him. "Don't. Don't you try and justify this! Don't you try and make yourself think that what you've done is okay! It's _not_! You're _disgusting_! You're _evil_ and _cruel _and _heartless_! You're a-_monster_!"

Sarah narrowed her eyes. "How dare you."

"How dare _I_?" Freddie exclaimed. "Everybody was right about you! Sam…Sam saw right through you!"

"So this is it?" Sarah said, her voice cold and empty. "You're going to let that bitch come between us."  
Freddie clenched his fists as he stepped closer to Sarah. "Never," he whispered. "Say that about Sam Puckett _ever _again. You'll be lucky to ever become half the person she _is_!"

And with that he spun on his heel and headed towards the door. He pulled back his fist and punched the plaster of the wall, eager to vent his feelings on _something_, and then walked out of the house, cradling his bleeding fist in his hand.

…

**AN-Hey guys, glad you've been liking the story so far! **

**There's just something I really want to bring up. This isn't meant to call anyone out; I just want to address it because it really goes far beyond the scope of some silly fanfiction story. **

**The world's a twisted place. It would be great if more people were understanding about the tragic events that some people are forced to go through, but that certainly is not the case. It would be great if we could all assume that women support other women who are forced to go through what Sam has in this story (the number of REAL people who have gone through it, men and women alike, is astounding), but unfortunately, not all of them do. It's not just a few outliers either, a good amount of women blame other women for their attacks. I did not just put in the bits about Sarah telling Sam to get over her rape to exaggerate Sarah's character as an easy way to show how mean she was. Women blaming other women for their attacks and not being supportive is not something I just created for this story. It's not some hyped up phenomenon I made up. It happens, more often then you would believe. If any of you individually have not met women like this or have heard of this, you are very fortunate to be surrounded by such people. But I assure you, this is a very real issue, NOT something made up for drama for the sake of this story or to make you guys not like her (though I suppose Sarah saying what she did in the story didn't make you love her).**

**Again, I am not saying this to call anybody out. I don't mean to make anybody feel bad; I tried to say all this in the nicest way possible because, like I said, this really does happen a lot. It shouldn't; it's disgusting for anybody of any gender to blame a victim for his or her attack. But unfortunately, it happens. **


	16. Chapter 16

Freddie had never been this angry in his life. He had never felt such pain or heartbreak either.

It was as if the most important thing in his life had just been ripped from him. Well, it _had _been ripped from him. In less than four hours he had, for all intents and purposes, lost his daughter.

He didn't know what to do now…How were you supposed to go on living when there was suddenly a huge gaping hole in you?

He looked up. He didn't know how long he had been walking through the streets, but he had somehow wound up here.

In front of Sam's apartment.

And suddenly, on top of all the pain he felt because of Sarah, he remembered the cruel words he had flung at Sam just hours earlier, and the feeling intensified.

Well, he had nowhere else to go…

He walked into the lobby, spotting a list of residents by the mailboxes. Sam was apparently up on the third floor.

So with a heavy heart, he set up the stairs. When he reached her apartment, he stood outside the door for a full minute before knocking at her door.

Sam opened the door a crack, looking thoroughly surprised to see him standing there.

"What are you doing-what are you doing here?" Sam said softly.

"You were right," Freddie said simply, barely even recognizing his own voice. "Lauren…I-I'm not her father."

Sam said nothing as she opened her door wider for him to step inside.

"I'm sorry," Freddie said, his voice shaking. "Those things I said…I-I didn't-"

Sam shook her head. "It's okay. You-You don't have to apologize. It-It was a lot for me to just throw at you…Um, here, you-you probably want to sit down."  
She led Freddie into the living room. Freddie had never been inside Sam's apartment before. He looked around, trying to see if it was what he would've expected. It was pretty organized (no doubt the work of Carly), but there were still a few boxes strewn about.

"Carly's in the shower," Sam said as Freddie sat down. "Do-Do you want anything? To eat or to-"

"No," Freddie sighed. "No, I-I'm fine."  
Sam gave him a sad smile. "Are you really?"

Freddie shook his head. "No…God, I-I just never thought…how can I not be her dad? I love her so much."  
Sam looked down at her lap. "Does-Have you talked with-with Sarah?"

Freddie nodded. "She-She tried to keep on lying. How could I have never seen this? How could I have let Sarah lie to me for six years? _How_ could I have been so blind?"

"Don't beat yourself up," Sam said. "It's-It's not _your _fault. You're not the one who lied."

"I'm the one stupid enough to believe all the lies," Freddie mumbled.

He glanced over at Sam's coffee table. In the center there was a picture frame containing a picture of Sam holding a little boy who looked no older than two on her lap.

Just then the bathroom door opened and Carly stepped out, running a towel through her damp hair.

"Freddie?" Carly frowned, clearly not expecting to see him there. "Hi, what-what are-"

"You know already, don't you?" Freddie said. "About Lauren…"

"Well, yes but-"

"Well it's true," Freddie said. "I have the paternity test to prove it."

"Freddie…" Carly said gently. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," Freddie said. "So am I. I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. I'm sorry I believed every lie that's come out of my wife's mouth for the past six years. I'm sorry I was such a moron. I'm sorry for all of it."  
"The only moron is Sarah, Freddie," Carly said. "Don't-Don't go thinking any of this was on you. You did _nothing _wrong."

"What are you going to do now?" Sam asked quietly.

Freddie leaned back in his seat. That was a good question.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I-I can't let Lauren go. Even if she's not my child by blood, she's still my daughter."

"Of course she is," Carly nodded.

"But-But I don't know if I can ever go back to Sarah," Freddie said. "But-But I almost _have _to if I want to see Lauren. I mean, staying married to her would be the only way I could see her, wouldn't it? If-If I leave Sarah, she'd take Lauren with her and I couldn't do a thing to stop her."

"That's not necessarily true," Sam said. "There's cases all the time where children go to someone other than a biological parent. Judges award custody to whoever they will have the best interests of the child. You've been Lauren's primary care giver her whole life. _You _didn't lie about Lauren's parentage for five years. There's a really good chance you could be awarded even full custody. If you can get a lawyer who knows their stuff it shouldn't be that hard."

Freddie pondered this. He still couldn't grasp his head around the idea that he was even considering divorce when just yesterday he had been under the illusion that his life was perfect.

"Sam…" he said slowly. "If-If I decide to go through with this…If-If I really decide to leave Sarah…will you go to court for me for Lauren?"

Sam stared at him. "You-You want-"

"You used to be a lawyer," Freddie said. "If I go through with this…If I want to keep Lauren in my life without Sarah there too…I need someone who can fight for me in court. I need someone I can trust. And I trust you."

Sam looked stunned. "I-Yes," she said. "Yes, I-I'd help you."

"Thank you," Freddie said. He let out a deep breath. "I still…it's just so-I don't even know how to _describe _it."

"It's-It's probably still sinking in," Carly said. "Look, why don't you stay here tonight? You can clear your head and then in the morning maybe you'll feel a little less…blindsided."

"Yeah, you can crash here as long as you want," Sam nodded.

"Yeah, um, thanks," Freddie said. He ran his hand through his hair. "I just can't-it's like this huge part of me was ripped out."

Sam didn't reply. Carly looked over at her and didn't say anything either.

"I mean…one minute I have a daughter and I'm her father and the next she's-she's gone," Freddie continued.

The girls were both silent, but Freddie hardly noticed.

"My child," Freddie whispered. "She's gone."

"N-No," Carly said. "No, she's not gone Freddie. Sam's right, the courts will-"

"Even if I can still have custody of her, there's still going to be something missing," Freddie said. "I lost my child…do-do you have any idea how that feels like?"

And that's when Freddie caught sight of Sam. Silent tears were streaming down her face.

"Sam?" Freddie frowned. "Sam, what's-"

But Sam was up out of her seat and heading towards her stairs.

Freddie turned to Carly for some sort of explanation.

Carly sighed, wiping her own eyes.

"What-What just…is she-" Freddie started, but Carly simply shook her head.

"Freddie, I know you've been through a lot today," she said. "I don't have any idea how you must be feeling. You-You should get some rest, though. You look horrible. I'll go get you some pillows and blankets."  
"Carly," Freddie said. "What did I-"

"Just try and get some rest Freddie, and then we can figure this all out tomorrow," Carly said gently.

…..

Freddie knew he wouldn't get any sleep that night. He kept taking out his wallet and staring at the pictures of Lauren.

He tried to tell himself this wouldn't change anything. Even if Lauren wasn't his daughter biologically, she would still be his little girl. But deep down he wondered…would that really be the case?

Of course it would, he realized. After all, he couldn't _force _himself to love her any less.

It was quite late when he suddenly heard footsteps from upstairs coming down. He sat up as he saw Sam descend the stairs.

She was wearing old sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt and even in the darkness Freddie could see that her face was streaked in tears.

She didn't seem to notice he was awake. She walked right past him into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before turning back towards the stairs.

"Sam?"

Sam stopped in her tracks and turned towards Freddie. "Did I wake you?" she whispered.

"No, I-I couldn't fall asleep to begin with," Freddie said.

"Yeah…me neither," Sam said.

Freddie sat up on the couch, giving Sam room to join him.

When she sat down next to him, the two of them sat in silence for several minutes.

"Sam, I really didn't mean those things I said earlier," Freddie said. "I shouldn't have said them. I was just…shocked."

"I know," Sam said. "And I mean, you didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"No, Sam, they weren't true," Freddie said.

"Sure they are," Sam said hollowly. "I'm can't even trust myself to take a sip of wine anymore, Carly doesn't trust me to even take care of myself lately and I _am _all alone."

"No," Freddie whispered. "You're not an alcoholic. You're stronger than that. You _quit_. And Carly…well, she was always one to hover over people she cared about. And you're not alone, Sam. You-You have me."

Sam didn't reply.

Freddie's eyes landed on the framed picture on the coffee table again. He reached over and gently picked it up.

"Is this your nephew or something?" Freddie asked, trying to break the silence.

The Sam in that picture, he realized, was the Sam he had left in Seattle. The Sam whose smile could light up a room and whose eyes could captivate you from a mile away.

The Sam who he had only been seeing slivers of since she came to Texas.

"No," Sam whispered, not meeting his gaze. Freddie saw a few fresh tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Who is he then?" Freddie asked.

Sam closed her eyes. "My son."


	17. Chapter 17

"Your-Your-Your _son_?" Freddie said slowly. "I never knew…I never knew you had a son, Sam."

Sam nodded, tears falling onto her lap by this point. She quickly got to her feet.

"His name was Conner," she whispered.

And with that, before Freddie could even open her mouth to stop her, Sam hurried back upstairs.

Freddie looked back at the photograph.

_Her son_? he thought to himself. _Why has she never mentioned him before?_

But then, something hit Freddie.

_Did she say…Did she say his name __**was **__Conner?_

…..

Sam let out a sob as she reached the top of the stairs.

_They said it would get easier_, Sam thought miserably. _They said I'd start to feel better after awhile. Well its been six damn months and I still feel like- _

"Sam?" Carly said softly, sticking her head out of the extra bedroom she had finished setting up yesterday. "Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam shook her head as she stepped back into her own room.

"Sam," Carly said, following her. "Sam, talk to me."

"When is this going to stop, Carly?" Sam asked, tears still cascading down her face. "When am I going stop feeling like I've just been punched in the gut every time I even think about Conner?"

"I-I don't-"

"I want him back, Carly!" Sam cried. "I just want my baby back! He was _four_!"

"I-I know you do," Carly said gently. "I know-"

"But I can never get him back!" Sam said bitterly. "Because he's _dead_! The only good thing that has ever happened to me is _gone _and he's never coming back!"

Carly didn't say a word as she wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"It's not fair," Sam continued to cry. The same mantra she had been repeating for two years. "It's _not _fair."

"No," Carly agreed. "It's not. But-But Sam, even though I don't know when or if you're _ever_ going to recover from this, you'll start to accept one day. You have to. Conner-Conner wouldn't want to see his mother suffering and living like this."

"Freddie knows," Sam whispered.

"He-He does?" Carly said.

"I just went downstairs," Sam mumbled, taking the tissue Carly handed her. "He-He saw Conner's picture in the living room and asked me who it was. I-I just told him it was my son, but now-now he's going to be asking questions."

"Sam?" Carly asked softly. "Do you want me to go talk to him?"

Sam sighed as she stared up at her best friend; the person who seemed to have suddenly gotten so strong when she was at her weakest.

She knew she couldn't bring herself to answer any of Freddie's questions without breaking down completely.

"Yes," Sam whispered. "Please. I-I _can't_."

Carly nodded. "Try and lay down, Sam. It's been a long day."

As Carly left the room, Sam stepped over to her closet, picking up the cardboard box that rested on the floor.

She carried it back to her bed and sat down and opened it.

She pulled out a small blanket decorated with balloons and teddy bears. She held it up to her face. It still had that baby smell.

She picked up a stuffed monkey who had so many stains on it that it looked as though it had been through a war zone.

"Mommy misses you, sweetie," Sam whispered as she laid down clutching the blanket and the monkey. "So, _so _much."

…

Freddie was up and pacing, still staring at the picture of Sam and the little boy who was apparently her _son_.

_How could she have had a son this whole time and she never mentioned him_? Freddie wondered. _Why wouldn't she have said anything about-_

"Freddie?"

Freddie looked up to see Carly standing at the foot of the steps.

"Carly, since when does Sam have a son?"

Carly said nothing as she walked over and sat down on the couch.

"Carly, why-why has no one even mentioned her son?" Freddie asked, sitting down beside her.

"Freddie," Carly said. "Remember that night you called me, and I told you-I told you that Sam didn't just come here for a new job?"

"Right," Freddie nodded.

"Well," Carly said heavily, looking at the picture. "Conner's the reason she had to leave."

Freddie frowned. "What-What do you-I thought the reason was because-because she was attacked six years ago."  
Carly looked up at him. "How do you know about-"

"I searched around on the Internet," Freddie admitted. "After you told me about Sam's old drinking problem. And-And I found the police report that said Sam was beaten and raped and found in some alley."

"Oh," Carly said softly. "I-I should've known…Well, yes, after that attack she was…she was in a dark place. She blamed herself. She had just won some big case in court and she had to stay late one night to do all the paperwork that came from the case. We were roommates then…I knew she was going to be late so when I went to bed and she still wasn't home, I-I didn't worry. But then the next morning when I woke up she still wasn't back. And that's when I noticed that I had a message on my phone. It was from the hospital…I guess you know how bad she was hurt already, don't you?"

"Yes," Freddie said softly, trying not to think about the injuries he had seen listed in that police report.

"Well, like I said, she blamed herself," Carly continued. "Even though I kept telling her it wasn't her fault. She said she shouldn't have taken a shortcut through that alley. That she should've been able to beat off her attacker, and that she shouldn't have been working so late. It-It was horrible. We went back down to Seattle for a little bit to stay with Spencer…he really tried to help her too. He-He even went looking for the guy who hurt her. But he never found him. No one ever did. But then after a month, just as Sam was finally starting to get back on her feet…she-she found out she was pregnant."

Freddie's jaw dropped. "From-From-"

Carly nodded gravely. "I felt terrible for her. It was just like one hit after another for her. At that point we really expected Sam to go downhill…but-but she didn't. She surprised everybody. When she found out she was pregnant at first she was disgusted. But then…then she started to become _excited_. She-She said that it was _her _baby, not his, and she wasn't going to let him ruin this for her. So she moved into her own place. She went back to work and started getting ready for her baby. And eight months later Conner came around and-and Sam was _so _happy; happier than she had ever been. Conner was the best thing to ever happen to Sam. He lit up her world…he lit up everybody's world, really. He was such a great kid…always smiling and laughing. He was Sam's whole life. But then, when-when Conner was about two years old, Sam started to notice something was wrong with him. He had always been so full of energy, but suddenly he tired out after playing for only a few minutes. He kept getting really high fevers and complaining about body aches. And he'd get bruises all over that Sam couldn't figure out how they got there. So she took him to the doctor and-and Conner was diagnosed with Leukemia."

"No," Freddie whispered, his hands clenched so tightly together that his knuckles were turning white.

"It broke Sam's heart," Carly said sadly, wiping her eyes. "But-But she was so _determined _to make sure he got better. She quit her job as a lawyer so she could dedicate every second of her time to Conner. She flew him all over the country for treatments, got him all the best care. For awhile, we thought he was going to fight it. But then…then they told Sam that the cancer cells in Conner's body were spreading too rapidly to be treated. They-They gave Conner eight months to live."

Freddie felt his eyes welling with tears.

"Sam fought," Carly went on. "She told the doctors they were wrong and that Conner could beat the cancer. But in the end she realized…she realized they were right. So-So Sam did the best she could to make Conner as comfortable as possible. She kept hoping he would pull through, though. She said he was full of surprises. But…six months ago, it-it happened. Conner died, right in her arms. The doctors told Sam it was peaceful for him, but it still didn't make Sam feel any better."

Freddie didn't reply. He didn't think he could. Sam's child had _died_? As empty as he felt about finding out Lauren wasn't his, at least he still knew she was there. At least he could still hug her and hold her in his arms.

"That's when Sam started drinking," Carly continued. "She-She didn't know how else to cope with losing Conner. She didn't go back to work. She only left her house to go buy more alcohol. I was worried about her, but-but I didn't know what to say. I had no idea what she was going through. I thought maybe it was just a grieving stage…that'd she snap out of it soon. But after a few months I realized she-she wasn't going to stop on her own. I tried to get into treatment programs but she refused to go. I-I was barely seeing her sober at all anymore. If I would take her bottles, she'd just go out and buy more. And then…then, about one month before she came here…I went to go stop by her place again to check on her. I was knocking at her door for almost ten minutes but she wasn't answering. I ran and got her key from her super and let myself in and-and Sam was…"

Carly had to pause to wipe her face. She was almost shaking.

"Sam was passed out in the middle of her living room," Carly told him. "She-She had taken a bottle of pills and washed them down with vodka. I called an ambulance and they pumped her stomach and-and they saved her. When she came to I-I asked why she had tried to kill herself and she-she told me she just wanted to see Conner again. That's when I knew she couldn't stay there anymore. I made Sam promise me she would stop drinking. It was the first time she had been sober in months and-and I think she could tell by how I looked that if she killed herself, she'd be hurting me too. So she promised to quit. When she got out of the hospital she moved in with me for a little bit. I told she needed to go somewhere else…that if she kept living there, she'd never be able to accept Conner's death. So I-I found out the dance school here had a job opening. I helped Sam put together her application and résumé and, well, she got the job. But more importantly…she was going to get a fresh start."

Freddie was silent, too stunned to speak.


	18. Chapter 18

At six-thirty that morning, Freddie neatly folded the blankets he had used, put a pot of coffee on for Sam and Carly, and quietly slipped out the front door.

He had plenty to think about as he walked towards his home.

He didn't know how he'd ever have the courage to move on if anything happened to Lauren. Would he fall into the bottle like Sam did? But more importantly, would he have the strength to pick himself back up?

When he reached his house, he simply took a moment to stand at the edge of the driveway. This is where he thought everything had gone right.

This is where he thought he had it all. Funny how things can change in a blink of an eye.

Freddie let himself into the house where he heard voices coming from the kitchen.

"Daddy!" Lauren exclaimed happily, pushing aside her cold porridge and running over to him. "Where were you? Mommy had to pick me up from Mackenzie's house."

"I had something important to do, honey," Freddie said gently. "Listen, we're going to have some fun today. Why don't you go get dressed?"

"Okay, daddy," Lauren beamed.

Freddie wondered if he'd still get to keep that title now…

As Lauren hurried off, Freddie turned to face Sarah. She was staring at him, already dressed in her work clothes.

"Where did you stay last night?" Sarah asked softly.

"Do you care?" Freddie asked.

Sarah looked down. "You weren't supposed to find out."

"What? That you've been cheating on me all throughout our marriage? No, I probably wasn't," Freddie shrugged. "But I did."

"Why are you here?" Sarah sighed.

"To take care of Lauren," Freddie said. "She might not be my child biologically but she's my daughter and I love her. Were you going to stay home from work to watch her today?"

"I was going to drop her off at a sitter's."

"I'll take her," Freddie said.

Sarah sighed. "What do you want? Everything's out now."

"I don't know what I want for us yet," Freddie said firmly, trying to keep his voice down. Lauren could come back down any minute. "But I do know that I want what's best for Lauren. And I'll make sure she gets what's best for her, no matter what."

Sarah said nothing. For once, she was speechless.

"I'll drop Lauren back off tonight," Freddie said. "What time will you be home? Or do you have some _meetings _lined up?"

"I-I'll be home at eight," Sarah whispered. Freddie noticed she was crying. But he found that strangely, he didn't even care.

"I'm ready, daddy," Lauren announced, coming back into the kitchen.

"Alright," Freddie nodded. "Say bye to your mom."

"Bye, mommy!"

"Bye, Lauren."

Freddie turned to step out, but as he did, Sarah opened her mouth.

"Freddie?" she said. "Can we…can we talk sometime? Obviously-Obviously there's some stuff that we need to discuss."  
Freddie sighed. "Tomorrow afternoon."

Sarah nodded. "Alright."

"What are we going to do today, daddy?" Lauren asked as the two left the house.

Freddie smiled. "We're gonna go see Sam."

"Really?" Lauren gasped.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded.

Freddie hoped Sam wouldn't mind him bringing Lauren over like this, but he really did want to try and keep up Lauren's normal routine. Besides, Sam really seemed to like Lauren. The few glances of the Sam he had known back in Seattle always came when she was in the child's company.

Maybe Lauren reminded her of Conner in someway.

"This is where Sam' lives?" Lauren asked as Freddie led her up the steps of the apartment building.

"Yes," Freddie said. Before he stepped into the lobby, though, he kneeled down so he was at eye-level with Lauren. "Now, sweetie…I know you're excited to see Sam, but she might seem a little…_sad _today. Just be a good girl and be on your best behavior like you always are."  
"Why's she sad?"

"Sometimes…sometimes people have to deal with really hard things," Freddie explained slowly.

"How come?"

"That's just the way life works sometimes," Freddie said. "It's not always fair."

Freddie held Lauren's hand as they climbed up the stairs and knocked at Sam's door.

Sam opened up at once.

"Hey…we-we were wondering where you went," Sam said.

"I just went to pick up Lauren," Freddie replied. "Do you mind if she stays here with me for a little bit? Sarah's at work after all."

"Oh, um, yeah," Sam nodded as Freddie and Lauren walked in. "Yeah, that's cool."

"Hi, Sam!" Lauren said. "I like your house."

Sam grinned. "It only looks like this because Carly over there has been having the time of her life decorating it."

"Yeah, well…" Carly said modestly from the kitchen table where she was sitting.

Freddie watched as Sam headed to the fridge. She looked a little better than she had last night, but Freddie could still see the circles under her eyes.

"I have some juice if you want, Lauren," Sam said. "You like fruit punch?"

"Uh-huh."

Sam silently took out a glass and poured her some. "Here you go."  
"Um…hey, Lauren?" Carly said, looking quickly from Sam to Freddie. "You wanna come watch some T.V. in the other room with me?"

"Okay," Lauren agreed. Carly took her hand and led her out of the room, leaving Sam and Freddie alone.

"Does she know?" Sam asked quietly.

Freddie shook his head. "I don't even know how to tell her..."

"She seems like a tough kid," Sam whispered. "I'm sure she'll be okay."

"She will," Freddie said, stepping closer to her. "Sam…I'm so sorry…Carly, she-she told me about your son-"

"I know," Sam nodded, looking out the window above the sink.

"I didn't know-And there I was last night…bombarding you with my own problems-"

"You didn't bombard me."

"Still…you've had it worse than me. Lauren may not be my child, but she's-she's not-"

"Dead?" Sam finished for him.

"I-I wasn't-"

"Just because I have my own problems," Sam said. "Doesn't mean you can't have your own. Finding out the child you've been raising for five years isn't yours isn't exactly something you can brush off after a good night's sleep, is it?"

"Well I-"

"It sucks," Sam said simply. "You deserve to feel crushed about it."

"But I-"

"Freddie…letting me wallow in self-pity isn't going to do anything," Sam sighed. "I already tried that. It doesn't make the pain go away, it doesn't make things easier, and-and it won't bring Conner back."

Freddie didn't reply.

Sam picked up her mug of coffee and took a sip. "Have you figured out what you're going to do yet? About-About you and Sarah?"

Freddie shook his head. "I'm just so confused. I don't think I can ever forgive her. But-But I just don't know. I don't want to hurt Lauren through any of this."

Sam nodded. "Trying to hold onto something that isn't there isn't going to help her either. Just-Just really think about things, okay?"

Freddie stared at her. Here Sam was, a mountain of her own problems…and she was offering _him _advice.

Shouldn't it have been the other way around?

But then again…Sam had always been tough. Even when it seemed the deck was stacked against her.

So silently, Freddie held out his arms and pulled Sam into an embrace.

And for that moment the two broken adults just held each other.


	19. Chapter 19

Later that afternoon, Freddie sat at Sam's table with a pen and notepad.

"What are you doing?" Freddie looked up to see Sam standing behind him.

"Trying to figure out what I'm going to do next," Freddie sighed. "With Sarah and, well, everything. I thought, I dunno, I could make a pro-con list."  
"For your _marriage_?"

"I didn't have any better ideas," Freddie said glumly. He looked down at his blank chart. "I'm supposed to have lunch with her tomorrow."  
Sam nodded.

"I doubt I'll have any more of an idea of what to do then," Freddie said, tossing his pen down.

Sam gave him a small smile. "I'd try and help you out, but I'm terrible at relationships. Longest I've been in one was seven months, and that one didn't exactly end on good terms…"

Freddie let his hand fall onto the table next to Sam's. "What was he like?"

Sam looked up at him.

"Conner," Freddie said softly. "Tell me about him."

Sam bit her lip.

"I'm sorry," Freddie said at once. "I didn't mean-"

"He was perfect," Sam said. "I guess…I guess every parent thinks that about their kid, right? But he was just so sweet and innocent…And even when-even when he got sick and had to go through all sorts of treatments, he still had a smile on his face. He was terrified of the dark, though. When he stayed in the hospital I had to bring him in his night light because even the light from all the monitors hooked up to him wasn't enough for him, he said. I used to have to keep the bathroom light on for him every night before he went to sleep. He was really into jungle stuff…he had all these picture books with different animals and he loved this old stuffed monkey name Banana, only he called it 'Na-Na', because when he named the monkey when he was two, that's how he _said _banana. Oh, he liked making stuff too. You know that Clay Dough stuff? He had a _ton_. He'd make me little clay cookies and I'd pretend to eat them and he'd laugh so hard…And the kid was a chocolate _freak_. You put chocolate on anything and he'd have it finished in a second. The night before he'd go in for a treatment I'd always make him a giant mug of hot chocolate because he'd feel too sick afterwards to have anything. Plus the stuff would calm him down if he was feeling nervous and help him fall asleep…kind of like it does with Lauren, right?"

Freddie smiled. "Right."

Sam stared up at the ceiling. "Talking about Conner like _this_…not just about him dying…it helps a little."

"Good," Freddie said.

Sam sighed. "I don't think I'll ever get over him dying. I don't think I'll ever go one day without thinking about him a million times. But…sometimes I think…hey, I can still do something with myself. Other times I don't want to get out of bed, but…"

Freddie moved his hand an inch so it was now laying on top of Sam's and gently squeezed it.

"You've always been the strongest person I've ever known," he said earnestly. "And you still are."

….

The next day Freddie walked into a small café, spotting Sarah at once at the back.

She looked up as he approached her table. "I thought you weren't going to come," she said.

_Well you've been cheating on me the past six years, I think I'm allowed to be five minutes late_, Freddie said to himself, but he held his tongue.

"Well I'm here now," he said. "So…what are we doing?"

"I-I don't know," Sarah answered honestly.

"Well, I know what I want," Freddie said. "I want answers, Sarah. Real ones. I want you to, for once in our marriage, tell me the truth."  
Sarah sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Who is he?" Freddie asked. "Who's Lauren's real father? I know his name, but who is he?"

"I sold him a house six years ago," Sarah told him slowly. "And…And after, he-he kept making excuses for me to come back. He'd purposely forget to sign some forms…he'd say he needed a new copy of his proof of purchase, he'd make up some mortgage questions. It was like a game…it was _exciting_."

Freddie felt his stomach clench as he listened to his wife recount her story.

"And then one night we…we slept together, and that's when I got pregnant with Lauren. When I told him he said he didn't want a child, and-and I was a little relieved. He wasn't fit to be a father and-and with him willingly out of the picture it made it easy for me to tell you it was your baby."  
Freddie thought he was going to be sick.

After a moment, he spoke again. "Are you still seeing him?"

Sarah shook her head. "It was a fling, Freddie."

"Right," Freddie said. "But there are others."  
Sarah was silent.

"Sarah, say it to me, say it to my face," Freddie said, gripping the tabletop so tight now that his fingers were losing feelings.

"Yes, okay!" Sarah conceded. There's…There's been others."

"_Who_?"

"Mostly men from work," Sarah said, unable to even meet Freddie's eye. "We'd fool around for a little bit and then we'd go our separate ways."

Freddie could practically feel the bile rising in his throat. He had _met _most of the men Sarah worked with. He used to drop by and surprised her at work with flowers or lunch all the time. He wondered how many times he had shook hands with a man who was sleeping with her behind his back.

And then, Freddie asked the question that had been on his mind the longest now.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Sarah asked.  
"Why did you do this?" Freddie asked. "Why did you ever cheat on me in the first place? I thought we were _happy._ I thought we _loved _each other. Why did you do this?"

Sarah sighed. "I-I was stupid…I wanted something more. I thought the grass was greener somewhere else. Maybe it was because we got married young…I don't know."

"Then why'd you stay with me all these years?" Freddie demanded. "If I wasn't enough for you, why'd you keep the charade going? You didn't need me to support you; you can support yourself well enough."

"I would've left," Sarah said honestly. "I would've told you…but-but you were so good with Lauren. Every time I even thought about telling you the truth, I'd see you two, laughing and playing together…I didn't want to end that."

Freddie nodded. _Well, at least she had some decency…in a twisted sort of way, that is._

"So here we are," Lauren said. "That's everything. You know it all. Now where are we going from here. Are we…are we going to work this out? Or are we going to end this?"

She said it so casually, it was as though she was discussing the weather.

"Answer me this," Freddie said. "Truthfully. You owe me that. Do you love me?"

Sarah didn't respond for several minutes. "I-I don't think I do," she finally admitted.

"Have you ever loved me?" Freddie asked, his heart heavy under the first blow.

"I did at one point," Sarah replied. "Or, I thought I did…But what I felt towards you in college…It was something new…"

"You mistook fascination for love," Freddie finished for her.

"Yes," Sarah whispered.

"And do you think 'working through this' will do anything then?" Freddie said. "You can't generate love in therapy, Sarah. Not if you never loved the person to begin with."

Sarah wiped her eyes; Freddie took a moment to appreciate that this was the most human she had appeared in a long time.

"I never loved you Freddie," she said. "And by the time I realized that…we were too far into this."

"Right," Freddie nodded. He got to his feet. "Sarah…you gave me the best thing to ever happen to me in my life; Lauren. Whether she's mine or not is irrelevant. She's a part of my life now. And maybe it was because of that that I put up blinders and let myself believe that we were okay. I can't anymore, though. And I think there's only one thing for us to do now…"

Sarah closed her eyes. "It's done, isn't it?"

"Yes."  
Sarah shook her head. "You know," she whispered. "None of this wouldn't have happened if Sam hadn't shown up here."

"No," Freddie agreed. "So I guess it's a good thing she did."


	20. Chapter 20

"I don't know the first thing about divorces," Freddie told Sam as he sat in his usual seat at the dance school. "Other than my parents got one when I was little. But, well, I'm not about to ask either of them for advice. I think my mom would pass out if I told her I was divorcing 'Precious Sarah'."

"I never really dealt with any divorce cases when I was a lawyer," Sam told him. "I know a lot of people who did, though. Some went pretty smoothly. You deal with who gets the house, assets…things like that, you basically just divide everything up. The hardest ones are-are the ones with kids. People, they-they can turn really nasty."

Freddie sighed. "What are the custody options?"

"It depends. There's cases where one parent is awarded primary custody," Sam explained. "And the second parent will get to see the kids well, less. It could be every other weekend…it could be a few times a year; it depends on a bunch of individual things. Then there are cases where both parents still have equal custody of the child. The child is supposed to spend the same amount of time with each parent; the parents need to live relatively close for that to work out. And-And then there's cases where one parent loses custody of the child all together…"

Freddie nodded, feeling as though piles and piles of new information kept getting dropped on him. "You still feel comfortable representing me?"  
"I-Yeah," Sam said. "But like I said…I never dealt with divorce cases before. I learned about them in law school, but I dealt with criminal law."

"What was that like?"  
"It was good money," Sam said bluntly. "Only, well, when people say lawyers have no souls…those are the ones they're thinking about. Sometimes I'd luck out and catch a case where I was actually defending someone innocent, but a lot of times I was keeping people who deserved to rot in jail out of it. There was one guy who I _knew _was guilty of attacking his ex girlfriend and hurting her so badly she was in a coma for two days…and I got him out on community service."

She gave a dark chuckle. "Guess karma came around for me on that one…"  
"Don't say that," Freddie said. "You were just doing your job…"

Sam shook her head, changing the subject. "When are you going to tell Lauren?"

"Sarah and I decided I'd do it tonight when I drop her back off," Freddie mumbled. He wasn't looking forward to this.

"What are you going to tell her? Just about the divorce? Or…"

"I don't know," Freddie said honestly. "Part of me knows she deserves to know the truth. I mean…I know what it feels like to be lied to for so long. But the other half…she's just a little girl. She doesn't even understand these sorts of things yet."

"Yeah…I guess it's a pretty difficult thing to figure out," Sam said.

"Is it selfish of me to want to never tell her?" Freddie asked. "I mean…if she never finds out I'm not her father, she stays my daughter forever."

"She'll always be your daughter," Sam told him. "No matter what."

…

Freddie sat at the park later that day, his laptop open on his lap as he watched Lauren at the playground. He smiled as he watched her slide down the slide, laughing when she reached the bottom. He looked back down at the laptop and sighed.

According to the site that he was on, kids whose parents were divorced statistically did worse in school, had more disciplinary problems and had a lower rate of getting into college than children of non-divorced parents.

_Those are just random numbers they pulled out of nowhere, _Freddie thought to himself. _I mean my parents were divorced and I turned out fine…_

Still, Freddie knew how hard it would be on Lauren if him and Sarah separated. She'd be split between two parents; something Freddie knew first hand was not very fun.

If, that was, he even got to keep custody of her at all.

_Sam said it wouldn't be hard, _Freddie reminded himself. _She'll fight for me to get to keep Lauren in my life._

Still, though, Freddie couldn't help but wonder what his life would be like without the energetic, sweet, _perfect _five-year old. What would it be like suddenly waking up and not finding her in the kitchen, poking at her breakfast? What would it be like to not have the television turned to cartoons and to not have her picture books scattered throughout the house?  
Freddie couldn't even bare to think of it.

…

"Daddy?" Lauren asked as Freddie brought Lauren back home later that day. "How come you don't sleep at home anymore?"

Freddie bit his lip as he walked up the steps to the front door with her. "It's…complicated."

"Why?"

Freddie didn't answer as he opened the front door and walked into the house.

"Go ahead and get into your pajamas," Freddie said.

As Lauren ran upstairs, Freddie went into the kitchen, where Sarah was sitting. She had a small stack of papers in front of her.

"Well, I'm here," Freddie said simply. It seemed so strange that he had once thought this woman sitting in front of him was his everything; the reason of his happiness and the love of his life. "Are we going to tell her?"

"Yes," Sarah sighed. "I suppose we should get it over with. Where is she?"

"Upstairs, she'll be back down in a minute," Freddie said.

"Alright," Sarah said, making to step into the living room. "Let's wait for-"

"Hold on," Freddie said. "We can't just go out there and throw this at her, Sarah. What are we going to tell her?"

"That her parents are getting a divorce," Sarah said simply.

"She doesn't even know what the word means!" Freddie said. "And what are we going to tell her is the reason _why _we got divorced?"

"She's five, Freddie," Sarah said. "She's not old enough to ask too many questions."

"She's smart," Freddie said. "Maybe if you paid a little more attention to her…"  
Sarah narrowed her eyes. "Well what would _you _like to tell her? That you aren't her real father?"

"_Don't_," Freddie said firmly. "Don't…Sarah, I don't care what you want to say for us, but you're _not _going to ruin my relationship with Lauren. I'm the only father she's ever known. Besides, the reason we're doing this is because _you _cheated on _me _in the first place. Why don't you tell Lauren _that_?"

Sarah glared at him.

Freddie sighed. "It's not going to help Sarah to make either of us look like the bad guy here. We need to let her know that no matter what, both of us still love her. Let's just explain to her that sometimes adults realize that sometimes it's best to accept that these things need to happen instead of trying to force something that's not there."

"Fine," Sarah nodded.

The two adults walked out to the living room where Lauren, now wearing her pajamas, was playing with her dollhouse.

"Lauren, sweetheart," Freddie said, scooping her up and setting her on his lap as he sat down on the couch. "Your mom and I need to talk to you. About something important."  
"What?" Lauren asked. "Are we getting a puppy?"  
Freddie gravely shook his head. "No honey. No puppy. This is more of a serious thing that's happening between your mom and me."

"What?" Lauren asked again.

Freddie looked over at Sarah, who was staring down at the rug.

"Lauren, do you know what a divorce is?" Freddie asked.

Lauren shook her head.

"Well…" Freddie said heavily. "It's-It's something that happens when two people who are married realize…they realize they don't want to stay married anymore."

Lauren frowned. "Why not?"

"You get married because you love someone, right?" Freddie said. "So-So you get a divorce when you realize you don't love each other anymore."

"That's sad," Lauren said simply.

Freddie closed his eyes for a moment, trying to block out the image of her face, painted with innocence.

"Well, yes. Yes it is," Freddie nodded. "But…the reason we're bringing this up is because your mom and I…we're getting a divorce."  
Lauren's eyes widened. "What? How come? You love each other!"

"No," Freddie said gently. "We don't. Not like you're supposed to love your husband or wife."

Lauren looked over at her mother.

"It's true, sweetie," Sarah whispered. "Daddy and I aren't going to be married anymore."

Lauren looked devastated. "But _why_?"

"It's…It's just a few things that-that we can't work out," Freddie explained. "It has _nothing _to do with you, though. We _both _still love you very much. It's just-"

"I don't _want _you to get divorced!" Lauren said firmly.

"Lauren, sometimes it's better to-"

"No!" Lauren cried, tears rolling down her face. She hopped off Freddie's lap and ran to her mother. "Mommy! I don't want a divorce!"

"Lauren," Sarah began. "I know how-"

"No divorce!" Lauren yelled loudly as she turned and ran up the stairs.

Freddie put his hands in his head just as they heard her bedroom door slam shut.

"_That _went well," he mumbled.


	21. Chapter 21

"Lauren?" Freddie said, knocking on her door. "Sweetie, please come out."

"No!" Lauren said stubbornly.

Freddie looked at Sarah, who was standing behind him. "Any ideas?"

"No."

"Well we can't just let her stay locked in her room all night," Freddie said.

"I'll handle her," Sarah said. "Why don't _you _go back to your precious Sam's. I assume that where you've been staying lately."

"I'm not going to leave her like this, she's my daughter," Freddie said firmly.

"So what? You think I can't handle taking care of her without you? I'm her _mother_."

Freddie narrowed his eyes. "Blood isn't everything, Sarah."

Sarah simply glared back at him.

"Look," Freddie sighed, trying to ignore the anger coursing through his veins. "This is exactly what Lauren doesn't need; her parents fighting. Let's agree to sort out all our _differences_ in private and be civil in front of Lauren, okay?"

"Alright," Sarah conceded.

Freddie turned back to the doo and knocked again. "Lauren? We need to talk…you want some hot chocolate?"

Freddie heard movement in the room and a moment later the door opened a crack and Lauren poked her head out.

"Come on, pumpkin," Freddie said, pulling on a smile as he scooped her into his arms. He carried back downstairs into the kitchen and set her down at the table as he began making the hot chocolate.

"Now Lauren, this is going to be a big change," Freddie said. "We realize that. But-"

"Why don't you and mommy love each other anymore?" Lauren asked softly.

"It's complicated," Freddie said heavily. "See, sometimes things…_happen. _That's just the way life goes. It's nobody's fault."  
Sarah scoffed, but said nothing.

It took all Freddie had to hold his tongue. How _dare _Sarah act like this was _his _fault. He had been nothing but faithful to her for six years…

"It' _nobody's _fault," Freddie said again, looking right at Sarah warningly. "But your mom and I are going to do everything we can to make sure that everything for you stays as normal as possible. You're not going to have to take sides between us or anything like that. We both still love you more than anything in the world."

Lauren didn't reply.

"Do you have any questions for us?" Freddie asked gently, handing her a cup of hot chocolate.

"Do people who get divorced still live together?" Lauren asked.

Freddie slowly shook his head. "Er…no, not-not exactly, Lauren. You see, that's why I haven't been sleeping here."

"You're going to leave?" Lauren gasped.

"I'm still going to be here for you whenever you need me," Freddie said quickly. "I just won't be living here anymore."

"Will mommy?"

"Yes, for-for now," Sarah nodded. "We'll work all that out later."

"Who do _I _live with?" Lauren asked.

Freddie and Sarah exchanged glances.

"We'll work all that out later too," Freddie said. "But I _promise_, we're both always going to be here for you no matter what. We love you, and that's never going to change."

…..

Later that evening, Freddie walked back to Sam's apartment. Lauren still wasn't feeling any better about the divorce; though he supposed he couldn't blame her. What kid was ever _happy _her parents were splitting up?  
Carly and Sam were sitting at the kitchen table, eating from a pizza box when he walked in.

"Hey," he said heavily.

"Hey, how'd it go with Lauren?" Sam asked.

"Bad," Freddie mumbled.

"What happened?" Carly asked.

"She just doesn't want the divorce to happen," Freddie replied. "She's crushed, confused…I mean I'm confused myself. There's so much to figure out, especially with-with the living arrangements."

"I started looking into some things," Sam said softly. "You know, if you still want my help-"

"I do," Freddie nodded. "I really do."

Sam gave him a small smile. "Well, um, to officially start the process, there's a bunch of paperwork you'll both need to sit down and figure out. You know, stuff like assets, who gets the house…things like that. And, then for Lauren…you need to start filing for joint custody as soon as possible so it will be harder for Sarah to throw any wrenches into that."

"Where do I get this paperwork?" Freddie asked.

Sam reached for her bag and pulled out a manila folder and handed it to him. "I got them for you…I figured it'd be easier."

Freddie opened the folder and looked through the papers, seeing so many terms he didn't understand. He couldn't help but chuckle as he thought about a time so many years ago when Sam would've taken these papers and turned them into spitballs.

"I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna be lengthy," Sam said. "Divorce cases with kids always are."

"How long's lengthy?" Freddie questioned hesitantly.

"Six months at least," Sam replied. "But that's for the legal stuff. You-You can move out and everything before all that."

"Right," Freddie sighed. "I guess I should start looking for a new place then…"

"So Sarah's keeping the house?" Carly frowned. "Is it in her name or something?"

"I just figure it's easier for me to move," Freddie shrugged. "Plus…I'd rather not do anything drastic. I don't want Sarah to start giving me a difficult time with custody."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to get screwed out of everything else," Sam said.

"It's fine," Freddie said quickly. "I don't mind moving. It-It will be nice to get a fresh start. I saw some signs for an opening in an apartment building nearby. Maybe I can rent a space there while all of this is getting settled. It's only a few minutes from the house; Lauren can still visit. I mean I can't stay here forever, right?"

"Freddie, just-just don't let Sarah walk all over you," Sam said.

"I won't," Freddie assured her. "Trust me…I've done enough of that. Look, we signed a prenup before we got married. I-I never understood at the time why Sarah was insisting on it. I thought we were so in love, so why should we even bother? But, well, I guess now it's clear that she never felt the same way. But that works for me now; the finances won't be an issue. It's just Lauren. And if I have to give up my house to get her, then I'm _more_ than happy to do so. I'd do anything for her."

Freddie looked up at Sam, and he could tell she understood.

…..

The next morning Freddie let himself into his house, or his _old _house, as he supposed he should start referring to it as.

Sarah was waiting for him in the living room, all dressed and ready to go.

"I'll be home by nine tonight," Sarah said simply, picking up her briefcase.

"Where's Lauren?" Freddie asked. "How is she? Is she feeling any better?"

"I talked to her," Sarah said. "I think she's slowly starting to wrap her head around the idea."

Freddie nodded.

"She's upstairs," Sarah said before turning and heading up the door.

Freddie looked around the house, wondering when he would get around to moving out all his belongings. He shook his head. He couldn't worry about that now. He went upstairs into Lauren's room, where the five-year old was pulling on her socks.

"Hi honey," Freddie smiled.

"Hi daddy," Lauren replied, but Freddie could hear the missing spark in her voice.

"Need some help?" Freddie asked as he kneeled down to help Lauren tie the laces of her sneakers. "So we're going to head back over to Sam's house. And then when she goes to work this afternoon I was thinking you and I could take a trip to the toy store and maybe we can-"

"I don't _want _to go to Sam's," Lauren said firmly.

Freddie frowned. "Why not? You had fun there yesterday, didn't you?"

"I don't like Sam," Lauren said.

"What?" Freddie said. "Sure you do! Ever since you met her you've been saying how much you love her. Why don't you want to see her today?"  
"Because," Lauren replied. "Mommy said it's all Sam's fault you and her are getting a divorce."  
Freddie felt his fists clench. "She said that?"  
Lauren nodded. "She said if it wasn't for Sam, you and her would be fine. I want you and mommy to never ever get divorced so I don't like Sam anymore. She's _mean_."

"Honey, Sam has nothing to do with this."

"Mommy said so," Lauren said, as if that settled everything. "And mommy doesn't lie."


	22. Chapter 22

"I wonder where Freddie is," Sam said as she stared at her laptop screen. "I thought he would've been back here with Lauren by now."

"Maybe he's talking with Sarah," Carly suggested.

"Maybe," Sam agreed. "Hopefully she doesn't try to woo him back in or anything. Girls like her don't deserve guys like him."

"No," Carly nodded. "They don't. But Freddie's smart; he's not going to get fooled again. He's probably just figuring out some things about what's going to happen with Lauren through this whole thing. Speaking of that…how goes the lawyering?"

"I think this is the one time I'm defending someone who's not a total slime ball," Sam said, biting the corner of her lip. "If Sarah cooperates…joint custody's not going to be a problem. Even though Freddie's not really Lauren's father, he's still been the only father figure in her life, and removing him from her life would create a lot of stress for her."

"And if Sarah doesn't cooperate?"

Sam shrugged. "Then the fight starts. We'd point out that she's the one who hid information about Sarah's birth father for six years and that Freddie's been Lauren's primary caregiver her whole life. We're gonna have to do all that anyway if Freddie decides he wants to try for full custody of Lauren."

"Is that what he wants?" Carly asked.

"I think he's still going back and forth on it," Sam said, taking out her phone and pulling up Freddie's number. "Let me call him and see where he is. I'm supposed to be at work in an hour and if I'm late again my dragon lady boss is gonna kill me. I swear, she needs to loosen up that bun of hers; it's making her a real-hello?"

"Hey, Sam," Freddie said, picking up on the other line.

"Hey, have you picked up Lauren yet?" Sam asked. "I have some papers for you to go through before I go to work and-"

"I-I actually decided to take Lauren out for the day," Freddie said quickly. "You know, so I could talk to her more and explain a few more things about what's going to happen with this divorce."

"Oh," Sam said. "Yeah...I guess that's a good idea. Well, we can just go through this stuff tonight then."

"Definitely," Freddie agreed. "I'll talk to you later, Sam."

Sam hung up the phone, feeling a faint sense of disappointment.

"He's spending the day with Lauren," she explained to Carly.

"She must be really confused about everything happening," Carly reasoned, offering her a small smile.

"Yeah, I know," Sam nodded, turning back to her laptop. "I know…"

…

Freddie stormed into Sarah's real estate office, not even bothering to pause at the front desk, where the receptionist called after him to stop.

He hurried to Sarah's office and slammed the door open, causing her to look up from her computer, startled.

"What are you-"

"_What _did you tell Lauren?" Freddie yelled. "Why'd you tell her it's Sam's fault we're getting divorced?"

"You can't just waltz in here!" Sarah said. "I'm _working_!"

"Working on turning a five-year old against someone completely innocent?" Freddie scoffed.

"She's not innocent," Sarah said. "Haven't you noticed that all this trouble between you and me started when _she _came back into your life?"

"No, the trouble started when _you _decided to bring all your lies into this marriage!" Freddie exclaimed. "Sam's not the one who cheated on me for the past six years! Sam's not the one who let me think Lauren was my child her whole life! That was all _you_; if you want to start blaming people for this, how about you start with _yourself_?"

"If Sam never-"

"Stop using Sam as an excuse!" Freddie shouted. "You've been doing this for years before she came here! Stop using her as some sick, twisted way for you to justify what _you _did! And stop trying to turn my daughter against her!"

"Well why don't you stop treating her like she's some saint?"

"Sam is a _good _person," Freddie said, taking a step closer to Sarah. "She'd never hurt a person like you've hurt me. Even though she's been through more than you could even imagine. You'd be lucky to ever become a _fraction _of the person she is."

…..

"Sign this," Sam said, handing Freddie a piece of paper later that evening. "And then, um, you're going to have to have Sarah sign this one. Once I get these in, then we can officially start the process."

"Alright," Freddie sighed, signing the form. "I'll have her sign it when I pick Lauren up tomorrow."

"You bringing her over here tomorrow?" Sam asked.

Freddie shook his head. Lauren was still convinced that his and Sarah's divorce was the work of Sam, and Freddie didn't want Sam to be hurt by this. "I just think it's best for the two of us to spend as much as time as we can together. I-I don't know how easy that's going to be once this all gets going."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's what I would want to do too if I was in your position."

She took the papers and placed them back in the folder and tossed it onto the coffee table. "Well, that's enough for tonight. Nothing more we can do until those get in."

Freddie leaned back against the couch cushions as Sam yawned.

"Where's Carly?" he asked.

"Upstairs; she has to get some article or something in to her boss," Sam replied, grabbing the remote. "Want to watch a movie or something?"

"Sure," Freddie agreed.

As Sam turned on the television, Freddie's eyes fell onto the picture of her and Conner.

"I don't know how you do it," he whispered, not even realizing he was speaking out loud. "I couldn't…"

Sam sighed. "Sometimes I don't know how I do it either…"

She stood up and crossed the room towards the desk in the corner of the room. She slowly opened the drawer and pulled out a small, black photo album.

"I know nobody keeps actual pictures anymore," she said, sitting back down next to him. "But, well…"

She opened the book and Freddie smiled at the image of a newborn infant swaddled in a blue blanket.

"Wow," Freddie said softly.

"He was really tiny when he was born," Sam said, staring down at the picture. "Barely five pounds…"

She flipped through a few pages and stopped at the picture of Conner sitting next to a Christmas tree unwrapping a present.

"He was two here," Sam said. "He woke me up at six in the morning to open presents…Four months later was when he was diagnosed with leukemia."  
Freddie saw a tear roll down her cheek as she flipped to the last picture in the book. Conner's curly blonde hair was replaced by a shiny, bald scalp, and he had numerous machines hooked up to him as he laid in the hospital bed. He had a smile on his face, though, and his eyes sparkled up at the camera, even though they were red and dry.

"This is the last picture I have of him," Sam whispered. "You know…even with everything he went through, all the treatments and medication…he never complained. Whenever I'd come into the room after he finished a treatment, he'd still give me the biggest smile he could. And-And that's what I keep reminding myself about; Conner was only a kid, and he made it through all that. Now, I-I can make it through all of the for him, even-even if it's hard."

She wasn't crying anymore, but Freddie could still tell she was hurting. So he reached over and gently wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, not saying a word as she closed her eyes.

And as Sam drifted off to sleep, Freddie took a moment to appreciate how well she still fitted in his arms.

And for the first time in he couldn't remember how long, he fell asleep holding someone who didn't push his arms away from around her halfway through the night.


	23. Chapter 23

When Freddie awoke the next morning, Sam was still fast asleep in his arms.

She looked so peaceful; exactly as she used to look back in Seattle, when she would fall asleep at the drop of a hat in any teacher's class or during an iCarly rehearsal.

He watched her for a moment before he realized it might seem a bit _creepy _if Sam were to wake up at that moment and see him staring at her. So he slowly got up, careful not to wake her, slid on his shoes, grabbed the forms he needed to have Sarah sign and quietly left the apartment.

He hoped that today he'd have a bit more luck trying to convince Lauren that this divorce wasn't Sam's fault. As much as he didn't want to taint Sarah's image for his daughter, he was very tempted at the moment to tell her exactly whose fault it _really _was…

When he arrived at the house, Sarah was preparing Lauren's breakfast.

"You need to sign these," Freddie said simply, handing her the folder.

"What are they?" Sarah asked, not even making eye contact with him.

"The divorce forms."

"Jeez…couldn't wait, could you?"

"It will be easier for Lauren if we move things quickly instead of dragging them along," Freddie said. "If we keep putting everything off, it will give her false hope that we might be getting back together."  
Sarah pursed her lips as she opened the folder.

"What's this?" she demanded. "It says…It says you're going to be represented by _Samantha J. Puckett_!"

"That's right," Freddie said, crossing his arms. "Problem?"

"You really don't know when to stop, do you?" Sarah hissed.

"And you really don't know when to quit while you're ahead," Freddie retorted. "Sarah, when are you going to wrap your head around this? _Sam's _not the reason we're getting a divorce, no matter _what _you try and tell Lauren. _You're _the reason this marriage failed. _You_."

Sarah narrowed her eyes. "If this is how you want to play…fine."  
And before Freddie could reply, she stormed out of the kitchen and out of the house, slamming the door behind her.

Freddie sighed as he rubbed his temples. People really weren't kidding when they said divorces were hell.

"Hi, daddy," Lauren said as she came into the kitchen. She took one look at her porridge waiting for her on the table. "Do I have to eat that?"

Freddie smiled. "Nah. I'll make you some eggs."

He stepped over to the fridge and took out the carton of eggs. "So, Laur," Freddie started. "I, um, don't know if you've given any thought to what I said the other day about Sam-"

"I don't like her," Lauren said at once. "Mommy said she came here just to mess things up."

_Did mommy also tell you about all the affairs she had_? Freddie thought to himself, though he bit his tongue.

"Lauren," Freddie said. "What's going on between me and your mom…that's not Sam's fault."

"But mommy said-"

"Mommy's…mommy's wrong," Freddie said carefully.

"Grown ups aren't wrong," Lauren pointed out.

"Yes, sometimes they can be," Freddie said. "And this is one of those cases. Lauren, even if Sam would've never shown up here…this would've happened eventually. Mommy and daddy would've realized sooner or later that-that we just don't love each other. Sam didn't do anything to make us stop loving each other…we never did to begin with. Can you understand that, sweetie?"

Lauren shrugged.

"Mommy doesn't like Sam," Freddie said, choosing his words carefully. "And because of that she-she sometimes…she puts blame on her for things that aren't her fault. Mommy's just angry. And she's confused. I am too. We might be adults, but that doesn't mean we have this whole thing figured out yet; it's new to us too. Blaming Sam, even though it's not her fault, helps make things a little easier for your mom to get through. It's wrong, and she shouldn't be doing it, and-and she shouldn't be trying to turn you against Sam either."

Lauren looked down thoughtfully.

"Do you understand?" Freddie asked softly.

"So Sam's still nice?" Lauren asked.

Freddie smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, Sam's nice. Aggressive at times, sure, but she's a nice person."  
"That's good," Lauren said. "Because I never _really _hated her. I was just pretending because mommy said she was bad."

Freddie kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad to hear that. I know you love mommy but…she's not perfect. She _can _be wrong."

….

"I hate to have to leave you in the middle of all of this," Carly sighed as she sat down in Sam's living room the next day, trying to fit her clothes into her suitcase. "But I really need to get back to work. I've already used up all my vacation days from the past three years."

"It's fine," Freddie assured her. "Besides, you don't leave until Friday. We still have three more days; I really want us to try and do a few last things together. Think Sam would be up to seeing a movie or something?"

"Ask her when she gets back from the courthouse," Carly replied. "Speaking of which…are you sure you don't have to be there with her?"

"Yeah, she told me it's just a bunch of paperwork," Freddie nodded. "Oh, and she's going to start the process for joint custody of Lauren. She told me during this part it's just the lawyers that meet up; I'll have to go in soon, though. Not looking forward to _that _but, well, I'm hoping that Sarah will cooperate to get this done as soon as possible so we can move past it."

"You sure she'll cooperate?" Carly asked darkly.

_Well what more can she do? She already tried to turn Lauren against Sam,_ Freddie reasoned to himselfe. _And I haven't done anything to make her __**not **__cooperate…_

"Was she always like this?" Carly blurted out.

"Huh?"  
"Sorry," Carly said, her face reddening. "I just meant…it's none of my business. I was just wondering if-if Sarah was always…"

"Cold?" Freddie finished knowingly. "Rude? Untrustworthy?"  
"Well, um, yeah," Carly said lamely.

"Honestly…I don't know anymore," Freddie sighed. "Part of me wants to believe that the woman I fell in love with, or, well, _thought_ I fell in love with, wasn't like this. I want to believe that she was this caring person who wouldn't have ever done what she did…but maybe I was just being naive. Maybe she was always like this and I chose not to see it."

"It's not your-" Carly began.

"No," Freddie mumbled. "It's not my fault…I just wonder if I should've seen it coming."

Just then the door opened and Sam came in. She was wearing a gray dress that made her look like one of those lawyers from the T.V. shows Freddie would sometimes watch late at night while he would be waiting for Sarah to come home.

"Hey," Freddie said, getting to his feet as Sam tossed her bag down. "How'd it go? Everything in? I signed all the right forms, right? So are we ready to start this whole thing?"

"The divorce is already underway," Sam said softly, not meeting his gaze. "That-That's going to be the easy part now…"  
"What do you mean?" Freddie frowned.

Sam looked up at him. "Sarah's fighting for full custodial rights of Lauren."  
Freddie's eyes widened. "She-She's…_what_? She expects me to only see my daughter a few times a year? No way!"  
"No," Sam said shakily. "She wants you out of Lauren's life for good."


	24. Chapter 24

"She wants me out-but you said she couldn't do that!" Freddie said, his eyes wide. "You-You said-"

"She can't," Sam said quickly. "With any competent judge, that is. Freddie, this is just a stalling tactic. Sarah and whatever lawyer she found know that there's no way any judge is going to say you can't see Lauren, no matter what any DNA test says. But by doing this, she's just making sure things get dragged on as long as possible. Some old friends of mine who dealt with this kind of stuff say it's really common in bitter divorces. I can make sure it doesn't happen…it's just gonna be a headache for us from now on."

Freddie sighed, shaking his head. So much for his idea of Sarah cooperating.

"So what do we do?" he asked weakly.

"I already have the appeal date set up," Sam said. "Basically I'll spend the entire time saying how your name is on Lauren's birth certificate, you're the only father figure she's ever known, how removing you from her life would create significant stress…all the stuff I've been telling you."

She put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile. "You're not going to lose Lauren, I promise. Your wife is just making everything…difficult, that's all."  
As she removed his hand, Freddie could still feel her warmth on his shoulder. He had forgotten how soothing her touch could be at times. He returned her smile.

"My _ex-wife_," he corrected. "Might as well start getting used to the term now."

….

"Wow, you really are back to the whole lawyer thing," Carly chuckled, amused, later that evening as Sam sat at the kitchen table with her laptop and piles of papers surrounding her.

"Well I have to be…with all the crap Sarah's throwing at us now," Sam sighed. "With this loop she'll make this whole thing drag on a good year. It's gonna wind up putting Lauren through more stress than she needs too…Poor kid."

"You'll get Freddie and Lauren through this," Carly assured her. "You were a great lawyer."

"I just don't want to let Freddie down," Sam mumbled.

Right on cue, Freddie let himself into the house with the key Sam had given him earlier that day.

"Did Sarah say anything to you about filing for custody?" Sam asked at once.

Freddie shrugged. "What more is there to say? She's done it. I should've known this was coming…She was mad at me."

"Why?" Carly frowned. "I thought you were trying to make sure she had no reason to be mad at you at all."

"Yeah, well, Sarah's not exactly being _rational_ through this whole thing, is she?" Freddie said, rolling his eyes. He turned to Sam. "She's mad you're representing me."

"She knows?" Sam said.

"She read the forms," Freddie shrugged.

"Sorry," Sam sighed.

"It's not _your _fault," Freddie said.

"Well…anyway," Sam said. "I have everything ready for the appeal date next week. Unfortunately, though…joint custody is really all we can go for at this point thanks to Sarah. Trying to file for full custody like her would be stupid and useless right now."

"Yeah, I figured," Freddie said heavily. "But you know what? I think I'm okay with that."

"You're okay with having to keep in contact with Sarah after the divorce?" Carly asked, surprise.

"As much as I would love to never have to deal with her again and keep Lauren all to myself," Freddie said. "I couldn't do that to Lauren. She doesn't need to have all that confusion going on growing up and she doesn't deserve to lose her mother. I just hope that when this is all done and over with, Sarah realizes that too."

"Wow," Carly chuckled. "You don't hear about too many divorce cases where the people are mature."

"One of us has to be," Freddie replied.

"Yeah, you're right," Carly nodded. "Well, I'm gonna go do some more packing. I bought so many things here I think I'm gonna have to get an extra suitcase to bring everything back."

As Carly left the kitchen, Freddie sat down next to Sam, who was busy rifling through papers.

"You really finished everything?" Freddie asked.

"Basically. I'll just have to go over it a few times before next week," Sam answered.

"Wow, are you sure you're the same Sam Puckett who once tried to write her entire ten-page book report on _The Grapes of Wrath _twenty minutes before the start of the class?"

Sam gave him a small smile. "Hey, that was nothing. One time in law school I wrote a whole dissertation in one night."

"So why the sudden lack of procrastination?" Freddie asked, amused.

"Because," Sam said simply. "This is way more important than some dumb paper or book report. It's your daughter."

Freddie stared at her, knowing he made the right decision in asking her to represent him. After all, when Sam felt passionately for something, there was no stopping her.

"Trust me," Sam assured him. "If this was some pathetic math assignment or history thing or some God awful _Green Week _project, I'd be waiting until the absolute last minute."  
"I forgot about Green Week," Freddie said thoughtfully. "Man…I hated that. I would always get a terrible even after spending weeks working on my project. It was never _creative _enough. And then _you'd _just waltz in there with something you'd pull out of your backpack and get an A."

"Part of the reason why you _hated _me, right?" Sam grinned.

"Oh come on, you know we never _really _hated each other," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.

"I know," Sam replied. "Even though we said it all the time…I mean we even said it after we _kissed_, remember?"

How could he forget?

"I remember," Freddie said softly. "Funny, though…We said 'I hate you' after our first kiss and 'I love you' when we broke up."

"Yeah, well, I guess that's when Carly meant when she would say we were insane," Sam shrugged. She looked at her phone. "It's pretty late. I think I'm gonna get some sleep. Good night."

"Night," Freddie echoed after her as she walked out of the kitchen. As he watched her leave, he couldn't help but think about that kiss that ended in the untraditional 'I hate you'. Even though the exchange had been anything but ordinary, he could still remember the intense, overwhelming, _exciting_ feeling he felt after it.

That feeling, he slowly realized, had been missing all throughout his marriage…

…

"-And so based on the ruling of Mahogany v. Graywood, it's completely unreasonable to remove a child from the custody of an individual simply because of biology," Sam said the next week during the appeal as her, Freddie, Sarah and the scowling man who was representing her sat in a judge's office at city hall. "Based on the plaintiff's reasoning that she only wants to remove Lauren from my client's custody because she's not biologically related to him, we'd have to go round up all adopted kids and send them back to their birth parents. Also, the plaintiff had no problem with the custody arrangements for the past five years even though she alone knew that my client wasn't her biological father. This is all just some disgusting scheme for Ms. Benson to try and make this situation even worse instead of focusing on trying to move things along as smoothly as possible to make things easier for her daughter; something any _competent _parent, biologically related or not, would want."

"Your Honor, Ms. Puckett is badgering my-" Sarah's lawyer began, but the elderly judge raised his hand, silencing him.

"Ms. Puckett, you are not an expert and cannot validly state any facts about Ms. Benson's parenting skills," he said lazily.

"Sorry, I thought the lack of them was pretty clear," Sam said smoothly, and Freddie had to hold back a snigger. "But since I'm _not _an expert, I have two professionals outside who _are _who experts who will argue that removing Lauren from my client's custody will result in significant stress and-"

"There's no need," the judge said. "Mr. Crawford, I'm surprised you even attempted to have this defense brought in. I am not simply about to have a child remove from the care of the only father she has ever known simply because he is not biologically related to her. I'm throwing out this _deplorable _request unless you can bring me clear-cut evidence that shows me the child would be in direct harm staying with Mr. Benson. Otherwise I suggest you and your client start the work to sort out a joint-custody proposal."

"Of course, your Honor," Mr. Crawford nodded.

"Alright, we're done here until then," the judge announced, getting to his feet. "I will see both parties in two months to go over the others aspects of this divorce."

"You were _amazing_!" Freddie whispered to Sam, giving her a quick hug as the judge left his office.

"Probably should've held my tongue a little more, but, well…I figured I'd have some fun," Sam grinned. "I told you, there was no way any judge was going to let her take Lauren from you. Hey, I've got to go tell those therapists I brought in that they don't have to come in here after all. I'll see you in a few…"

As Sam left the office, Freddie looked across at Sarah, who was glaring at him.

"I can't believe you sunk that low," Freddie said quietly. "You tried to take Lauren away…I realize you-you don't love me. But don't you at least love _her_?"


	25. Chapter 25

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay here?" Freddie asked as Sam helped him make up the bed in her spare bedroom that had previously been occupied by Carly. "I could get a hotel or get a jump on finding a permanent place."

"Dude, for the millionth time, it's fine," Sam said. "Carly's back home and this room is just gonna sit here empty and unused now. Might as well get my money's worth out of it."

"Well, thanks a lot," Freddie said. "You've really been saving my butt lately."

Sam smiled. "Consider it repayment for all the food I mooched off of you in high school. Anyway, I've got to get to work…"

"It's Sunday, I thought the school was closed," Freddie pointed out.

"It is, but all the teachers have to come in and go over final things for the rehearsal coming up," Sam replied. "I shouldn't be long though. I was gonna pick up some fried chicken for dinner, that good with you?"

"Still your favorite meal?" Freddie grinned.

"Of course," Sam nodded. "Apparently there's a really good place a couple of blocks down from the dance school I've been meaning to try out."

"Well sounds good to me," Freddie said.

"Cool, so, um…you have your key if you wanna leave or something," Sam said. "Um…T.V.'s downstairs…That's pretty much it. I'll see you when I get back with the fried chicken."

"If you don't finish it on the way back, right?" Freddie chuckled.

Sam laughed. "Right."

…

"Ms. Puckett?" the judge who was overseeing Freddie and Sarah's divorce trial said, coming into the office where Sam was waiting for him. "My assistant said you needed to see me? You have any concerns about the coming proceedings?"

"Um…sort of," Sam nodded.

"Was there something unclear in the files I had emailed to you today?" the judge asked.

"No, everything made sense," Sam said softly. "It's just…you have the final ruling of custody to be on March 4th…"

"That's correct," the judge nodded.

"Yeah, and um…there-there's no possible way to change that, is there?" Sam asked, looking down at the floor. "Push it back a week or move it forward?"

"I have a very tight schedule, Ms. Puckett," the judge told her. "Is there some sort of emergency that has come up that make it impossible for either of the clients to appear that day?"

"No," Sam sighed. "Freddie can make it…It's just…I-I was supposed to be away that day."

"For?"

"It's personal," Sam mumbled.

The judge pursed his lips. "I am not one to just rearrange my schedule for personal conflicts, Ms. Puckett," the judge said. "Unless you have a documented reason why you cannot attend the ruling, the date stands. If you don't plan on being here, I suggest you give your client adequate time to find someone who _will _be."

Sam swallowed hard and took a deep breath. She couldn't let Freddie down, but it was going to break her heart…

"No, I'll be here," she said shakily.

When she left the courthouse, she hurried into her car, slamming the door shut. She put the keys in the ignition but didn't start the engine. She let out a soft sob as she rested her head on the steering wheel.

She wanted to go back to Washington on March 4th…she _needed _to go back.

March 4th was Conner's birthday…he would've been five this year.

She had been planning on going back to Washington for that one day to sit by the small tombstone where she had to watch her son being buried months ago. She hated it in that graveyard, yet it was one of the places where she really felt connected to Conner.

It was just one of those cruel, ironic twists of fate.

Sam slid out her phone and pulled up Carly's number, hoping her best friend would still be able to offer her some guidance even from afar.

"Hello?" Carly answered on the third ring.

"Hey," Sam said quietly. "You settled back in Washington?"

"Yeah, I'm actually just finishing up some articles for the magazine right now," Carly replied. "What's up? How goes the divorce?"

"It's off to a good start I guess," Sam said. "The judge shut down Sarah's attempt to get full custody because Freddie's not related to Lauren…That was a given though. The next part is the hard part. The final custody agreement is going to be decided by the judge on March 4th…"

"March 4th?" Carly repeated slowly. "Oh Sam…They-They can't change the date?"

"I asked," Sam said. "This judge is a real hard baller. He'll only change the date for a documented reason. I don't think me leaving to cry over my dead son's grave counts."

"It should if he has a soul," Carly said darkly.

Sam showed a small smiled as she wiped away a stray tear. "A lot of people in the legal field don't…"

"Are you positive the date can't be changed?"

"Yup."

"Well then you'll have to talk to Freddie," Carly said. "Explain to him that-"

"Freddie's counting on him to help him keep Lauren, Carls," Sam said. "I can't just bail on him."

"But Sam-"

"I'll make it up there," Sam said, closing her eyes briefly. "I'll fly up really early that day and make a round trip back here before the thing starts or something."  
"Are you sure?" Carly asked gently. "I know it's great that you're trying to keep yourself busy down in Texas, but this is something that you really need to do for yourself."

"I'm sure," Sam whispered. "Look, there's no changing me losing Conner. I don't want Freddie to have to lose his daughter too. He still has the chance to keep her. He doesn't deserve to have to go through all that. No one does."

"You do what you think is right," Carly said supportingly. "And let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks," Sam said. "I've got to go. But I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," Carly agreed. "Bye, Sam."

As Sam hung up the phone, she laced the yellow and red lanyard on her keys through her fingers.

Conner, bed ridden from his medication his last year, had busied himself for hours at a time making them. This one was the last one he had gotten to.

"I love you, honey," Sam whispered, leaning back in her seat and looking up at the sky. "Always."


	26. Chapter 26

"So no arrests?"

"Nope."

"No parking tickets? Missed court dates? That sort of thing?"

"No."

"You've never even returned a library book back late, have you?" Sam smirked as her and Freddie sat on the couch of her apartment, scribbling a few things into a folder on her lap.

"You really that surprised?" Freddie chuckled.

"Nah, I should've known," Sam said. "Once a goody-two-shoes, always a goody two-shoes."

"Hey, there was one time in college where I convinced a professor to give me an extension on a paper by saying that my grandmother was sick," Freddie said. "But she _wasn't_. I just needed the extra time because I had to prepare for a software developing conference that I was presenting at for an organization I was part of."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Do you hear yourself?"

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, so I'm still a total nub."

"Wow…you know, it's been _years _since I've called you that," Sam laughed. "Nub…"

"Yeah, you're right," Freddie said. "Huh…weird. Never thought I would've missed that."

"You missed that?"

"A little," Freddie admitted. "I like to think that it was a term of endearment."

"Well if it helps, I missed calling you nub," Sam said.

"What? You didn't find some new target for your verbal abuse?"

"Nope," Sam replied. "Not really. No one ever seemed nubby enough for the title."

Freddie grinned. "Good to know. I was worried you might've found someone off at college to replace me with."

"Eh, I wasn't exactly 'friendly' in college," Sam shrugged. "Not like Carly. I mean her and I were always really close while we were there, but I was never Ms. Bubbly, get involved in every club, join a sorority, like she was. I would hang out with a few girls from some of my dance classes after rehearsal or something but other than that I didn't really find too many new friends. What about you?"

"Me?" Freddie scoffed. "I barely left my dorm my first few months at school. And then later on, well, that's when I met Sarah. I pretty much just spent time with her…I joined a few clubs, got some internships, but other than that I guess you could say I kept to myself."

"At least you didn't have Carly begging you to go to karaoke nights and mixers," Sam said, shuddering at the memory. She tossed down her pen. "Okay, well, these papers are finished. I'll drop them off when the office opens at noon. Hey, don't you need to pick up Lauren?"

"Oh, right," Freddie said, looking at his phone and quickly getting to his feet. "I promised her that I'd take her out for breakfast today. Hopefully Sarah hasn't fed her yet…"  
"Alright," Sam said. "Have fun."

Freddie stared at her for a moment. "Hey," he said thoughtfully. "Why don't you come with us?"

….

As Sam, Freddie and Lauren sat at their booth at the small, nearby diner, Freddie watched as Lauren and Sam played a game of tic-tac-toe on the kids' menu Lauren had been given. Freddie hoped that Sarah hadn't taken the liberty of undermining what he had told Lauren the other day about the divorce not being Sam's fault. Thankfully, though, Lauren seemed to be having fun as usual with Sam, and was laughing happily as she won the round.

"I like this game," Lauren grinned.

"I can't believe you never taught your daughter to play this," Sam said to Freddie. "What have you been doing the past five years?"

"Sorry, must've skipped this chapter of the parenting book," Freddie chuckled.

"I mean just because _you _never won at this game…" Sam said.

"I've won at this game!" Freddie defended as Lauren laughed.

"Dude, we must've played this game a thousand times during Briggs' lectures in high school," Sam smirked. "And never _once _did you win. The best you got was a tie and, lets face it, I handed those to you just to end the games half the time."

"Well _maybe _I was trying to actually pay attention in class," Freddie pointed out.

"Why were you wasting energy in that class? It was so boring," Sam scoffed.

"Daddy said school was fun," Lauren said. "I get to go soon!"

"You'll have fun," Sam said. "Because trust me, you'll never get a teacher as horrible as Ms. Briggs was. Hey, you know one time when your dad and I were like, fifteen, she actually-"

"You all ready to order?" a waitress questioned, coming over to the table.

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "Let's see…Lauren, you wanted pancakes, right?"

"Right!" Lauren replied.

"Okay, and I'll have the eggs with a side of toast," Freddie said.

"And I'll have that too, but instead of toast, I'll get bacon," Sam said. "Actually…I'll get bacon instead of the eggs too."

"So just bacon then?" the waitress asked.

"Yup," Sam nodded proudly.

"Can I try some of your bacon?" Lauren asked. "I've never had it."

"Sure, every kid should get to experience the pure tastiness of bacon," Sam said.

"Yay!" Lauren cheered.

"Wow," the waitress smiled as she collected the menus. "You guys sure have a cute kid."

Freddie immediately felt his face redden as Sam quickly looked away. "Oh, um, she-she's not _our_ kid. She-She's my daughter."

"Oh, my mistake," the waitress said. "I'll be back with your food soon then." And with that she headed away, leaving a slightly awkward silence between the two adults.

…

Sam let out a small sigh of frustration as she stared up at her ceiling later that night. She had come up to her room hours ago to try and get some sleep, but so far she was having no such luck. She looked over at the papers scattered around the other half of her bed. She supposed this was one of the small perks of being single; not having to bother to clean up after working in bed to make room for anybody else.

Realizing that she might as well take advantage of her sudden insomnia, Sam grabbed her laptop and opened it up. She had been trying to figure out a way to work around the unfortunate timing of Freddie's custody trial. She had figured out that a plane ride back up to Washington would take about four hours, assuming there were no delays. If she caught a late enough flight the day before, she could arrive there by three or four the next morning. By the time she got to the cemetery, she'd have a few hours to spend at Conner's grave before having to rush back to the airport to get back down to Texas to make the custody arrangement scheduled at three that afternoon. She'd be exhausted, but she'd manage.

She knew if she were to tell Freddie, he'd have no hard feelings about her going. Freddie wouldn't want to keep her from her son. But at the same time, she didn't want to let him down. Finally, after feeling useless and helpless for so long, she was getting the chance to do something right.

She remembered how worthless she felt, not being able to make Conner better as he got sicker and sicker; how she hadn't even been able to get him to his fifth birthday…

Here was a chance for her to do something; to make sure that Freddie didn't have to give up his child as well.

She couldn't explain it, but having Freddie trust her with something this important…it made her feel good. Besides, it _was_ nice to work for someone who wasn't trying to just get around the law, like most of her past clients had been doing. She could tell by the way Lauren's face lit up around Freddie that he had to be one of those fathers who dedicated everything he had to his child.

She wasn't surprised; she wouldn't expected nothing less from a good guy like Freddie Benson.

_If he's that good with his daughter_, Sam thought as she stared at her computer screen, _he must've been a pretty decent husband too. I bet he was super romantic with Sarah…he was probably one of those husbands who brought her flowers for no reason and told her she was pretty like, ten times a day…and she went and broke his heart. _

Sam let out another sigh; sometimes nice guys really did go for rotten girls.

Just one more reason why life was completely and utterly unfair.


	27. Chapter 27

Freddie walked up the steps of his old home as he had been doing everyday for the past month, ready to retrieve his daughter and spend the day with her until he brought her back in the evening.

It was really beginning to set in for him; this is what it was going to be like from now on. Soon Lauren would be the only link left between him and Sarah.

He knocked on the door, and a few seconds later it opened. It wasn't Lauren, though, who answered the door for him as she had been doing lately.

It was Sarah.

"Lauren's not ready yet," she said at once. "She spilled her milk all over her clothes at breakfast so she's changing."

"Alright," Freddie said. He stood on the front steps for a moment, unsure of what to do.

"You might as well come in," Sarah mumbled. "You keep standing out there people will wonder what's going on…"  
Freddie remembered how concerned Sarah always was about how she appeared to others.

"Okay," Freddie replied, stepping into the house.

It had been well over a week since he had been inside; normally the second Lauren would answer the door in the mornings they'd be on their way. He knew it really wasn't that long of a time, but it still seemed so different.

He spotted his slippers down by the couch, probably left there from a night he fell asleep in front of the television waiting for Sarah to come home.

"You should probably get around to getting your stuff out of here," Sarah said, noticing Freddie staring at his slippers. "Since you don't plan on living here anymore…"

"Right," Freddie said quickly. "I-I will."

Freddie hadn't been alone with Sarah since that day in the judge's office, where she had been shot down in her attempt to win sole custody of Lauren.

"I told you it wouldn't work," Freddie blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sarah turned around and looked at him.

"I told you there was no way your could take Lauren away from me," Freddie said, lowering his voice. "Even if I'm not her biological father."

Sarah didn't reply.

"Sarah, why are you doing this?" Freddie asked. "_Why_? Why are you doing this to Lauren? Just-Just-We can sit down and draw up partial custody agreements and be _done _with this. It's easier for Lauren and for us. Why are you trying everything you can to keep that from happening?"

Sarah took a deep breath, not meeting Freddie's gaze. "Lauren's all I have now," she whispered. "So you can be damn sure I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I don't lose her too."

…

"So how is it?" Freddie grinned as he watched Sam take a bite of her bacon cheeseburger.

"Oh my God…" Sam said, swallowing. "This is the greatest burger I've ever tasted."  
"Told you this place was amazing," Freddie chuckled. "They apparently have this secret recipe that they won't even sell to chefs at the _White House_."

"I wouldn't give up this recipe either," Sam said, taking another bite. "You'd be crazy to."

Sam had been working on the divorce case all day, and after Freddie had dropped Lauren back off, he decided that she needed a break to do something slightly more entertaining than burying her face in paperwork.

"I've got to get another one," Sam said. "Maybe even a few for the road."  
"Go ahead," Freddie said, amused.

"Hey," Sam said to their waiter as he came to refill their water glasses. "Can I get like…I dunno, six more of these burgers?"

"You got it, hon," the waiter nodded. "You feeding an army or something?"

"Nah, she's just got an insane appetite," Freddie said.

"Huh…I like that in a chick," the waiter said approvingly as he set Sam's glass down. "You know…I'm one of the few people who actually knows how to make those bad boys. Maybe you can come back to my place tonight and I can make you some. You know…after we work up an appetite."

Freddie frowned as he felt his fists ball up under the table. Was this guy hitting on Sam?

And more importantly…was he actually feeling _bothered _by it?

"How about this?" Sam said, smiling up at the waiter. "You bring me my burgers _to go_, and I don't punch you so hard you'll be lucky to even remember what a burger _is_, okay?"

Freddie held back a laugh as the waiter stared back at her, flabbergasted.

"Whatever," he finally said, shaking the shock off. "Your loss."

"Doubt that," Sam mumbled as he walked away.

"Glad to see you haven't lost your violent tendencies," Freddie said.

"That guy was a jerk," Sam shrugged.

"Hey, I'm with you on that," Freddie said. "At least now you don't have to tip him."

"I guess," Sam agreed, rolling her eyes. "Although I should really be use to pathetic guys like him by now, though."

"You didn't find any nice guys back-back in Washington?" Freddie asked, his voice sounding almost…_hopeful_.

She shook her head. "I told you; that was more Carly's field."

Freddie noticed she looked slightly saddened by this, and he remembered how even back in high school, Sam was always somewhat jealous of the attention Carly would get from guys.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you met some nice guys," Freddie said in an effort to try and make Sam feel better. "They couldn't all have been jerks."

"Sure, I guess some of them were somewhat normal, but don't worry, I always scared them away somehow," Sam said bitterly.

"Well…hey," Freddie said lamely. "Lot's-lot's of people have trouble with the dating scene. I mean, I don't know how _I'm _going to get back into it after the divorce and everything. But-But I'm sure you'll find some guy who's great for you. You have a lot going for you! You're-You're funny, you have a cool job, you don't have any commitments holding you back or-"

The second Freddie said those words, he wished he could go back in time about ten seconds earlier and slap some sense into himself.

Of course Sam no longer had any commitments holding her back in the dating world; her only child was _gone_.

Sam looked down at her lap, silent.

"I'm sorry," Freddie said at once. "That-That's not what I meant at all. I-I was-I wasn't thinking and I just…I'm so sorry Sam."

He quickly pulled out his wallet and laid a few bills onto the table. "Let's-Let's get out of here," he said.

"Alright," Sam whispered.

The two headed out of the restaurant and walked along the sidewalk, neither saying a word.

"Sam," Freddie said, desperate to try and make-up for his tactlessness. "I'm so sorry I said that back there, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine," Sam said, stopping in her tracks.

"No, it's not," Freddie sighed. "It's-"

"True," Sam said, somewhat shakily. "Horrible and-and awful, yeah, but true."

"Sam-"

"I just _hate _it when people think I'm some sort of fragile loser who can't even handle hearing the truth," Sam continued.

"I don't think you're a fragile loser," Freddie said at once.

"I mean, after-after I got attacked that-that one night," Sam went on. "No one would leave me alone for ages! Carly and Spencer wouldn't even let me walk down the street by myself for the longest time! And they always kept asking if I was "hanging in there" or-or if I needed even _more _help. And-And now that Conner's gone, everyone looks at me like I have some disease or something! I _know _how terrible my life is! I don't need everyone constantly reminding me of it, okay?"

Freddie blinked, unsure of what to say.

Sam sighed. "I-I'm sorry," she said. "I-I didn't mean…I shouldn't have gone off on you like that…You-You were just-"

"No, I-I get it," Freddie said slowly. "I-I get how everyone's…_pity _might start to get to you after awhile."

"Yeah, well, it's not like they're doing it on purpose," Sam said heavily. "But still…"

"But, Sam, listen to me," Freddie said softly, staring down at her. "I-I know you've had a lot of things happen to you in your life. I know you've probably been through more than I can ever even come close to understanding. But-But _please _don't think that your life is terrible. I know right now, it-it's hard, but I promise you, you can get through it."

"That's what everyone always says after something like this happens," Sam said. "And no one ever is."

"Well they weren't Sam Puckett," Freddie said firmly. He stepped closer to her. "They weren't as smart and determined or _strong _as you are. Not even close."

Sam stared up at him, their eyes locking.

"I'm not as strong as I used to be," Sam whispered.

"Yes you are," Freddie said. "After all, you've made it this far. Most people…they would've given up by now. I-I think I might have. But not you. You're a _fighter._ That's what I've always admired about you."

Sam wiped her eyes. "Even though half the time _you _were the one I was fighting?" she said, giving him the smallest of smiles.

It was still enough to light up her entire face.

"Yes," Freddie nodded. "Even with that."

He slowly reached up and wiped a stray tear from her cheek, feeling her soft skin beneath her thumb.

And then, as he looked down into those dazzling blue eyes, it was as if every ounce of restraint and self-control had suddenly vanished.

Before he could even process his actions, Freddie had craned his neck down and kissed her gently.


	28. Chapter 28

The second his lips touched hers, he was instantly transported back to that elevator in his old apartment building, where him and Sam had shared their last kiss.

It was as if he was still seventeen years old and nothing had changed. Her lips still felt just as soft and comforting as he remembered and the fire that used to burn in his stomach every time they kissed flared up at the familiar contact.

It was a kiss unlike any that he had ever shared with Sarah. It wasn't cold or forced or manipulative.

It was perfect. It was as though he would be completely content in simply staying there with Sam forever.

But then, through the blissfulness that had taken over, came the hard hit of reality.

Sam suddenly pulled away and Freddie could tell right away that he had made a mistake.

"I'm sorry," Freddie said at once, cursing his actions. "Sam, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-I just…"

Sam quickly shook her head. "I-I have to go…home. I have to go home, um, I-I think I left the stove on."

She wasn't meeting his gaze, and Freddie knew perfectly well that Sam hadn't used her stove in over a week.

"Wait, Sam," Freddie said desperately. "Sam, I didn't mean to-I was completely out of line to-just let me explain and-"

"It's-It's okay," Sam said, still not looking him in the eye. "I just have to go…I'm sorry."

"No, Sam, don't go!" Freddie said, but Sam had already turned around and hurried away.

Freddie let out a frustrated groan, aiming a kick at the nearby trashcan. How could he have been so stupid?  
_Way to go, Benson,_ he thought to himself. _She's a grieving parent who moved here to try and get over her son's death, decides to do you a huge favor and try to help you keep __**your **__child; even lets you stay in her home, and what do you do? You go and do __**that**__!_

"She's got to think I'm some kind of horrible jerk," Freddie mumbled. "That I'm just trying to make a move on her or something…"

_But Sam knows I wouldn't do that… _Freddie reasoned with himself. _Doesn't she?_

….

The kiss had been nothing short of breathtaking.

Sam could still feel the tingles rippling down her spine as she tore down the street towards her apartment building.

It was the same exciting, blow-your-mind, out of this world kiss that she had remembered from all those years ago when she and Freddie had just been naïve, young high school students.

It was the perfect kiss; and that's what scared Sam the most.

Sam raced up to her apartment, quickly closing the door behind her as she caught her breath.

No…she hadn't felt anything like that in years. As much as she would've loved to deny it, no guy had ever made her feel the way Freddie could.

But so much had changed since then. Their biggest problems were no longer figuring out what to do on that week's iCarly or Sam trying to convince Freddie to once again let her copy his math homework. He was going through a divorce and a custody battle and she was barely holding herself together nowadays since Conner's death.

There was no way anything could possibly ever work between the two of them now.

Sam tossed herself down on her couch, picking up Conner's picture from the coffee table and staring down at it.

_Besides, it hasn't even been a year, _Sam reasoned. _What kind of mother just forgets about her son so soon after he dies to go off with some guy?_

Just then she heard her phone ring and she saw Carly's name flash across the screen.

Sam sighed. She knew if she ignored Carly's call, her best friend would just keep on calling persistently for the next several hours or possibly even hop on a plane and fly back down to Texas.

"Hey," Sam finally answered.

"Hey," Carly answered cheerfully on the other end. "How are you? I just got home from work and I have some time to kill so I thought I'd give you a call. So how's the custody trial coming along? Everything working out?"

"Um, yeah, it-it's looking real good for Freddie," Sam said.

"Good! I'd hate to see him lose Lauren," Carly said. "And are you _positive _there's no way for you to somehow move the date of the final ruling so you can have more time to spend here for Conner's birthday?"

"No," Sam said heavily, closing her eyes. "I told you though, I'm gonna make it work."

"Well I still think you should talk to Freddie," Carly said. "Let him know. Maybe there's someway he can find a temporary lawyer or something just for that date. Do they do temporary lawyers? You know I'm no good at law stuff. I mean that one politics class I took in college nearly killed my grade point average. You know, maybe it's something genetic. Spencer failed at law, I suck at it-"

"You're rambling, Carls."

"Sorry," Carly said quickly. "Anyway, if you just talk to Freddie-"

"I-I don't think that's a good idea right now," Sam said softly.

"Huh?" Carly said, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Something…something happened," Sam said slowly. "A little while ago."

"What?" Carly persisted. "Did you two have a fight?"  
"Sort-Sort of the _opposite_," Sam explained.

"What do you mean the opposite of a-"

"He kissed me," Sam blurted out, feeling the weight of it slide off her chest.

Had this conversation been taking place ten years ago, Sam knew perfectly well that Carly would have wasted no time in emitting an annoyingly girly scream before pressing Sam for every last detail and going on about how great this was and how exciting it would be for her and Freddie to get back together.

But like Sam, Carly too knew things weren't so simple anymore.

"He kissed you?" Carly repeated.

"Yup," Sam nodded.

"W-Wow," Carly said. "Um, well…wow."

"It was just so out of the blue," Sam said. "We got cheeseburgers and then we left and then we were talking and then he just…kissed me."

"Well what did he say after?"

"I don't know," Sam said. "I think he apologized maybe. Honestly, I wasn't paying too much attention. I was sort of distracted, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Carly said. "But…so you haven't talked to him at all since?"

"It happened ten minutes ago!" Sam defended.

"Oh," Carly said. She took a deep breath. "Well how do _you_ feel about it all?"

Sam bit her lip. This had been the question she had wanted to avoid answering.

"I dunno," she replied lamely.

"Sam…"

"Look, Carly, it's not important how I _feel _about a kiss right now," Sam said. "It's not like either of us can exactly _do _anything about it right now. Freddie's got the divorce and this whole thing with Lauren. He's busy! He probably didn't even _mean _anything by this kiss! He was probably going for my cheek or something and missed and wound up with my lips."

"Sam-"

"Yeah, that's got to be what happened," Sam continued. "I'm sure that's what he was trying to tell me earlier when I just kind of left him….When he comes back up here we can just settle on that and forget this whole-"

"Sam! I asked you how _you _felt about the kiss," Carly cut her off. "I didn't ask for some pathetic explanation."

"I think _pathetic _is a bit harsh."

"Sam, what was going through your head when Freddie kissed you?" Carly asked gently.

Sam sighed. "I was thinking about-about how _nice _it felt. I mean its been awhile since I've done anything with a guy, let alone a _decent _guy."

"Well Sam, I'm confused then," Carly said slowly. "If-If you liked the kiss, why are you so _bothered _by it? I mean, I'm almost _positive _Freddie wasn't aiming for your _cheek _when he kissed you."

Sam shook her head. Couldn't Carly see how twisted it was that she was even thinking about things as trivial as a kiss so soon after Conner had died?

"Listen, Sam," Carly said, correctly interpreting her best friend's silence. "It's not _wrong _for you to be feeling something other than depressed."

"Its been six months," Sam said bluntly.

"Yes," Carly agreed. "But-"

"Carly, what kind of sick person worries about her _dating life _like a stupid teenager less than a year after her _son _dies?"

"Sam, you've been through a lot, I know," Carly said. "But you do know that eventually you're going to have to start getting back to your life. That was the point of you moving away from here, remember?"

Sam didn't reply.

"It doesn't make you a bad mother to think about yourself a little," Carly whispered. "You forcing yourself to be miserable isn't going to bring Conner back. And you know perfectly well Conner wouldn't have wanted his mother to live like this."

Sam felt her eyes grow wet. "I won't ever know what he wants. He's gone."

"He loved you," Carly said. "And when you love someone, you want them to be happy."

Sam looked back at the picture on the coffee table, at her son's sparkling smile.

"I'm not going to tell you what you should do about this," Carly said. "That's between you and Freddie, not me. But just know…you have a right to be happy, Sam. Don't forget that."


End file.
